Snowflakes
by shortie990
Summary: Snowflakes fell. It came down in pelts, painting everything in pure whiteness. If this had been a different lifetime. A different place, Piper Chapman would have taken in the beauty of the snow. However, this wasn't a different lifetime. This wasn't Connecticut or New York City. This was Litchfield. Post-Finale. Piper/Alex. A little Alex and Nicky too.
1. Chapter 1

Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

Okay, so I know there is lot of stories out there now dealing with the aftermath of season 1. But I couldn't resist not writing my own thoughts on it. Takes place where the season finale left us. I'm a big fan of Alex and Piper together. But I also think that Nicky and Alex have a connection too, that will be explored a little in this story. But will manly focus on the love that Alex and Piper share!:) Anyways, Enjoy!

* * *

Snowflakes fell like fat, little pieces of white confetti. It was wet snow. The kind of snow one dreamt of as a kid. Not that fluffy cotton ball crap but wet, heavy, packing snow.

The good kind.

It came down in pelts, painting everything in pure whiteness. If this had been a different lifetime. A different place, Piper Chapman would have taken in the beauty of the snow. Especially, on Christmas. Piper always loved to see a white Christmas.

However, this wasn't a different lifetime. This wasn't Connecticut or New York City. This was Litchfield. And Piper Chapman wasn't Piper Chapman any longer. Well she was by name but inside, that was a different story.

She was changing.

No, she was changed.

Prison had changed her like Polly, Larry and her mother all seemed to point out every time they had visited. At first, she didn't know how to take this. But now, after everything that had happened, she didn't care. Being here had already taken everything away from her. Her old life. Her old self. She had nothing really outside the razor wired fences. Larry had left her. Her wasp of a mother didn't count. She could careless about her mother. Her mother only judged from her high horse when she was around. She hardly counted as someone she could turn to. She had no one. Except for Polly, maybe. But she had her own family now. She had Baby Finn to look after and care for. She had her own life to worry about over the mess that was Piper's.

She had nothing.

In the matter of a half an hour that day, she had her heart broken, twice. First with the phone call with Larry and then with Alex's public rejection. She was damaged goods and no one wanted her.

The snow was weighing down on Piper's shoulders like a wet wool blanket at this point. It was a blizzard outside. However, Piper took no notice of this as she fell back onto the heels of her feet. She was numb to the world around her. Her hands were stained in Pennsatucky's blood but she took no notice. Her skin was raw from the coldness but she could not feel anything. She was in no pain as she lay herself down in the winter wonderland around her.

The only sound that could be heard was the soft whistling of the wind in the trees near by and the soft grunts coming from Pennsatucky. Something had snapped in Piper the moment the Jesus Freak had come at her.

She had never been a fighter. She had only ever punched one person in her life and that had been her younger brother, Cal. She had been 12. She had sucker punched him in the face. Knocked his two front teeth out. She had just gotten her period for the first time and Cal, who had only been 9 at the time had revealed this in front of all of their older brother, Danny's friends, which one of them, she had been smitten with. But now, she could add two people to that list. Cal and now Pennsatucky.

The hillbilly hadn't put up much of a fight when Piper had first hit her. She had hit her a good seven times before the adrenaline had begun to fade within her. And she pulled away from the unconscious Tiffany. She had finally shut up.

She didn't know if this was for good or not but she didn't care. Piper didn't care anymore about anything. She didn't care if Pennsatucky died or not. She didn't care with what happened to her inside or outside of Litchfield. She had no one to care for her. She had no one to give a crap about her or her well being. She had just herself.

Pennsatucky had been right, she wasn't worthy of no one's love.

She had nothing outside of this place. She was alone. She only had her thoughts to keep her company now. She had fucked up. She had fucked up with Larry. She had fucked up with Alex. And now neither wanted her.

She was poison.

Her love wasn't worth shit.

Tears stung her eyes but she quickly blinked them away as she closed herself off.

She didn't care what happened to her now. They could take her away to SHU. Add to her time. Send her away like they had with Miss. Claudette. She didn't give a fuck as she turned off the world and looked up as the snow fell over her. Surrendering herself to the cold. Her wrist was bleeding heavily from where Pennsatucky at stabbed her but she felt nothing. No pain. No grief. No sorrow. No fear.

She was a shell as she turned herself off to the world and allowed snowflakes to cover her.

* * *

"Please just kiss me," whispered Alex to Nicky. The two inmates had skipped the pageant and had sneaked into the showers together. After she had rejected Piper, she had been feeling down in the dumps. She wasn't feeling guilty about telling Piper to fuck off. But she wasn't feeling to happy about it either.

Alex was confused. She didn't know what to feel anymore when it came to Piper. She loved the woman. She _fucking_ loved the woman. But she hated her all the same. That woman was a narcissistic, sexy, _fucking_ sexy, bitch. And the love of her life. No matter how hard she tried, she could never stop loving the blonde. Piper was like her drug. She couldn't get away. No matter how hard she tired to get clean, she always came running back. But this time would be different. Or so she told herself.

The last time Piper had broken her heart, she had turned to booze and drugs to numb the pain. However, she was a recovering addict now. And didn't have either in her possession. So she turned to the next best thing, sex. Sex was what she was good at. It's what she knew best how to do. She took pride in this fact. And as she stood in the shower stall with Nicky just a mere inches away, it was all she had. It was still one of the few pleasures she had still in Litchfield. They couldn't take it away from her. That and her books.

Her green eyes bore into Nichols's brown ones. There was hesitation as the other woman appeared back at her. Nicky was questioning her. She was sceptical of Alex's request to kiss her.

Yes, she had fingered her earlier on her bed. Yes, she had enjoyed it. But that had been her Christmas present to her. A friendly gesture. Nothing more. Nicky knew that Alex was still deeply hung up over Piper. And she knew that the woman's feelings wouldn't change anytime soon. If there was one thing that Nicky Nichols was, a rebound wasn't it. However, she wasn't one to turn down a beautiful woman, either.

"Are you sure Vause?" asked Nicky, waiting for reassurance from the tall raven headed beauty before her. However, before she knew it, Alex had her hands firmly on either side of her face and was kissing her. Kissing her with such raw passionate, it took Nicky by surprise for a second. She stood there limp as Alex's tongue pushed it's way into her mouth.

But she soon returned the affection.

Alex felt Nicky's hands on to her waist as her own clench the massive mane of blonde curls. Their kisses were hot and wet. It was all fire and passion between the two of them as Nicky pressed Alex's body against the tile of the stall. They were deeply lip locked as Alex ran her hands down Nicky's sides and sliding one into the waistband of her pants.

In that moment it was just the two of them. They were lost to the world as they continued to touch, grope and explore each other's bodies. They both weren't thinking of anything as they allowed the other touch to take over.

"I want to eat your fucking pussy," came Nicky's hoarse voice in Alex's ear suddenly. Her brown eyes gleamed with lust as she smiled at Alex before dropping suddenly to her knees. Alex nervously licked her swollen lips as she stared down at her feet, watching as Nicky pushed down her pants and white cotton panties, revealing her bush of black pubic hair.

"So the rug does match the drapes," observed Nichols as she smirked up at Alex, who smiled in return. The two women locked eyes with one another for a second before Nicky turned her attention back onto the work of art before her. She placed her hands softly on Alex's thighs, gently widening her stand by a mere inch or so. She licked her lips tenderly as she trailed the finger of her right hand towards the centre.

Alex found herself closing her eyes and bending at the knees as Nicky slide her finger into her. A wave of pleasure immediately washed over her. It felt so good. Just like it had earlier when Nichols had fingered her.

And just like earlier, it didn't take long for Chapman to fill her mind. She couldn't shake her. A whimper escaped from her lips as she felt Nicky's thumb brush up against her cit at the same time as another finger entered her. Her hands pressed up against the tiled walls of the shower stall, bracing her self.

Nicky quickly deepened her touch on Alex. Her fingers pushing deeper into her wet, sobbing pussy. She could tell she was close to coming as the walls of Alex clenched around her fingers. She moved her fingers in and out of her for a few moments longer before completely removing them.

Alex's green eyes opened at once at this. Was that it? She hadn't come yet. She peered down at Nicky with a questioning look on her face. Was that all she got?

Nicky just smirked at Alex for a second as she brought her fingers up to her mouth and licked at the juices on them. Her smiled deepened as the sweetness filled her mouth. She tasted even better then she had imaged she would. Licking her lips, she locked eyes once again with Vause and motioned for her to come down. She liked pussy and all but she wasn't going to strain her neck for it.

If Alex wanted more, she would have to come down for it. And she did.

Alex quickly slide her back down the wall until her bare ass made contact with the cold tile floor. She raised an eyebrow at Nichols. Was she happy now? She had done what she was told. She wanted her reward.

Nicky smiled at Vause before she went down on her.

Alex let out a soft moan pleasure as Nicky's lips covered her. Warmth spread through the pit of her stomach. Her green eyes watched Nicky as she worked wonders on her for a moment before closing her eyes.

Chapman once again filling her thoughts. This time it wasn't just the image of Piper's face reflecting back at her but of a particular moment in their history. It was when the relationship had been new. When Alex's addiction had begun. It's when she first realised that she was falling under the spell of Piper Chapman, falling deep deep in love with her.

_Piper's blue eyes were wide with hesitation as she kneeled in between Alex's spread out legs. _

_They were in Piper's lame excuse of an apartment she was renting out.. Alex, wished rather that they were back at her lavish penthouse in New York, spread out on her California king bed instead of Piper's small full one. However, they weren't in New York. But in __Northampton, Massachusetts, where Piper was working as a research assistance for one of her old professors at Smith. It was the beginning of January and classes had yet to resume from winter break, yet. Alex was just in town for a few days before heading off on her next adventure to Spain. It had been three months since they had met at the bar. Three months of slowly getting to know one another and building a relationship. They didn't get to see each other much with Alex's job and such. But through email and phone calls and Alex's visits to Northampton between her travels, they made it work. _

_"Look, Pips, you don't have to," whispered the older woman as she reached out and lightly touched Piper's hand, which was resting on Alex's thigh. This was the first time they were being intimate with one another. Usually during her stopovers in the city, she would stay at some lavish five star hotel, seeing Piper for dinner and such. But this time, Piper insisted that Alex stay with her, in her cramp studio apartment. _

_Before this night, they hadn't done anything really but kiss and make out. Alex knew that she was Piper's first relationship with a woman and she wanted to go slow. She didn't want to scare the girl away. She didn't push her when it came to sex. Usually, Alex would had sealed the deal by now. But with Piper it was different. She didn't want to rush into anything that the younger woman wasn't ready for. Alex was perfectly happy with just kissing for now. They had all the time in the world to get to know each other on a more intimate level. _

_However, this was Piper's idea. She wanted to move to the next level. She insisted she was ready for it. _

_And so Alex had happily obligated. _

_They had already made love twice. Both times with Alex going down on Piper. She didn't want her to worry about pleasing her. She had been more then thrilled to make the night just about Piper. She could listen to her come all the time. It was music to her ears to hear the young woman scream, pant and moan with pleasure._

_However, once again Piper insisted. She wanted to return the favour. _

_"No, I want to," whispered Piper in reply as she locked eyes with Alex's green ones. She smiled at her. "I...just don't...know how to..." Her voice trailed off as she dropped her gaze onto the small triangle of fabric peaking out from the space between where Piper sat and Alex's pussy. _

_Alex let out a slight chuckle at this. "Just do what comes naturally," she explained, "Just think of giving head."_

_"Giving head?"_

_"Well, not really but you know what I mean. Just do what you like to be done to yourself," continued on Alex as she lifted her head off of the pillows and once again locked eyes with Piper. _

_Piper didn't say anything but simply nodded her head in reply before lying down on her stomach. Her hands rested on either side of Alex's hips. Alex had her knees bent and legs wide, waiting for her. _

_The older woman was already hot and bothered just by feeling Piper's breathing on her. Her green eyes watched as Piper slowly licked her lips and took in the sight of her bare pussy. She hadn't even touched her yet and she was already feeling herself get wet. She just looked so damn sexy there, lying between her legs. She couldn't help herself. Her eyes were dark with desire as Piper stared back at her. _

_Being with a woman was so different then being with a man, thought Piper to herself as she breathed in the sweet aroma of Alex. But different good. She never thought pussy could smell so good as it did at this moment as she burred her nose into her centre. She couldn't get enough of it. _

_Alex let out a small yelp as the tip of Piper's nose suddenly brushed against her. A shiver of pleasure ran down her spine. _

_Piper immediately lifted her head up at this in worry. Had she done something wrong? Had she hurt Alex? _

_Noting the girl's concern, Alex smiled encouragingly, motioning for her to continue. She was fine. She then watched again as she licked her lips and fussed her brows in concentration. _

_Piper was now thinking about if it would taste as good as it smelt. She didn't ponder this thought for to long before making the discovery herself. She started at the bottom and licked slowly upward, like a kitten lapping up spilt milk. She repeated the movement, once again taking in the sweet taste of her. Noticing that Alex's eyes were still watching her, she winked at her before once again nuzzling her face into her. She took this moment to plant a kiss on her slit. Her lips brushing ever so softly again the sensitive skin. _

_Alex couldn't help but smile as excitement filled within her. She could tell this was going to be one hell of a ride as Piper continued to tease her. _

_Piper continued to kiss Alex's pussy softly until Alex couldn't take it any longer. She needed to feel her inside of her. She needed more. Alex was practically buckling up from her seat on the bed. She was trying to steady herself and allow Piper to go a slowly as she wanted too but she was finding it harder then she thought. With every touch of Piper's lips, she carved more, desired more, needed fucking more. She let out a shudder breath as she closed her eyes and tried not to get too overexcited. _

_Noticing the affect she was having on her, Piper smiled to herself before kissing her harder on the slit. __Alex let out a deep breath, as she felt her cover her clit. _

_She moaned slightly as Piper licked at her again, roaming her tongue along her entire pussy before sliding the tip of it into her opening._

_Alex moaned again, louder this time and longer as Piper's mouth continued to work her. She had imagined what sex with Piper would be like since she had met the blonde. But never in her wildest dreams did she think it would feel like this...so good...so wonderful. It took her by surprise that this was her first time going down on a woman. _

_One of her hands clenched at the bed sheets beneath her as the other one clasped at the long blonde hairs, pushing her down further on her. The heels of her feet digging into the mattress as her hips lifted slightly off of the surface of the bed and pushed against her mouth. What her tongue was doing to her, felt so good. Her eyes were closed shut as her mouth hung open as pleasure spread like fire through her... _

Her orgasm was loud and powerful as her hand gripped at Nicky's mane. Her eyes were closed shut. Her mouth hung open as she cried out with pleasure. "Ppp...Piii," she whimpered in ecstasy as her body surrendered.

Nicky watched as Alex came. It was always a beautiful sight to see a woman climax, she thought to herself as she planted one last kiss on the now throbbing skin of her sex before leaning back on her heels. She couldn't help but look smug at her work as she wiped Alex's juices from her lips. It had been a very merry Christmas for her so far. Twice in one day she had gotten to make Alex Vause come.

Alex continued to keep her eyes closed as she waited for her heartbeat to slow down, for her breathing to become normal again. And she came back to reality. Disappointment filled her but she didn't let it show on her face as she opened her eyes and looked across to the woman She had forgotten that it wasn't Piper who had caused her to orgasm powerfully but Nicky.

A small smile appeared on Alex's face as she continued to look on at her friend.

Nicky just smiled smugly back at her. "Man, you come quickly," Nicky couldn't help but be impressed by this, "It usually took Morello twice the time to."

Alex's face hardened at the mention of the other woman's name. It wasn't about jealousy or anything like that. It just made her realize that both her and Nicky were still deeply in love with other people. It made her sad to think that they couldn't move pass these feelings.

Neither spoke another word as Alex suddenly rose to her feet and pulled up her pants. Nicky watched her for a moment before following suit. She didn't question her as she stepped passed her and out of the shower stall. Normally, Nicky would ask for some. But knew better then to question Vause at the moment. There would be time for her next time. If there even was a next time? She wasn't sure as her and Alex walked side by side out of the washroom and headed towards the chapel. But that didn't mean she wouldn't try for a next time.

Alex adjusted her glasses on the bridge of her nose. She didn't dare to speak or look at Nicky as they walked side to side down the hallway. She felt shitty. For not only using Nicky for sex but for still thinking about fucking Chapman.

Stupid. Fucking. Chapman.

She really wished she had a stiff drink in her hand at the moment. She wanted to numb the pain that was aching in her heart. From the gaping hole that Piper had left there. As she tired to push away any thoughts of Piper from her mind, to shut off that part of her brain, Alex took no notice of the crowd of people that had gathered just outside of the chapel doors. It wasn't until she felt Nicky's hand on her elbow, indicating for her to stop, that she saw what was going on.

"What the hell?" muttered Nicky under her breath as the two woman stopped dead in their tracks and watched as the commotion broke out. There was yelling and people talking over one another. It was loud. Louder then usual.

The words Chapman and Pennsatucky were being laced together in the same sentences through out the crowd. Alex even swore she heard Taylor name in the mix. What on earth had gone down while her and Nicky had been in the showers.

A cold sweat washed over Alex at this. She didn't like the sound of all this. What the hell had Chapman done now? What sort of trouble had she put herself in? thought Alex angrily to herself. But she knew whatever it was, she wasn't going to be the one to help her out of it. She was tired of cleaning up Piper's messes.

The COs were yelling now over the cries of the crowds. They were trying to take control of the situation. "INMATES! DOWN NOW!" cried out Bennett as he pressed the red button on the side of the wall, sounding the alarm.

"Holy Fuck," murmured Nicky as she casted a sideways glance at Alex, who had gone very pale suddenly. "What the fuck did Chapman do?"

* * *

Thanks for reading. And please leave a review, letting me know if I should continue or not.

Julie


	2. Chapter 2

Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

Thank you so much for all the positive feedback the last chapter got. I hope you will enjoy where I take the characters.

So just a heads up I changed the history of Piper and Alex just a bit. I'm saying they had been together for four years before Piper left Alex in Paris. And that it was been six years since then, instead of ten years.

* * *

_Piper's laughter echoed in the wind as she stumbled off of the sidewalk and into the street. She was a little drunk. No, wait. Scratch that. She was a little more then drunk. _

_She was fucking pissed. _

_Alex couldn't help but smile at Piper, who now stood in the middle of the street and had began to twirl. Her laughter continuing to blow with the wind. It was the early hours of the morning and the streets of Northampton were abandoned. It was Alex's last night there before she headed off on her next trip to Barcelona. Piper had wanted to take her out on the town, which had consisted of going to one of the bars on campus and getting extremely drunk on half -off drinks. _

_As Alex continued to watch her from the side lines, it had begun to snow. Delicate white snowflakes falling one by one from the sky. Alex wasn't one for snow and winter. She much preferred the sun and the beaches of Fiji. _

_However, Piper loved the snow. _

_Alex couldn't help but laugh at Piper, who had now stopped twirling and tilted her head backwards, allowing her long blonde curls to fall down her back and stuck out her tongue._

_"Kid, what are you doing?" cried out Alex in amusement. _

_"Catching snowflakes," murmured back Piper as she continued to look up at the sky and stick out her tongue. _

It continued to snow on and off for the next three days.

It was a record of some sorts, according to Big Boo who was repeating what she heard on the radio. "It's suppose to be the biggest blizzard of the year. They say it doesn't normally snow like this so late in the year. This is January weather we are having!" explained Big Boo with a mouthful of food. Her eyes gazed around at the other woman at the table. Which consisted of Nichols, Morello, Vause and Yoga Jones.

Alex just shrugged her shoulders in response to Big Boo's chattering. She could care less about the snow and whether it was normal or not to have such a heavy snowfall in December. It was the last thing on her mind as she casted her eyes onto her breakfast of runny eggs and a sad piece of toast.

She wasn't even that hungry.

She hadn't been hungry in a while it seemed.

Ever since Christmas, she had lost her appetite. After going back to their bunks that night, rumours had soon spread through out the prison on what had happened between Chapman and Pennsatucky. It made Alex sick to her stomach to think about it. But, that's all she found herself thinking about. It didn't help matters that it was the only thing people around here could talk about.

It was going around that Chapman had beaten the shit out of Pennsatucky. And then Taylor had stabbed Chapman. Healy had been the one to find them out in the grounds. Taylor had been taken away to psych. Both Chapman and Pennsatucky to the hospital. There was still no word if either of them were still alive.

Alex hated the waiting and the wondering. She fucking hated it. She had no idea what Pennsatucky had done to Piper to make her flip out like she had on her. Alex knew that Piper could have a temper, a wicked one at that if something brushed her the wrong way. But she also knew that Piper wasn't a physical fighter. Or at least she hadn't been when they had been going out. But it had been six years since then. Anything could had happened between then and now to make her one. Maybe Larry was an abuser and Piper had taken up self defiance classes to protect her self. However, she highly doubted that one. She had seen Larry. Met him for a fact. He was a softly. He didn't have one ounce of fight in him.

A tired sigh escaped from her lips as she poked at her eggs with her fork. She really wish she knew how Piper was doing. She really wish she knew what had gone down that night. Like really gone down and not the rumours that where swirling around in the mill.

She only knew pieces of the truth. Taystee and Poussey had been the ones to tell her of Pennsatucky's death threats on Piper. How the little hillbilly had confronted her in the shower. How she had been after Chapman for days after she refused to take part in the baptism, Tiffany had planned for her.

Alex had been surprised to hear all this. She had been surprised that Piper hadn't told her what was going on. However, she had to remind herself that Piper had chosen Larry over her and she told her to stay away. But now knowing all this, a feeling of guilt spread through the pit of her stomach that she couldn't shake. She hated how she was feeling guilty for not being there for Piper. But how could she had known?

They weren't together anymore.

She hadn't wanted anything to do with her. And Alex had listened. Piper had made her decision and she had respected that. But there was something that Piper needed to know too, that she wouldn't be around to clean up her messes anymore. That she was finally done with Piper's drama.

However, like she had told Piper a few weeks ago in the rec room. When two people have a connection with one another, it never really goes away. And no matter how hard she tried, she would never stop really caring about the blonde. No matter how many times she stomped on her heart, Alex would always come back to her. Maybe not at first but over time. For Alex Vause was deeply in love with Piper Chapman and so she had been for almost ten years now.

"Hey, no news is good news right?" spoke Nicky, drawing Alex from her thoughts.

Alex turned her attention to the woman seated beside her. Green meeting brown. Nicky smirked slightly at Alex as she continued to stare at her.

Alex just shrugged her shoulders at this. "Right," she whispered in a raspy voice as she dropped her gaze back onto her tray. Yes, normally no news was good news. But this was prison, where you usually didn't get no news what so ever. She could feel Nicky's concern gaze on her but she ignored it. She didn't want any ones concern or pity.

She hated pity.

And like that she found her self on her feet. Her untouched food tray in her hands. She needed to be alone for a moment. She ignored the cry of her name being called by Nicky as she dumped her food in the trash can before placing the empty tray on top of it.

She just needed a moment to breath.

She needed to be by her self for a second.

* * *

Three days she had been in the hospital. Three long days.

Piper didn't remember much of what had happened to her. It was all still a foggy blur in her mind. She had been unconscious for most of her time here. Taylor had fucked her up pretty badly.

The doctors had told her ,she had been stabbed, twice in the lower abdomen by a screw driver. She could remember the screwdriver part pretty well. Big Boo had given it back to her as her Secret Santa present. However, she didn't remember Pennsatucky's loyal follower showing up and stabbing her with the screwdriver.

That _fucking_ screwdriver would forever haunt her, it seemed.

She was handcuffed to the hospital bed. They were afraid she would escape or something. She couldn't help but laugh slightly at this. Like she had anywhere else to fucking go?

The only home now she had was back in her bunk at Litchfield.

There was always her mother's house in Connecticut. Her childhood home. but that place had long stopped feeling like home. There was also Polly's place she could go to if she was in desperate need. However, neither sounded promising to her.

The handcuff raddled slightly against the bar of the bed as she flexed her wrist of her left hand. She was only handcuffed on the one side. Her right hand was bandaged up from where Pennsatucky had stabbed her with the cross.

She hadn't been told yet where she was headed after she got released. But she had a pretty good idea where it would be, though. Back to SHU. Or worse psych. Her faith hadn't been decided yet.

Piper didn't really care where they stuck her. Or so she kept on telling her self. She wasn't really sure what she should be feeling at the moment. And it's not like it made a difference if she cared what happened to her. They would do what they wanted anyways. So what was the point in worrying about it. Her life was already fucked up.

Closing her eyes, she let out a shuddered breath as a wave of pain shot through her as she tried to sit up in the bed. She kept on forgetting about the row of staples that lined her stomach. They had given her pain killers to numb the pain. But they weren't strong enough. She wasn't allowed to have morphine, due to that it was high addictive and she would be leaving soon. She didn't mind this though really. She welcomed the pain of her wounds.

It gave her an odd feeling of satisfaction. Letting her know she wasn't completely lost yet. That she could feel something still.

Biting down on her lower lip, Piper casted her blue eyes towards the small window in the room. It was snowing heavily outside. It had been like that since Christmas. Or so her mother had in formed her casually when she had visited earlier that morning. They had talked about the weather and her brother Cal and that hippie of his fiance. Or her mother had talked. Piper had just laid there, listening.

Her mother had seemed to ignore the fact that Piper had beaten a fellow inmate and might be facing a longer sentence once she was released from the hospital. Or that she had one hand handcuffed to the bed. Her mother had always had a habit of ignoring the unpleasant. Pretending it wasn't right underneath her nose. Like it would all just go away like a bad dream or something.

But it wouldn't. This was Piper's life now. However, her mother only had to live in it for a few moments before returning back to her own life. Pretending her daughter was in Africa, volunteering like she had told everyone else. Instead of being locked up in prison.

Piper had been surprise her mother hadn't mentioned Larry. But she knew the lecture would come soon enough. Polly had told her that he had wanted to come but had told him not to. That she didn't want to see him .Piper frowned slightly as she thought back to Polly's visit, which had followed by her mother's. She wasn't sure what she wanted. Larry had made it clear he couldn't do this anymore, their relationship. And she wasn't sure if she could either. Yes, she had fun with him. They had been good together. But now, she wasn't so sure.

She had met Larry shortly after her return to the states. He had been her first real relationship after Alex. She'd had a few affairs with other woman but none had been like it had with Alex.

Larry had been so completely different from Alex. He was safe. He was comforting. Where Alex had been dangerous and unpredictable. It had been a nice change at the time. But now as she looked back on it, she realised she had been settling.

Settling for the life she had been raised to have. Meet a nice boy, move in, settle down and start a family. And that was the direction she had been heading in, until last year. When everything had changed in a split second. Just seeing her name written on the letter had sent a chill down her spine and her image once again returning to her thoughts. Those piercing green eyes haunting her, once again.

It hadn't taken Piper that long to regret leaving Alex the way she had in Paris. She had wanted to go back to the woman she had loved for four years. Four long adventurous years. But she knew that she couldn't. She had made her bed and she had to sleep in it. Just like her mother had taught her. Chapmans didn't have regrets. They weren't allowed to. So she tried to rise above it and grow up. To finally become the nice white lady she was suppose to become. The one who made soap and did juice cleanses on the weekends because it was fun.

Alex had just been for fun. Her experimental stage, or so she had told herself at the time after their break up.

But in reality, she had just been scared. She had just had her 26th birthday and her mother had been on her to come back to the states and get a proper job. It was time for her to stop traveling around like teenager and start acting like a grown up. She had wanted to continued being with Alex but she knew deep inside she didn't have what it took. She didn't have the balls too.

When her blue eyes had landed on Larry for the first time in Polly and Pete's place, she had known he was the safe harbour she had been looking for. The nice boy she was suppose to marry.

However, she now knew that Alex hadn't just been some stage. Some thrilling one night stand. She had been so much more then that. So much more! They had been together for four fucking years. The first year spent mostly a part with Alex spending a good portion out of the states. However, the years after had been spent together. Piper had come with her. Being a woken to the dangers and risks involved in Alex's job as an importer.

It had both terrified and thrilled Piper.

She had always been attractive to the different.

Blinking away the tears that had suddenly filled her eyes as she thought back on the love she had once had with Alex and had lost. She didn't want to go there. She couldn't go there. It hurt to much to think about. She had closed off Alex once before, she could do it again. Letting out a deep breath, she pushed anything thoughts of the raven headed beauty from her mind. Once again turning all feelings off to the world as her gaze turned to ice as she continued to look out the window.

_Alex crossed her arms over her chest and continued to watch as Piper once again began to swirl, her mouth wide open to the skies. There was a drunken smile plastered across her face. It wasn't to hard for her to image what Piper would had been like as a little girl, playing in the snow back in Connecticut. It brought a smile to her face just thinking about it. _

_They stayed like that for a good five minutes longer before Alex decided that it was time for them to go. She had plans on what she wanted to do with Piper back at her apartment. _

_"Come on Pipes," she cried out, trying to get the blonde's attention. _

_Piper stopped what she was doing at this and smiled seductively over at Alex. Her blue eyes were gleaming as they always did when she was excited about something. Which, she almost always was in Alex's presence. The tall woman had that affect on her. Alex offered adventure and the unknown. It's what most attracted her to her. _

_Alex couldn't help but smirk as Piper began to walk back towards her. _

_She always came to her. _

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Thanks for reading and please leave a review on what you thought good or bad! I love the feedback.

Julie


	3. Chapter 3

Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

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"Do you want to fuck?" asked Nicky in a teasing tone towards Alex. They were seated on Alex's bunk. Just like they had been just over a week ago on Christmas.

Alex just appeared over the rims of her glasses at the woman seated beside her, raising an eyebrow. She wasn't in the joking mood at the moment.

"What? too soon?" pressed Nicky, jokingly the corners of her lips turning up into a smirk.

Alex just continued to glare at Nicky for a second longer before dropping her gaze onto her hands, which were knotted together in her lap. She knew that Nicky was only trying to cheer her up. But now wasn't the time. They had just gotten an update on Piper from Red, who had overheard it from two of the guards. Piper was indeed alive still. She had been in a coma for almost 48 hours before regaining consciousness. She had been stabbed twice in her lower abdomen. She was being released from the hospital today and being transferred to SHU. Pennsatucky too was alive and talking still. She was said to be released in the next couple of days and returning once again to the prison.

Alex didn't know how to feel about all this. A part of her wanted to tare her hair out in frustration that she couldn't be there by her bedside, holding her hand. Another, wanted to cry like a baby. When she had first heard the news, she had been overcome with joy that she was still alive. But that soon turned to anger at the situation that Piper had gotten herself into. Piper had once again let her temper get the better of herself. And now, she might be adding to her time here.

"Hey, Chapman will get through this," spoke Nicky, her voice dropping low as she inched her face closer to Alex. "She's going to SHU. Not psych. That's something."

"I guess," murmured Alex in reply, not bothering to lift her gaze from her hands. Nichols was right. It couldn't be worse. They could have sent Piper to psych after doing a number on Pennsatucky's face. No one got out of psych. At least with in SHU, she had a change of coming back.

She then felt Nicky's arm drape over her shoulder. It wasn't a romantic gesture but a casual one. It wasn't Nicky trying to get into her pants. It was a friend supporting a friend. Letting her know she wasn't as alone as she felt as her heart let out a pang for Piper.

Alex's body stiffen slightly at the sudden touch but welcomed it all the same. Letting out a deep breath, she found herself moving down so she could comfortably rest her head on Nicky's shoulder.

The two woman were quiet for a moment as they both stared at the now empty bunk of Alex's old bunkmate. Taylor wouldn't be returning anytime soon. Her stuff had been picked up by a few of her Jesus friends, a couple days ago. Alex knew she wouldn't have the dorm to herself for long. That soon she would get a new bunkmate. But for the moment she was grateful to have the space to herself. It allowed for her to cry herself to sleep at night without shame.

"Thanks," whispered Alex towards Nicky. When she had first come to Litchfield, she hadn't been expecting to make friends really. Or fall in love all over again with Piper Chapman. But she had. She had made a couple of good friends here. Nicky was at the top of that list. Alex didn't know if the two of them would had ever met in the outside world. But she was grateful to have her here with her.

When Piper had broken her heart so many years go, she had no one to turn to for support. Heroin had been her support. It had been the best girlfriend she had ever had. Her greatest love.

However, she now had a friend to support her this time around as her heart bleed for Piper.

"No problem Vause," replied back Nicky as she gently ran a had down Alex's arm. There was a tenderness to her voice. She wasn't good with affection and comforting people. She blamed that one on her upbringing but that was another story. She just wanted to show Alex that she was someone she could count on. That for once, she had someone in her corner.

And that's how the two women stayed until the call for dinner was announced.

_They held hands as they walked the two blocks back to Piper's apartment. Both were giddy and ready to fuck. It was their last night together and they both wanted to make it something memorable. _

_Just then an idea flashed across Piper's mind as she stopped abruptly, causing Alex to almost fall face first into the snow covered sidewalk but she caught herself. _

_"What the hell Pipes?" asked the older woman, sounding irritated as she dropped Piper's hand and looked at her with an eyebrow raised. She wanted an answer on the blonde's sudden stop. _

_"I want you," whispered Piper through the snow fall. Her voice was low and dripping with lust towards her girlfriend. _

_"I do too baby," replied back Alex, her voice softening as she reached out to take Piper's hand again. She gave Piper a small smirk as she indicated with her head for her to follow. However as She began to pull Piper once again down the street in the direction of her apartment, she dug her heels in again. _

_"No, I mean I want you now. Right now. Here," spoke Piper. Her eyes locking with Alex with determination. _

_Alex raised her eyebrow at this. A questioning look appearing on her face. Was Piper being serious? Did she really want to fuck in the snow? "Right now, in the snow?" she asked towards the younger woman. _

_A small smile crept up onto Piper's face at this. She nodded her head in agreement. That was exactly what she wanted. She wanted to have her way with Alex in the snow. She wanted Alex to remember her by something. Something to hold onto in her travels. She wanted to show Alex that she could be unpredictable and as adventurous as she was to her. _

_Alex didn't say anything as she continued to look on at Piper like she had just suggested they go swimming in the park pond near by. She was up to having sex pretty much anywhere but the snow was her drawing point. It was way too cold out for that kinda shit. However before she could protest, Piper was on her. The blonde tugged violently on her hand, pulling Alex towards her. Alex gazed into Piper's face with surprise for a moment before she felt her hot, wet lips come crashing against hers. _

_The two women clung to each other like their lives depended on it at that moment. The kiss was quickly deepened as their tongues began to explore the depths of each other mouths. _

_They stayed like this for a moment or two longer before breaking apart suddenly. Piper smiled seductively at Alex before taking her hand once again and pulling her across the street. Alex didn't usually like to be lead. She always liked to be the leader. But with Piper it was different she found. She didn't mind letting the younger woman take control every now and then. Just like she was allowing her to do now as she continued to follow Piper's every step as they crossed the street and made their way into a small alley way. _

_They took a good few steps away from the street before Piper stopped suddenly and smiled devishly at Alex. _

_"Here?" asked Alex, a smirk on her face._

_"Here!" replied Piper as she quickly enclosed the space between them. Her eyes never left Alex's face as she inched her face closer and closer, until the tips of their noses were touching. _

_Alex playfully Eskimo kissed Piper, rubbing her nose up against hers at the same time as she wrapped her arms around her waist. She could feel the warmth of Piper's breathe against her cheeks. She found this to be such a turn on as the two woman continued to rub their noses up and down each other's faces. Their nuzzling soon expanded as Alex suddenly crashed her mouth passionately to Piper's. She was slowly taking control of the situation. _

_Piper's hands immediately went to the back of Alex's head, where she grasped at the long black hair for a second before running her fingers along the front of her neck and began to undo the zipper of her leather jacket. _

_As Piper continued to work on opening Alex's jacket, Alex pushed her up against the brick wall of the building. Their lips were still fussed together as Alex slid her hand along the front of Piper's wool jacket while her other clenched at her hip. She cupped at her breast but was unsatisfied still. There was too much material between Piper and her hand. Taking Piper's lead, she then began to undo the front of her jacket. Exposing each of themselves to the snow fall and coldness. _

_However, once both their coats were open, there was still too much material between them. Both woman ignored the protest of their skin as a cold wind blew through the small space. _

_"Ohhh baby," moaned out Piper as she felt Alex's mouth find the spot on the nape of her neck. Her mouth was hot against her cold skin. It was liberating. Alex had her body pressed up against Piper, warming her with her body heat as best as she could. Piper had her eyes closed shut as she felt Alex pulled down the front of her dress, exposing the tops of her breast to the cold. Alex's lips slowly made their way down the trail of goosebumps that had formed along her chest. She wanted to warm Piper. She nipped and tugged slightly at the skin as she went. _

_A soft moan escaped from Piper's lips at this. The mixture of the cold air and the warmth of Alex's breath felt heavenly to her. Fire and Ice. _

_"No bra," observed Alex as she pulled down the front of Piper's dress even further, making her left breast fully pop out. Her nipple was already hard and peaking from the cold. _

_"And no panties," she added as she slid her hand underneath her dress and brushed her fingers lightly against Piper's cunt. "You naughty girl," whispered Alex suddenly into Piper's ear. _

_Piper locked her eyes with Alex. "Fuck me!" she whispered. _

_A slow wide grin appeared on Alex's face. She could gladly do that. Her mouth once again attacked the side of Piper's neck as her right hand played with her breast. Her left hand rubbed small circles along Piper's inner thigh. _

_Piper lifted her leg, and wrapped it around Alex's waist, giving her better excess to her cunt. She clung to Alex, seeking her body warmth. She was a mixture of freezing and boiling hot all at once. She didn't know if it was the alcohol or Alex having this affect on her? But she didn't really care. All she cared about was what Alex's hands were doing to her body. _

_Alex rubbed her fingers against the pantyhose that Piper wore, feeling the heat of her cunt. She rubbed roughly at the material until it broke a small hole in it. Planting a open mouth kiss on her exposed collarbone, Alex slide on finger inside of the hole and found Piper's cit. _

_A whimper of pleasure escaped from Piper's lips at Alex's sudden touch. She loved to feel Alex's touch all over like this. Sex with her was so much better then it had ever been with a man, she thought. Alex knew every little spot within her that could make her melt. Alex wasn't a selfish lover either. She was all about getting her off. Which Piper loved. _

_Piper gripped her hands onto Alex's shoulders as she felt her slid two digits into her opening. As Alex continued to push her fingers in and out of her in a rapid movement, Piper crashed her mouth to Alex's. __Piper let out a low moan as pleasure filled her. Her hands cupped the side of Alex's face as they continued to kiss. Her back was ached as she pressed her hips against her hand, deepen her touch._

_The kiss was quickly broken after a few moments later as Piper could not take it anymore. Alex continued to move her fingers in and out of her. She could feel Piper was about to come as the walls of her vagina tightened and pulsed around her. She wanted her to come. Sliding a third finger into her, Alex found the spot that knew would send her over the edge._

_A loud moan escaped from the back of Piper's throat as climaxed. Her breath was like a smoking ring in the cold air. Her heart was pounding loudly against her chest as she locked eyes with Alex, who was smirking. Alex had removed her fingers from Piper but continued to stroke her outer lips gently as the two women continued to stare at one another. Leaning forward, Alex captured Piper's lips in a soft kiss. _

_That was defiantly something Alex would be remembering for a while. _

Piper took no notice of the food tray being slide into the room. She was curled up in a ball on the bed. Her eyes were tightly squeezed shut, closing off the bright fluorescent lights of the room.

She had just arrived at SHU. Her new home for however long.

She was hoping that sleep would come to her and quickly. But she knew she had no fucking chance really of that happening. For the screams of the place where already echoing in her eardrum.

She could hear the other inmates cry and plead through the vent. She could hear the pain and sorrow of them. This place was deadly, she thought to herself. This was were she was going to die, she could feel it in her bones. She knew deep down inside she didn't have the strength to survive. She wasn't a fighter. She wasn't strong enough for this. SHU would kill her.

She had made it through the first time but she was going to be down here a lot longer then two days. She was going to be down here for a while. She didn't have the mental strength to get through it all. She hadn't been able to get through most of the days in prison without having someone to lean on. How would she be able to survive solitary confinement?

Piper wasn't strong enough for this.

She pretended to be but she wasn't. Not like Alex who could keep her cool in any hard situation it seemed. Alex was probably one of the toughest, strongest people she had ever met. She was everything that Piper wasn't.

Shaking her head violently from side to side, like an Etch-A-Sketch. She tired to erase the face of Alex from her thoughts. She couldn't go there. Not now. Not ever. It hurt to much.

She almost rather get stabbed by Taylor again, instead of have to face the cold rejection of Alex Vause. To look into those green eyes that where once soft and gently towards her, where now only harsh and stone cold. Telling her to fuck off. Piper knew she had only herself to blame for Alex's rage. She had chosen Larry over her. She had chosen a life of safety and normality over the unpredictable and dangerous one, that Alex promised.

She admitted she had been scared. That she freaked like she had all those years ago when she had left Alex stranded in Paris. She had panicked like a deer caught in headlights. She'd been a coward back then. She still was a coward. She still couldn't allow herself to fall completely under Alex's spell. To finally allow her love to be enough for her. Being with Alex was like being two trapeze artist doing a routine together, flying through the air, with only having each other to depend on and no safety net below them. It was thrilling and nerve ranking, not knowing what really was to come next. But with Larry, he was the safety net.

She had chosen the net.

Like her Granny had always said to her, she couldn't have her cake and eat it too. She'd needed to choose.

And so she had, only to have the safety net break from underneath of her. Leaving her feeling broken, hurt and abandoned.

She was alone.

Piper found herself biting down, violently on her lower lip, preventing the sobs that were threatening to escape from her throat. Gone was the numbness she had tried to invade herself with. Cutting everything off. Emotions ran wild within her that she couldn't seem to control now. To Cut off. To stop from spreading like a disease through her veins.

She hadn't been there a full twenty four hours and SHU was already getting to her.

She cried out of loneliness, of the mess of her life, of not being able to touch Alex or another person. Not being able to see her everyday. To kiss her. To make love to her in the chapel like they had done just a few weeks ago. Alex had Nicky now, she thought bitterly to herself. A wave of jealously suddenly washing over her.

Her tears weren't all self-absorbed however. Piper found her self crying a little for Pennsatucky too. And what she had done to her. She wondered if she would see the little hillbilly again. And if she did, would she apologize?

However, her thoughts didn't linger on Pennsatucky for long before returning to Alex as an unpleasant thought reared it's head that she couldn't shake. Alex probably didn't care what happened to her. She probably didn't care that she was in SHU, again. She was probably just disappointed that she hadn't died at Taylor's hands. That then she wouldn't have to deal with her ever again.

Her and Nicky were probably laughing about her right now. Laughing that Piper had thought she'd been tough enough to take down Doggett on her own. Nicky probably had that smug look plastered on her face. That look she wore when she'd tricked Piper in to confessing that she'd squirted that one time. Nicky Nichols was probably very happy with herself, though Piper, that she had finally been able to win Alex's love.

Not her.

"Fuck them," she whispered bitterly to herself.

"FUCK THEM!" she cursed again. Her voice echoing around her in the small cement box.

This had earned her a couple of "Yeahs" in support from the cells near by. She hadn't realized she had been screaming loud enough for everyone in SHU to hear her.

* * *

Thanks for reading and please review!

Julie


	4. Chapter 4

Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

I found that most post-finale stories don't really give Pennsatucky a voice. I found her to be one of the most interesting characters on the show. So don't mind me if I give her one in here. I had fun writing her. Let me know how I did.

Enjoy!

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Alex hadn't meant to break down but she couldn't seem to stop her self. The flood gates had been opened.

It had started when her and Nicky had been playing Scrabble in the wreck room. They had been minding their own business. Nicky had just played the word, Pussy, which had made Alex laugh. She had never really been a fan of the game before. But she now found it to be a good distraction from Piper.

Nicky was doing her best to distract her and keep her spirits up. And so far it had been working for the most part. Piper was still the first thing that she thought of as she woke up and the last thing before she fell asleep. However, the days were less painful then the nights. When she wasn't alone with just her thoughts to keep her company. When her body craved for Piper's warmth beside her. Her little spoon.

However, their moment of fun had been cut short when Pennsatucky came trotting into the room with her misfits of followers behind her. There was a smug look plastered on the petit hillbilly's face. Pennsatucky hadn't been at Litchfield for more then a couple of days and she already though she ran the place, again. Not even a minute after arriving back, Pennsatucky had been flashing her new pearly white teeth as she back lashed at Piper, knowing full well that the blonde wasn't there to defend herself.

Alex's eyes narrowed as she watched as the Jesus worshipper and her crew took a seat a the table just a few feet from where her and Nicky sat. Her hands were clenched into sudden fists. Her body was pulsing with tension. "Easy Vause," whispered Nicky as she reach across the table to open Alex's right hand, which was crushing three cardboard letter tiles. "Big Boo would never forgive you if you ruined the set of letters."

Alex looked dumbfounded at Nicky for a second, mumbling an apology before turning her attention once again onto Pennsatucky's crew. She hadn't noticed the tiles in her hand. But she didn't really give a fuck about the cardboard tiles. She was more interested in the conversation going on at the next table over.

"Tell us how you saw God," piped up one of the followers. Everyone nodded their head in agreement as they looked up at Doggett with admiration in their eyes. It wasn't the first time she was telling the story. Everyone had already heard it, each verison more outraged then the last. Alex had already heard the story five times, each one a different version then the one before. It made her blood boil to hear it each time. And she knew that this time wouldn't be any different.

"Well, it all started when Jesus himself chose me to be the angel at the Christmas pageant. Me and God have always had a close relationship. But it wasn't until I put on that white dress, I really felt what my true purpose was. What Jesus had wanted me to do all along," began to preach Pennsatucky to the group, who were hanging on her ever word. "He had been telling me for months, but it wasn't until that night. I fully realized, that I was to kill Chapman. See, Jesus sends us all sorts of demons and such to test our loyalty and to punish us for our sins. And that's what Chapman was. My demon. She had disrespected me. She disrespected God! And she had to die! Like David and Goliath. God, himself was sending me into battle, like David to kill Chapman, Goliath. But I couldn't just do it right away, see. Jesus made me work for it. Chapman like the devil, had her ways of escaping death. She is a trickster. A fucking lesbian, sinning, sneaky, bitch trickster!"

It took all of Alex's strength not to jump out of her seat and knock the living daylights out of Pennsatucky then and there. She had always hated the little religion freak from day 1. But she was really starting to loath her even more then she though possible. Alex would had usually stayed out of it. It wasn't her business. But this time it was. She hated how she talked about Piper. She hated how the little twerp walked around the prison like she owned the place and thought she was so high and mighty with God. If there was a real God, Alex was sure he wouldn't be wasting his time with a low life like Pennsatucky.

"So when I was on stage as the Christmas Angel, I saw my chance. The lesbian had been sneaky out. Probably goin' to go have some lesbian sex. I just knew in that moment that this was the time that Jesus had been preparing me for. I followed Chapman to outside in the grounds," continued to explain the meth addict with intensity as she set the mood, " It was finally when I got to face my Goliath. I could feel God Strength within me, beating in my chest! Filling my lungs! He was there for every step I took!" Pennsatucky was now standing on top of a chair, as she preached for all to hear her. Her accent was strong as she continued to explain how she confronted Piper with God by her side. How she explained to the blonde that she needed to die. "I told that College she wasn't worthy of God's love! That she ain't worthy of nobody's love!"

There was a murmurs of cries in agreement from the crew around her.

"I almost had her. I was so close. I had her cornered like an animal. I had stabbed her in the wrist with my cross. I was so close to doing it again but in the heart. I wanted that bitch to rot in hell! But God had faded from me! Chapman attacked me then and there! She came down on me like the devil himself! sucking my soul from me! However, the Lord was not lost! He had found Taylor again! He had spoken to her that night too! Telling her to bring Chapman down and she had. Taylor had God with her when she took that screwdriver and stabbed Chapman," Pennsatucky dramatically tapped at her chest as she stared up at the ceiling. She took a long pause before continuing on.

"I saw the light! I saw the bright light of Jesus Christ that night! He came to me again. This time in the flesh. He sat at the edge of my hospital bed. He was dressed in all white. His eyes shined with love for me. "Jesus," I spoke to him. "Yes, Tiffany, it is I!" spoke the Lord back to me!"

"Are you believing this bullshit, Vause?" asked Nicky leaning forward in her seat, elbows resting on the table. The Scrabble game was now forgotten.

"Not one fucking word!" spat Alex, her eyes continuing to gaze over at the Meth head crew. Pennsatucky was done telling her story and was now leading a pray for Taylor and her bravery and Chapman's soul. Piper didn't need these meth heads praying for her soul, thought Alex bitterly to herself. Piper was way better then all of them. She didn't need their pity.

She felt the hot tears sting her eyes the moment Piper resurfaced in her mind. They were a mixture of anger and sorrow.

She hated the way Pennsatucky was talking about Piper like she was some evil devil that needed to be taken down. Yes, Piper was a self- centered bitch at times. But she is her self-centered bitch or was , reminded Alex to herself. She had been hers. But not anymore. She was that loser, Larry's now. And she wished them a happy life together. Piper was too much to handle for her. She'd had enough of the blonde.

However, it still never went away. The hole that Piper had left in her heart. No matter how hard Alex tried to close it off and not to think about her. It still remained open and bleeding. She couldn't get away. There was no _fucking_ way out it seemed from her love of Piper Chapman. She thought this would be easier now with not having to see the blonde everyday. But it wasn't. It fucking wasn't.

On the one hand, it was even harder to move on with the blonde not there. How could she move on when she knew that Piper was suffering in SHU? She knew exactly where Piper was and she didn't like it one bit.

Suddenly standing up from her seat, she stormed out of the wreck room before she could do something to Pennsatucky's new face. She didn't know where she was going as she looked down the hallway for a moment before turning suddenly on her heel and taking a sharp left. She was headed towards the library. She walked quickly into the room and ignored the glares from the other inmates at her sudden arrival. She quickly headed to her corner in the stacks. Taking a seat on the carpeted floor, she pushed her glasses on top of her head as she buried her face into her knees and finally allowed the tears to fall.

She cried over her broken heart.

She cried over Piper being locked away in SHU, while Pennsatucky got to walk around free, talking shit.

She cried out of rage and anger for not being able to do anything to the hillbilly.

She cried because she once again felt alone.

She cried because she still fucking loved Piper Chapman and she didn't love her back.

She cried because she couldn't seem to just move on.

She cried for acting like a pathetic baby. For losing control of herself and allowing for her emotions to overwhelm her.

A sudden thought then filled her mind that made her sob even harder into herself. She wished her mom was alive. She wished she could call her mom and talk about all this. Her mom had always been her rock in life. It'd just been her mom and her growing up and she had taught her to be confidence and to go after what she wanted in life. To not take bullshit. To take control and not to look back. Her mother was the reason why she was the person she was today.

She was biting down hard now on her lower lip, muffling her cries from the others to hear. She was crying over everything shitty that had ever happened in her life. From being teased in school for not having the name brand shoes that everyone else had. From realising she was gay for the first time. From meeting her father for the first time. From getting her heart broken by Piper the first time. From her mother dying and not being able to remember how their last conversation had gone. From going to prison. From falling in love with Piper Chapman again. To now. She cried over everything that had gone wrong in her lifetime.

And once she had started, she couldn't seem to stop herself. The floodgates had been opened. All the emotions she had let build up over the years came pouring out. Every thing she had tried to keep down, tried to forget about and ignore like it never happened to her, resurfaced.

Alex Vause, who always seemed to be in control, wasn't anymore.

* * *

_"You know you aren't the first girl I ever kissed," whispered Piper in the darkened bedroom. They had just finished making love for the fourth time that night. It was the wee hours of the morning and they should have been going to sleep but neither wanted to. Alex was suppose to be catching a flight to Barcelona in five hours and she still had to pack. However, it didn't seem to matter. They both wanted to savour the little time they had left together. _

_"Oh really?" asked back Alex, a smile playing on her face, "Do tell."_

_"Lucy Martin," spoke Piper proudly. She wanted to make Alex jealous, just a little. Her blue eyes gleamed with mischief in the dark as she continued to look on at Alex's face. Both women were lying face to face in Piper's small bed. _

_"We were thirteen. I had met her at the over-night camp my mother had forced me to go to that summer. I'd been furious at her. See, I had to leave my first boyfriend, Paul behind. I was convinced that I was in love with the pimpled face boy. My mother had said I was too young to know what love was and she sent me away for the entire summer. I had thought my life was ruined. However, all the anger and angst had gone away in a few short hours after meeting Lucy. She had been so pretty. She was half Korean and half Scottish and I had thought she was a goddess. She had this really long black straight hair like Pocahontas." A hug grin was plastered on Piper's face as she thought back to her first girl crush. "I had been smitten." She admitted. _

_"Well, go on Pipes. What happened with Pocahontas?" Alex was intrigued by this story of Piper as a young teen._

_"Well, after that first day at camp, she declared me her girlfriend and that was that! She had been the one to teach me how to not only kiss good but French kiss too. Before that, I had only kiss Paul twice and it had just been like a peck," explained Piper as she lifted a hand and gently caressed the side of Alex's face. "So next time we kiss, you should be thanking Lucy Martin!" _

_"Oh really!" chuckled Alex in her raspy voice. "Well, I think I can teach you a thing or two that Lucy can't!" Her voice was low and seductive now as she pulled Piper towards her. _

_Round five was about to begin. _

* * *

Piper was pacing back and forth in the cell. An habit she had picked up while being locked up in the SHU.

She could pace for hours on end it seemed and not get tired of doing so. Not that she knew how much time was passing as she did so. She had no acknowledge of time or how long she had been down there. Minutes and days all blurred into one long, continuous stay.

She found that pacing helped clear her head. Sometimes she would think of nothing at all and other times she would think of everything under the sun from what was happening on Mad Men since she had last watched it to what was being served for dinner that night at the prison. Sometimes she would think about her life and the purpose of it. Others, she would think about Larry and what he was doing and if he knew she was down here. If he even really cared where she was? Sometimes she would allow herself to think about Polly and the baby. Being envious and angry towards her best friend for the life she got to have. Sometimes she would think about the other girls at the prison, Morello, Sophia, Red, Nicky... the list went on. She would wonder what they would be up to. And sometimes in a moment of weakness, she would think about Alex. Allowing herself to image those green eyes and dark hair. That raspy voice laughing softly in her ear.

However, it wouldn't last for long before her words came hurtling back at her. For her to get the fuck out and not come back. To stay the fuck away from her. That she was done.

It would be then that Piper stopped her pacing and allow all her emotions to boil to the surface. She would slump against the wall and cry. Sometimes scream. Sometimes cuss up a storm until she was blue in the face and couldn't breath anymore. Physical exhaustion would set in by that point and she would fall asleep. Until being a woken either by the delivering of food or the scream from another inmate.

It would be then she would rise to her feet and begin the cycle all over again. The pacing, the thinking, the feeling, the screaming, the sleeping...

Eating and shitting in between all of it.

* * *

Thanks for reading and please review good or bad!

Julie


	5. Chapter 5

Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

just a little smutty chapter.

Enjoy!

* * *

Three Months.

Thirteen Weeks.

91 Days.

2192 Hours.

And counting still.

That's how long Piper had been locked up in SHU and there was still no news on when she would be released.

That's how long it had been since Alex had last seen Piper. Had last spoken to her. Had yelled at her to stay out. And Piper had been true to her word. She gotten herself into trouble and out of Alex's sight.

The irony wasn't lost on Alex as she stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror.

It was early. 5 am early. No one else seemed to take advantage of the bathrooms at this time but her. When she had first arrived in Litchfield, she learnt that the early bird got the worm. It had been a pain in the ass at first, rising so early. She had never been a morning person. But now it was routine and she took comfort in it. She had been pissed off at first when Piper had caught onto this little secret.

However, that hadn't lasted for long.

She hadn't mind sharing the bathroom with Piper. In away, it seemed like old times as the women stood side by side, leaning over the sinks as they brushed their teeth or in Alex's case, carefully applied winged eyeliner.

She couldn't help but miss the blonde now as she let out a sigh at the same time as she glanced over to the empty sink to the right. And like clockwork, her heart gave out a small pang for Piper.

She missed her.

The pain over the last couple of months had lessened and was manageable now. Alex didn't think about her that often or not as often as she had at the beginning. She found she had a better control of her feelings. She didn't allow herself to think about Piper much. Only in the morning, when in the shower, washing herself she allowed the blonde's memory to take over...

_"Do you ever touch yourself?" asked Piper in a shy voice towards Alex. They were snuggled up together in Piper's bed. _

_"What?" asked Alex, sounding surprised by the blonde's sudden question. _

_"You know. Do you ever touch yourself? Like masturbate?" asked Piper again, her blue eyes filling with curiosity as she stared back at her girlfriend. _

_Alex didn't know quit what to make of this question. She raised an eyebrow as she continue to study Piper's face, who was still waiting for an answer. Yes, Alex did masturbate when the need was desperate. But she wasn't a fan of getting herself off. She rather get someone else off. That's what her string of one-night stands were. But she knew that Piper would be upset to hear this. So instead she gave her the half truth, "Yes, sometimes." _

_"Can you show me?" asked Piper after a moment of silence had passed between the two lovers in bed. _

_"Show you?"_

_"Yeah," replied Piper, "I want to see how you get off. I want to know how Alex Vause, who is always in control makes herself lose control." She was serious as she spoke. She wanted to see how Alex touched herself. Piper had always found it to be a bit of a turn on watching someone masturbate. She had seen her pass boyfriends jerk off. She was curious to see what a woman looked like masturbating. She assumed it would be 10 times more sexier then a man. _

_Alex, propped herself up onto her elbow and continued to look at Piper, who just gave her a small smile in return. _

_"Pipes..." began to speak Alex but was cut off by Piper. _

_"Come on, just humour me, please. Plus, I want to see how you are going to pleasure yourself when you don't have me to do it for you," she spoke with a smirk on her face. Her blue eyes filling mischief towards Alex. _

_Alex continued to look on at the young woman for a second before letting out a sigh. Usually when she went away she would find a strew of woman to keep her occupied.. She had never been one for long distant relationships. Usually, she would had ended her relationship now and so she would be free to mingle and not have to feel guilty about anything. But Piper was different. _

_She wanted to stay committed to her. And not do anything stupid that she would later on regret. _

_"I rather make you get off," she whispered in a seductive voice, reaching out and caressing the side of Piper's face. The younger woman nuzzled against the palm of her hand for a second before pulling away. _

_"Please," pouted Piper, sticking out her lower lip. It was a gesture she knew Alex couldn't say no to. _

_"Okay," whispered Alex as she looked on at Piper before rolling onto her back. "I always first off start with touching my breasts..." _

_"No talking, just show," whispered Piper._

_Alex glanced over at Piper for a second, nodding her head before licking her lips and closing her eyes. She then placed her hands at the base of her breasts and began to kneed at them..._

But Alex would soon snap back to reality and go on with her daily routine.

Alex made sure she was always with someone, surrounded by people. It was then she would not allow Piper to enter her mind and enjoy herself. And pretend everything was normal. That it was normal for Piper not to be there with them either watching TV or playing Scrabble. That it was normal she hadn't been there for the New Year's Eve party that the COs had allowed them to have. That it was normal that she hadn't been there for Valentine's Day or Easter either. Life went on as they said. And so did prison life without Piper.

* * *

"Chapman let's go," commanded the officer as he opened the red cell door and motioned for her to follow. It was time for her to hit the showers.

Piper rose to her feet and followed the officer out into the hallway. Once she had reached the door, the officer immediately placed her hands behind her back and handcuffed her. In case she tried to escape or something.

She fell into step with the officer as he walked behind her, a firm hand on her elbow, guiding her down the hall of cells and towards the showers ,at the far end. Once in the room, which was just a little bigger then her cell she was un-cuffed and told to strip.

Piper wasn't fazed by this as her hands grasped the bottom of her khaki shirt and pulled it up over her head in one fluid motion, revealing the white cotton bra she was wearing. She barely took in the looks that the office was giving her as she continued to strip down to nothing.

A small smirk appeared on the officer's face as his eyes traveled down the length of Piper's body before he took a step towards her. He roughly reached out and grabbed her right wrist, locking one cuff to it before dragging Piper over to the nearest shower. There were three other shower against the wall.

The officer then locked the other cuff to the ring on the wall. She was then handed a small piece of soap to use. "Ten Minutes, Chapman," barked the office as he leaned in close to her. She flinched slightly as she took in the staleness of his breath on her neck. Her blue eyes widened slightly but she did not let her fear show. She glared at the officer until he let out a chuckle and went to go stand by the door. Placing the soap in her right hand, she used her left hand to turn on the faucet of the shower. A blast of cold water suddenly cascading down her back.

A shiver escaped from her lips as the cold water continued to fall down her bare skin. There was never any hot water when it was her turn to shower. She didn't really care though. She was use to cold showers.

Piper turned her back to the leering eyes of the officer as she began to wash her self. She closed her eyes and imaged she was somewhere else. Somewhere else but in prison.

Piper lathered her body up in soap. Pretending it wasn't her own hand caressing her skin but someone else is. It had been so long since someone had touched her with love and care. She wondered if she would ever feel somebody's touch again. Her hand gently touched her breast. Tugging slightly at her nipple as she slid the bar of soap over the sensitive skin. A shudder breath escaped from her throat as a sudden warmth filled the pit of her stomach...

_Piper watched with pleasure as Alex cupped her breasts in her hands. She watched as she pressed her palms into her flesh repeatedly. Pushing her breasts together and allowing them to fall before doing it again. Alex's fingers pulled at her nipples. Twisting and tugging at the sensitive skin until they were harden peaks. Piper had a strong urge to reach out and take the nipple into her own mouth and suck it. However, she squished the feeling down and continue to watch as Alex trailed a hand down the flatness of her stomach and towards her centre. _

_Alex opened her eyes at this and turned her head, so she was looking at Piper. Alex winked at her as her left hand continued to play with her breast as her right hand rubbed at her cit. Piper could feel herself getting hot and bothered as she watched as Alex slid her middle finger into her opening, as her other continued to play with her cit. _

_As Piper continued to watch as her lover pleased herself, she couldn't help but touch her own self too. She found herself copying Alex's movements, with one hand on her breast while the other went straight for her cit. Pleasure coiled around her body immediately as her fingers rubbed and pulled at her centre. H__er pointer finger gently rubbed the tender skin of her cit, as the edge of her middle finger slide into her folds. _

_Piper licked at her bottom lip as she continued to stare intensely at Alex, who's mouth was gasping open. Both were close to coming as their fingers continued to push deep within themselves. _

_Alex was the first to come. Her head pressed into the pillows of the bed as she arched her back and thrusted her hips against her hand. A low moan of pleasure escaped from the back of her throat as she allowed herself to lose control. She then turned lazily onto her side, allowing the rapid beating of her heart to slow and watched as Piper continued to finger herself. _

_Alex watched her for a moment or two longer before having to take over. Piper was on the edge of her orgasm as she felt Alex pulled her hand from her and replace it with her own. "Let me help," whispered Alex suddenly into her ear. _

_Piper murmured a yes as she closed her eyes and enclosed her hand around Alex's wrist, guiding her as she slide two fingers into her wet pussy. _

_"Cum for me," whispered Alex as she began to attack the side of Piper's neck with open kisses. Her free hand roamed up and down her side, gently caressing her skin with the pads of her fingers. _

_Alex's fingers dug into Piper's insides. Moving rapidly in and out of her. She continued on like this for a moment before __sliding her fingers out. She then quickly replaced them with her mouth. She licked and sucked on her cit and around the outside of her opening; before sliding the tip of her tongue in and teasing lightly before removing it. Pressing her mouth over the opening, Alex blew hot air into her. Licking her cit, she drew her tongue once again into her opening._

_Alex's tongue twisted and turned, sucking on the lips of her vagina. They plunged deep within her, causing Piper to climax loudly..._

Piper slid the bar of soap down her stomach and in between her legs. She rubbed the soap against her bush until a good lather had built up. As she clenched the soap with thumb and ring finger, she slid her pointer and middle finger into herself. She tired to forget about the officer watching her as she continued to quickly move her fingers in and out of her.

She came quickly and silently as she bit down on her lower lip , preventing her moans to escape.

As she tried to catch her breath, she could hear the officer approach from behind.

"Time's up Chapman," he spoke as he suddenly turned off the water of the shower and un-cuffed Piper's hand from the wall.

Piper blinked the water from her eyes and glanced over at the officer. He smirked at her as if reading her thoughts. She just glared at him in return before dropping her gaze onto the tiled floor. She felt him take the soap from her hand at the same time as he dragged her towards her pile of clothes. He handed her a towel to dry herself off before telling her to get dressed.

The whole ordeal took a total of five minutes before Piper found herself back in her cell. Alone, once again.

_Alex was fully clothed as she stood in the threshold of Piper's bedroom. Piper was fast asleep and lying on her stomach completely naked. After a night fill with sex and talking, she was spent. She had only been a sleep for an hour now. _

_Alex didn't have the heart to wake her up from slumber to tell her she was leaving. But she didn't want to leave without saying goodbye either. Over the pass few days, their relationship had shifted from being two people casually seeing one another to so much more. They hadn't discussed anything but Alex could tell. Piper was different. That this relationship was different then any other she'd had before. She didn't want Piper to be another one of her many fucks. She wanted it to be so much more. She wanted Piper to be her girlfriend. _

_Letting out a sigh, Alex unfolded her arms from her chest and enclosed the distance between the doorframe and the bed. She knelt down at the edge of the bed. She couldn't help but smile at the sight of Piper, sleeping. It was a beautiful sight, she thought as she continued to admire the young woman's face. Reaching out, she brushed the long blonde strands of hair off of her cheek and leaned forwards and planted a kiss just where her jaw lined up with the base of her ear. _

_Piper stirred slightly at Alex's touch. _

_Alex smirked at her reaction before she leaned forwarded and kissed her again. _

_This time, Piper's eyes fluttered open and stared back at Alex with confusion. The two woman locked eyes with each other for a moment before Piper lifted her head off of the bed and glanced over to the small clock radio on her dresser. It was just passed 6 in the morning. The sun had not yet risen. The sky was still dark outside the window. A few snowflakes were falling slowly from the sky. _

_Piper turned her attention back onto Alex, her brows knitted together in puzzlement. _

_"I got to go, Kid," whispered Alex, sadly towards her. _

_"But..." murmured Piper as she continued to stare at Alex. She then suddenly sat up in bed, as it dawned on her. "Let my come to the airport with you." Piper didn't want to see Alex go, just as much as she didn't want to leave. _

_"Pipes," whispered Alex tenderly as she reached out and caressed the side of Piper's face, "I got to go, my taxi is waiting outside." Her voice was soft and gentle as she caressed every word with her tongue. _

_Piper felt tears sting her eyes but she blinked them away. She wouldn't allow herself to cry. Not in front of Alex that was. Piper opened her mouth to say something but before she could, she felt Alex's lips press up against hers. The kiss was long and filled with passion. _

_The sound of a honking car from outside broke them apart. "That's my taxi," whispered Alex, who was suddenly overcome with emotion. She wasn't good with goodbyes. And usually avoided them when she could. "I heart you kid," she whispered, leaning forward and once again kissing Piper quickly on the mouth before suddenly rising to her feet. She was really cutting it close now. She needed to go as much as she hated too. _

_"Call me," replied Piper through sudden tears. _

_"Always," replied back Alex, smiling at Piper. She took a mental image of the beautiful creature before her, savouring this moment for later before she turned and walked out of the room. _

_This was not their first time parting. But had defiantly been the hardest one, so far. _

* * *

Thanks for reading and please leave a review, good or bad! The next chapter will contain Piper and Alex reunion.

Julie


	6. Chapter 6

Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

I know some people have brought up with is happening with Piper. I'm not really sure myself. I have a vague idea so just keep up with me and have a little patience. :) Reviews are always welcome!

Also, I am glade you guys are enjoying the flashbacks. It's something I do a lot in my stories. I think it gives a story more depth. I hope the sex scenes are okay. I am kinda writing them blindly, since I'm straight, feel like I don't know what I am doing lol

Anyways...Enjoy, it's a long one!

* * *

Five months had passed since Christmas.

It was no longer snowing or a winter wonderland outside.

It was spring time now. The birds were out and singing. The sun was bright and shinning over the tree tops. It was the type of day that was meant to be spent outside. However, Piper Chapman wasn't allowed that luxury. She didn't get to marvel at the beauty of the world as she was escorted out of SHU and into Morello's van

She was finally being allowed to leave her small cell and re-enter the world. A mix of emotions were coursing through Piper as she shifted herself onto the middle seat at the back of Morello's van. It was déjà vu, she thought as she listened to Morello's squeak of a voice tell her that they were waiting for another inmate to join them. Piper didn't return the woman's smile as she continued to sit there, clenching at the pillow she had been handed previously.

She was both excited and anguish to return to the prison and see all her old inmates again. Women, who she considered to be her friends. However, she was nervous and scared. It'd been so long since she had been around other people. She was so use to having only herself for company. Only having her thoughts to rely on. She didn't know if she would be able to handle life in prison again, where there was very little to no time to herself.

"You okay, Chapman?" asked Morello, looking at Piper through the rear-view mirror. Her brown eyes stared intensely at her with concern.

Again, Piper didn't say anything to Morello as her blue eyes locked with hers before turning her attention out the window of the van.

"We missed you," continued on Morello, chatty to Piper nervously. "Everyone has. Big Boo, Nicky..." Her voice trailed off as she realize that Piper wasn't paying her any attention anymore. The small woman let out a sigh. She had wanted to mention that Alex had missed Piper too but decided against it.

All in due time, thought Morello to herself. All in due time.

Just then the other inmate they'd been waiting for, arrived and took the seat beside Piper. As the other inmate's leg brushed up against Piper, she let out a small gasp at the sudden contact. Her blue eyes widened with shock as she turned her head to look at the other woman, who smiled boldly at her. "The name's Ross!" She spoke with a heavy New York accent. She stuck out her hand for Piper to shake.

Piper gave Ross the once over before immediately sliding away from her on the bench and towards the window. She wasn't interested in making friends. She turned her attention away from both Ross and Morello and once again got lost in her own world. She stared intensely out the window and into the parking lot. It wasn't much to look at. But at that moment, it was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen. Her blue eyes poured over every detail from the grey cement to the muddy yard, just beyond the fence. She was looking on at it like it would be the last thing she would ever see. She still had a feeling that she would be sent back to SHU. That the COs would realized that they had made a mistake and send her back to her darken cell.

Morello looked over her shoulder at Ross, who was frowning in Piper's direction.

"Don't take it personally, hun," she squeaked to the new inmate, "Chapman has just been through hell. The name's Morello." The smaller woman then leaned forward as best she could from the driver's seat and held out her hand towards Ross.

Ross looked over at Morello and nodded her head before taking Morello's hand and shaking it.

Morello continued to chatter away as she turned on the engine of the van and drove towards the prison. She didn't talk about anything of importance. It was mostly the same conversation that she gave most new inmates to Litchfield. Giving a layout of the land. There were a couple times during the short drive that Morello attempted to bring Piper into the conversation. But Piper remained deaf to them.

"Chapman!"

"Chapman!" cried out Morello as she leaned over the driver seat and place a hand on Piper's knee.

Piper ,immediately jumped back at the sudden contact of Morello's hand on her knee. She wasn't use to these small touches. Her blue eyes widened in shock as she stare at the spot were Morello's hand had been. Her eyes then shot up and looked at Morello, who was looking back at her with an apologetic look. "We are here," squeaked Morello in a quiet voice. She looked on at Piper for a moment longer before climbing out of the van.

Piper felt like crying as she watched as Morello shut the driver's side door and began to walk towards the prison. Her eyes brimmed with tears. Who was this person she had become? she thought to herself. She felt completely naked and vulnerable as she continued to sit in the van, hugging the pillow to her chest. How was she going to handle every one back at the prison, if she couldn't handle a little touch from Morello? She was fucked up, she thought to herself as someone suddenly banged loudly on the back of the Van.

"CHAPMAN! LET'S GO!" cried out one of the COs to Piper. His ugly face glaring at her to move her ass.

Piper immediately swallowed over the lump in her throat and looked wide eyed at the CO for a second before scooting out of the van.

Her legs felt weak as she followed the CO into the prison and down the hallway. It was quiet, which Piper was thankful for. She assumed that everyone was at breakfast or at work. She wasn't quite sure what the time was but she figured it was sometime in the morning. The CO was leading her to Healy's office. He was still her counsellor.

Her heart pounded rapidly against her chest as she stepped into the familiar office and took the seat across from Healy's desk. The officer, barely looked at her as she took a seat. He was typing rapidly away on his keyboard. Piper just sat there for a good minute or two, nervously shaking her leg as she listened to Healy continued to type away at the computer before the officer let out a deep sign and turned his attention onto her.

She was nervous on what Healy was going to say to her. She knew that he hated her. And she wasn't to fond of the officer either. Especially after he'd left her alone with Doggett that night. How things could had been so different, if he had intervened that night, she thought as she locked eyes with the CO. His expression was cold and distant from her. Piper matched it. Trying not to let her nerves show.

"Chapman, welcome back," spoke the officer, a smile appearing on his face, one that didn't quit reach his eyes.

Piper didn't say anything in reply to this. Her jaw was clenched as she continued to look across at Healy. She tried to keep her expression as neutral as possible as Healy just continued to study her for a moment before he let out a sigh. He then went on to explain to her that she would be told in the next few days what the board decided to do with her time here. She was possibly looking at more time. Which she knew already.

Healy continued to talk for a few more moments before telling her, she could leave. That they were done.

Piper was quickly on her feet at this and out of the small office. She could hear Healy chuckle as the door closed behind her but she ignored it. Her blue eyes scanned the hallway until they landed on a tall figure standing beside her. She clenched at her pillow in sudden fright. She was taken by surprise by the CO's presence by the door. The other one which had escorted her from the van was gone and replaced by Bennett. Piper just stared at the younger man for a second in puzzlement.

"Come on Chapman," spoke Bennett giving her a kind smile before he crooked his head and indicated for Piper to follow him. She was to be re-entered into the system and had to wait to be assigned into a new dorm. Just like she had when she first arrived at Litchfield.

Bennett nodded his head in farewell as he showed her to her temporary home. It was a medium sized room with four bunks beds cramped into it. It was similar to the one she had first stayed in at prison. She didn't say anything to the CO as she watched him leave. The room was empty. Everyone was at work. She had the place to herself for the moment, which she was grateful for. She had been assigned the bottom of the bunk, closest to the window.

Piper, who didn't have anywhere to go or any place to be, hugged her pillow closer against her body as she curled up onto the mattress of the bunk. She didn't bother to get undress or take off her boots. She turned onto her side so that she had her back to the door and her face to the wall. She then squeezed her eyes shut and hoped that sleep would soon follow.

She'd only ran into a handful of people so far and she was already exhausted. She didn't know how she would make it through the rest of the day with her emotions in check.

_It was a month later until they saw each other again. _

_Ironically it was Valentine's Day, the day for lovers when the two women reunited. Alex had been kept longer in Barcelona then what had been originally planned. A problem had risen with the business on the day she was suppose to return to the states causing her to postpone her return. _

_Alex couldn't help but grin like a fool as she took in the sight of Piper Chapman holding up a sign, with her name written on it as she walked out of through customs. She hadn't been expecting Piper to pick her up from the airport. They had plans to meet later for dinner but that had been it. Alex didn't even quite remember telling Piper through email when her flight got in. _

_But no matter how Piper found out, she didn't care. She was just happy to see the blonde. _

_Piper was smiling as broadly as Alex was as she enclosed the distance between them. Alex dropped her suitcase to the ground before she wrapped her arms around Piper and crashed her mouth passionately down on hers. This sudden action took Piper back by surprise for a moment but it wasn't long until Piper was kissing her back with the same force and affection. _

_The two women continued to kiss for a few moments longer before breaking apart breathily. "It's good to see ya, kid," whispered Alex as she rested her forehead against Piper's and gazed into her sea blue eyes. _

_"God, I've missed you," whispered back Piper, licking her lips and staring intensely back up at Alex. Both woman were clinging to each other like their lives depended on it. It had been a long month for them both. They had kept in contact through email and the odd phone call. But it had not been enough. They had both craved each other's touch. Each other's body against one another. Skin against skin. _

_The two women just continued to stand there, gazing at each other like two love-sick teenagers before Alex quickly smacked her lips against Piper's. "Come on, let's pop this joint," she whispered as she painfully let Piper go from her arms, before bending down and picking up her abandoned suitcase in one hand and taking Piper's in her other. _

_The two of them then walked hand in hand out of the airport and towards Piper's car. _

Alex was folding laundry like she could be found doing on most days when Morello came running into the laundry room.

"VAUSE!" she cried out as she clenched the front of her uniform. She was out of breath.

An amused looked appeared on Alex's face at this, "Where's the fire, Morello?" She asked as she reached out for a clean towel in the pile in front of her and began to fold it.

"No...fire..." squeaked Morello as she leaned forwarded and tried to catch her breath, "Chapman!"

Alex stopped folding the sheet in her hands and just stared at Morello at the mention of Piper's name. "Piper?" she asked, making sure she had heard right.

"Yes..." squeaked Morello, looking up and meeting Alex's eye. "She's back." She couldn't help but smile at the emotions playing out on Alex's face at this. Lorna knew how much Alex had missed Piper over the last five months.

Alex felt tears sting her eyes suddenly but she quickly blinked them away and tried to downplay the grin on her face. This was the best news she had heard in a while. A mixture of excitement and nervous coursed through her body at hearing that Piper was back. That she would be able to see her after months of being apart. She was just afraid how Piper would react to her.

As if reading her thoughts, Morello frowned suddenly at Alex. "Don't get your hopes up too soon," she explained to Alex in a sadden voice.

Alex raised an eyebrow at this. What was Morello getting at?

"She's in rough shape," squeaked Morello. She didn't say anything else after this. She had to get back to work herself. She had just come in quickly to tell Vause about the news on her girl. She gave Alex a small smile before heading out of the laundry room. Leaving Alex to her thoughts.

Alex was glad that Pennsatucky was not working the same shift as she was that morning. She couldn't tolerate the meth head on most days. She didn't know if she would be able to handle her after hearing the news that Piper was back. She desperately wanted to leave the laundry room and to go find Piper. She just wanted to see her to make sure what Morello had told her was true. But she fought off the urges that coursed through her body. Lunch would be soon and she would hopefully get to see her there.

As Alex continued to fold towel after towel, she couldn't help but think about what Morello had said about Piper being in rough shape. That she shouldn't get her hopes up to much. She didn't quite get what that meant. She knew that SHU could change a person. And Piper had spent a good five months down there. She hoped that Piper hadn't changed too much. Piper had survived the SHU before. So had Nicky and she was fine. Surely Piper would still be Piper, right?

She would just have to see it for herself, she guessed.

_Alex had booked a hotel but Piper insisted she stay at her apartment. _

_Alex, who was going to be in town a little longer then last time decided she needed to buy an apartment. So she didn't always have to crash at Piper's. Alex's real home was in New York City but Piper was in Northampton and would be until the summer. _

_Alex had plans to take Piper away with her then but for now, she would come to her. _

_"So how was Spain?" asked Piper nervously towards the older woman. They were seated on her couch. She had her legs stretched out and resting on Alex's lap. Piper didn't know how to act around Alex. Two much time had been spent apart. She was afraid that Alex had found someone else. Or wouldn't be interested in her anymore. _

_"It was..." Alex's voice trailed off slightly as she tired to think of a good word to describe her time in Barcelona. Piper knew about her job as a international drug importer but Alex didn't try to bring the dangers of the job into her relationships. She didn't want Piper to have to worry. "Okay.. The whole time I was there I couldn't stop thinking about you." Her voice was low and seductive as she peered over the rims of her glasses and over at Piper. _

_The younger woman was biting down on her lower lip as sudden excitement filled the pit of her stomach. _

_"I couldn't stop thinking about how good your body felt against mine, the heat of your pussy against my mouth..." Alex continued to stare at Piper as she began to massage her foot. Digging the pads of her thumbs into Piper's arch. _

_"I..I'd missed you too," stuttered Piper in response of Alex's sudden touch. What she was doing to her foot, felt so good. Foot massages were such a turn on for her. As Alex's deepened the massage, Piper threw her head back, exposing her throat to the older woman before letting out a deep purring like noise. _

"Vause, keep your panties dry," chuckled Nicky towards Alex, who kept on looking at the door for Piper's arrival into the cafeteria. She had just taken a seat five minutes ago but she couldn't seem to focus on the tray of food before her. Her eyes kept on drifting towards the doors.

"Go to hell!" spoke Alex at Nicky's little joke. She knew she must appear like a desperate love sick teenager waiting to see their crush at lunch. But she couldn't help herself. When it came to Piper, she seemed to lose all control. Plus, she knew if the tables had been reversed and Morello had been the one in SHU for the last five months, Nicky would be acting as desperate as she was now.

Nicky just smirked as Alex gave her the finger. She knew this was a big deal for Alex. Over the last five months, she had watched as Alex Vause, a usual cool cucumber in most situations fell completely apart at the lost of Piper Chapman. Ever since that night in the shower stalls, the two women hadn't done anything else together. Alex had no longer wanted Nicky as her fuck buddy. She had wanted Piper Chapman as her lover. Nicky could understand this for she was still deeply hung over Lorna Morello still. Even if she didn't like to admit it.

Just then the whole cafeteria came to silence or so it seemed as Piper entered.

_Before Piper knew it, Alex was on top of her. Straddling her hips as her mouth attacked her neck. Alex started at the base of her neck and worked her way up, creating a trail of wet kisses along her skin. _

_A moan escaped Piper's lips as she felt Alex's hands suddenly underneath her t-shirt and cupping her breasts through her bra. She was immediately turned at this. God, how she had missed her. It had been a very long, dry month for her. While Alex had been away, Piper had tried to distract herself by working and hanging out with Polly most nights. But it had not been the same. She had hated coming home to an empty bed. Her nights had not been the same with out Alex. _

_She had tried to get the edge off by masturbating. But her touch didn't seem to work anymore on her cunt. It only craved Alex and her expert touch. _

_Leaning forward, Piper cupped her hands on the side of Alex's face and pulled her into a passionate kiss. Their mouths immediately parting open for one another and allowing their tongues to slip in. Their tongues slivered and twisted like snakes together. _

_Alex pushed her hips into Piper's as she continued to grope at her breasts. Her fingers slid underneath the underwire and lightly touched the soft skin. Piper immediately purred into Alex's mouth at this. Alex couldn't help but smile at Piper reaction. She loved the response she could get from her by just one simple touch. _

_She repeated the action, lightly rubbing the pads of her fingers against her breasts. She repeated the action a third time, this time she moved her fingers higher until they were gently teasing the sensitive skin of Piper's nipples. _

_Not being able to take it any longer. Piper's body craved more from Alex. In one fluid motion Piper pushed Alex off of her and onto her back on the couch. Piper couldn't help but smirk at the confused look on Alex's face as this sudden change in positions. Piper, winked playfully at Alex as she continued to look up at her as she settled her self onto her hips. _

_Alex licked her lips and watched as Piper's hands went to the bottom of her t-shirt and pulled it up over her head. Piper threw it to the side, not carrying where it landed before next removing her bra. _

_"I love your titties," whispered Alex as she admired the sight before her. Alex had seen a lot of breasts in her day. But Piper's were far the best. They weren't the biggest. Or the smallest. But in their own way, they were perfect. She loved how she could fit a whole one smugly in the palm of her hand... _

Her blue eyes quickly scanned over the faces staring back at her before she turned her attention to the cafeteria line. Her heart pounded rapidly against her chest cavity as a wave of nerves washed over her. She walked slowly and lined up with a few other intimates to get food. She wasn't all that hungry as she felt her stomach twist with nausea. She hadn't eaten a proper meal in months. She didn't know if she was equipped to eat real food anymore. She had gotten so use to the so-called food they served in the SHU. She was afraid that her body would reject anything she put in her mouth now.

However, she knew she had to try to eat. She hadn't gotten to see her appearance in the mirror yet. But she assumed by the way her uniform hung off her and could feel the sharpness of her pelvis bone sticking out, that she had lost some weight while away.

That was the last thing though that she was worried about as she approached the counter. She nervously looked up and locked eyes with Norma. She was glade that the mute woman was serving today. She didn't have the strength to make small talk.

Norma met Piper's eye and gave her a kind gentle smile as she filled her tray with food.

Piper tried to smile back but she found she had lost the ability to do so. It had been so long since she had last smiled, her facial muscles didn't remember how to turn up. The most she could do was frown.

The two woman continued to stare at one another for a second longer before Piper took the food tray and down casted her gaze. The tray felt surprisingly heavy in her hands. She could feel her stomach twist again with nausea as she looked down at the food. It was beans and what looked like meat loaf. She nervously chewed down on her bottom lip as she continued to stare down at the tray before looking up and once again around the room.

She felt completely lost as she took in some familiar faces and some new ones. It felt like the first day all over again. She wasn't sure where she was suppose to sit. She couldn't possible sit at her old table, the suburbs table. She didn't belong there anymore. Especially after Alex had made it clear she didn't want her anywhere near her. But that was five months ago. She didn't know where she stood with Alex. But she wasn't going to allow herself to find out. She would stay true to Alex's wishes and stay the _fuck_ away from her. Just like she had told her too.

There was always the ghetto table she could sit at, with Taystee, Poussey and Black Cindy. But she wasn't so sure. She didn't know where she belonged anymore in Litchfield.

As she pondered these thoughts, she was caught off guard as someone bumped into from behind, causing her tray to go flying across the cafeteria.

"Watch the fuck where ya going, College!" cried Pennsatucky, a sly smirk appearing on the much smaller woman's face as Piper slowly turned around to look at her. The last time Piper had laid eyes on her had been when she had been on the receiving end of her fist. She had heard that Doggett had lived. But it still felt so surreal to her now, seeing the meth head in the flesh. Anxiety and fear rocked through her body as she continued to look down at Pennsatucky.

She was no longer that strong woman, who had attacked Pennsatucky. She wasn't sure who she was. But she didn't have an ounce of fight left in her it seemed as she continued to stare at Pennsatucky, who was still smirking at her. The insane Jesus lover seemed to be waiting for her to do something. "What? Got no bite anymore College?" asked Pennsatucky towards her. She was trying to edge Piper on.

A few people were suddenly on their feet and ready to act if Pennsatucky made a move for Piper. There was still people that had her back in the place. Even if Piper didn't know it yet. She still had friends. People who cared for her.

The cafeteria was deadly silent as everyone waited to see what Piper would do to Pennsatucky. They all knew she had beaten the shit out of her at Christmas. They were all curious to see the Wild Chapman in action.

However, before anything could else happen, Mendez who was on duty interrupted the confrontation between the two woman. "PENNSATUCKY, KEEP ON WALKING!" he cried in a demanding voice as he place a hand roughly on Pennsatucky shoulder and gave her a small shove, making her stumble slightly. She threw a death glare in Mendez' direction before heading to where her born-again crew sat.

Mendez then turned his attention onto Chapman. He, who had seen the whole thing, knew that she wasn't to blame. Doggett was just looking to make trouble with the blonde. There was a softness to his eyes as he continued to glare at Piper for a second before he facial features hardened. "CHAPMAN, pick up your tray and take a seat!" The CO didn't raise his voice at Piper like he had with Pennsatucky but there was a coldness to it. He couldn't afford to be seen as soft. He had a hard ass image to maintain. After everything that had happen with Daya, he had been trying to play up his image as the bad cop.

Piper could feel her eyes brimming with tears as she nodded her head at Mendez. Her entire body seemed to shake as she walked towards where her tray lay just a few feet away. She slowly bent down and picked it up like she was told too. She kept her eyes down, not daring to look at anyone else as she once again rose to her feet. Her hands were shaking rapidly by this point as she turned towards the closest table to her, which was luckily empty.

She could still feel everyone's eyes burning into her as she dropped the tray onto the table. A immediate ringing sound echoed through out the room. Her vision blurred slightly as the tears threatened to fall. She needed to get out before she completely broke down in front of everyone.

Piper, then bolted like a jack rabbit from the cafeteria before anyone could say another word to her.

_Piper smiled sheepishly up at Alex as she climbed again on top of her. They were still on her couch. Piper was fully naked now as Alex's mouth bit, licked and sucked it's way down her stomach and towards her cunt. _

_Her tongue swirled around her belly button, as she rubbed her fingers teasingly into her folds. She wanted to hear Piper moan for it. For her to beg for it. _

_Piper arched her back at Alex's light touch on her. Her blue eyes filled with desire as Alex continued to touch at her. Teasing her with those soft feathery touches of her fingers and mouth. Piper let out a groan as Alex all the sudden removed her hand from her. She looked up at Alex, her face frowning in confusion. _

_Alex just smirked at Piper, not saying a word as she began to kiss the inside of her thigh. Placing open mouth kisses from the crook of Piper's knee and move upwards to her centre. _

_"Please baby...please," moaned out Piper as she once again felt Alex's hands on her pussy. She wanted her inside of her now. She wanted to feel her fingers in her. Her mouth on her pussy. It had been too long since she had been touched like this. She craved sex. She craved Alex. _

_Alex locked eyes with Piper as she nuzzled her nose into her bikini line, causing the side of cheek to brush against Piper's bare pussy. She could tell that the young woman was hot and bothered. "Tell me how much you want it," whispered Alex as she suddenly went down on Piper. Licking her from ass hole to cit. _

_"I want it," whispered Piper, her voice quivering as a warmth of pleasure suddenly filled her stomach as Alex's tongue teasingly touched her cit. _

_"But how much?" asked Alex as she blew hot air onto her cunt before began to trail hot kisses along her other leg. "I want to hear you beg for it baby." _

_"I want it so fucking bad," moaned Piper through breathes. Her heart was beating rapidly against her chest in excitement. Her body was on edge with every touch of Alex's Piper. "I want it so fucking bad, that I am going to burst. "_

_"Your going to burst, uh?" smirked Alex as she lifted her head and locked eyes with Piper. _

_Piper let out a frustrated moan. She wasn't good at talking dirty and Alex knew it. "Just fucking FUCK ME!" _

_"Aww, there it is!" chuckled Alex as she leaned forwarded to capture Piper's lips in a kiss. "That Piper temper that I love!" _

_Piper just rolled her eyes in response at this. _

_There was brief moment of silence between the two woman before Alex's mouth began to feverishly kiss Piper's neck and slide two fingers into Piper's wetness. Oh, she would fucking fuck her alright, thought Alex to herself and she continued to push her fingers rapidly in and out of Piper. _

Alex held her breath as she rose to her feet like a few other had and watched as Pennsatucky harassed Piper. She was overcome with sudden rage towards the meth head. Hadn't Piper suffered enough because of her? Couldn't she just leave her alone for fucking once? thought Alex bitterly to herself as she continued to watch the scene unfolded in front of her. Her heart broke for Piper. She was clearly scared and confused on what was going on. Alex had a sudden urge to go over to where Piper stood and punch Pennsatucky in the face before wrapping her arms protectively around Piper and never letting her go. But before she could do such a thing, Pornstache was there, breaking them up.

She desperately wanted to call out Piper's name and tell her to join them. She had wanted to do that since she arrived. But the usual, confidence Alex Vause had been too overcome with nerves. She didn't know where Piper and her stood together. Her green eyes never left Piper as she picked up her abandoned food tray and dropped it loudly onto the table. She watched as Piper then bolted out of the cafeteria.

"Fuck," cursed Alex under her breath as she dropped down in her seat again. She pushed her glasses up onto her head and rubbed her face in frustration. She was torn between going after her or staying. She could feel the other's at the table, eyes on her but she ignored them. "Fuck!" she cursed again, this time more loudly.

* * *

More to come soon! Thanks for reading and please leave a review!

Julie


	7. Chapter 7

Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

Not too happy with this chapter but here it is anyways!

Enjoy!

* * *

Piper could feel the bile rising in her throat as she ran to the nearest bathroom stall and sank to her knees.

She was sick to her stomach a moment later. She threw up the mysterious food she'd last ate at SHU. Seeing Pennsatucky had brought back all those memories from that night.

A collections of thoughts raced through her mind as she continued to hovered over the toilet bowl. She kept on thinking about Pennsatucky on that night. The way her body had flew a couple of feet into the air, landing with a thud in the snow. How hand had hit bone and flesh. How she'd barely thought about what she was doing as she pounded away at her face. She'd been scared for her life when Pennsatucky had come at her. That crazed look in her eye.

She squeezed her eyes shut as another wave of nausea rocked through her. Her arms hugged the bowl as she vomited again. A fresh new set of memories bubbled into her mind.

It was like fog clearing. She suddenly seeing something, she couldn't before.

_As she lay down in the snow. Allowing her entire body to numb, she could hear the sound of the door being opened and closed. _

_There then came the sound of pounding footsteps crunching in the snow. Someone was coming. Someone was coming towards her and Pennsatucky. She knew she had to get up. She had to hide. It was probably Healy. She needed to get away before they sent her to Max. _

_But she couldn't get up. Her body wasn't responding to her brain. GET UP! GRAB THE SCREWDRIVER AND RUN! But no matter how many times her brain screamed at her, she couldn't. She didn't have the strength to get up. She was tired of fighting. _

_Pennsatucky had taken it out of her. _

_She was tired of being little Miss. Piper Chapman. Who can do no wrong. Who went to Smith and who was suppose to be getting married and having babies! She didn't want to be that Piper Chapman anymore. _

_She was gone, forever. _

_She had no one on her side. _

_"TIFFANY!" cried out a voice. She tried to look over to where it had come from before she could, white hot pain spread through her body like a wild fire. Someone was standing over her. She could make out a shadowy figure but she couldn't tell who it was. _

_She tried to open her mouth to say something but before she could, she felt another stab of pain in the pit of her stomach. _

_She had been stabbed again. _

* * *

"What?" cried out Alex, as she looked up and locked eyes with Nicky, who was glaring at her.

"What the fuck are you still sitting here for? Vause go after your girl!" asked Nicky as she gestured towards the door. Piper clearly wasn't in good shape and needed someone. She had seen Alex break down over Piper multiples times during the last five months. She was clearly still in love with her. So why was she just sitting there now like nothing had just happened?

Alex's eyebrows flew up at this. "Piper isn't my girl!" She voice was soft as she spoke these words. She hated to admit it but it was true. She was in love with Piper but she wasn't her girl. She had let her go. She had no right to run to her. Like she had told Piper not too.

Piper had her fiancé to run to.

She didn't need Alex.

Nicky just stared at Alex in disbelief that she was just going to sit there and act like she didn't have feelings for Piper.

"Just let her be," squeaked Morello, placing a hand on Nicky's shoulder. Her browns eyes looking uneasy between the two woman. She was speaking about Nicky to Alex. Nicky needed to back off of Alex.

Alex glanced over at Morello and frowned slightly. Her green eyes suddenly filled with tears as reality set in. This had been the day she had been waiting for, for Piper to come back from SHU. But it still didn't change anything. Not yet that was. Piper was still not hers. She still wasn't sitting beside her now. Laughing at one of Nicky's lame jokes. Her hand slightly brushing against her thigh underneath the table.

Alex still felt alone. More _fucking_ alone then she ever felt before.

Quickly blinking away her tears, she dropped her gaze onto her untouched food.

Piper was so close to her but so far at the same time. She didn't know what to do.

* * *

Piper tried to avoid looking into the mirror as she splashed cold water on her face. She felt shaky and feverish suddenly. She just wanted to go back to bed. But not her bunk or her cell in SHU. But her bed that she shared with Larry, in Manhattan.

She didn't care about the Larry part but she just wanted to be back in her own comfortable queen bed with it crisp white sheets and fluffy pillows. She missed her home.

Tears filled her eyes as the image of Larry entered her mind. She hadn't talked to him since that day. Five months ago. She wondered what happened with him. Did he still have her things? Was he still writing? Had he written another article about their relationship, this time the down fall of it?

If she allowed herself to think about him for long, she could convince herself that she missed him, a little. Larry was a good guy. And had been her rock, safe haven for a good four years.

Brushing away the tears, she shook Larry from her mind. She didn't know if she would see him again. Like everything else, she didn't know where they stood. Their last words had been spoken with anger but so much time had passed since then. So much had changed. But yet at the same time, nothing had really changed. She was still here. Still locked away and alone.

Piper stayed in the bathroom, until she knew that lunch was over. She was afraid of facing everyone. She was afraid of seeing Pennsatucky again. She knew that this was just the start of something else. She just had to figure out, what she wanted to do about it. She needed to find herself again.

A few people came into the bathroom but she kept her head down. She was like a scared animal being surrounded. She didn't know what to do. Or how to interact anymore. The inmates just gave her small looks of sympathy but left her alone for the most part. Which she was grateful for.

After leaving the bathroom, Piper headed towards the grounds. She was headed towards the track. She was suddenly craving fresh air. To be outside and somehow feel free while still being locked up in Litchfield.

The sun was warm on her skin as she stepped out onto the track. It was comforting to be outside again after being kept inside for so long. She wondered if this is what bears felt like after months of hibernation? The world seemed so different now then from when she had went in. It was so surreal to her.

Piper just stood there for what seemed like hours but in reality it had only bee a couple of minutes as she took in the green grass and the muddy track. It smelt like it had rained over the night.

She couldn't describe quite what she was feeling at the moment. Relief. Joy. carefree. The list went on. The only thing she knew for sure was that the more she continued to stand there, breathing in the spring air, the less she felt troubled. Standing there, was clearing her mind. It hadn't gotten totally rid of her problems but she some how felt normal at that second. And that was saying something.

She found herself crying suddenly. Silent tears rushing down her cheeks. But they weren't out of pain or anger or fear for once. They were in an odd way...tears of happiness.

Piper Chapman after months in solitaire was finally at peace, in away.

* * *

The rec room was busy like it usually was after dinner before the final count. Alex was sitting between Big Boo and Nicky playing Scrabble, but she found it hard to concentrate. Her mind was on Piper. She hadn't seen her since lunch. The blonde hadn't shown up for dinner. Watson had said she had seen out on the track. But other then that, no one had really laid eyes on her.

And no one could blame her. She had a lot of readjusting to do after being locked away in a cement box for five months. But Alex, hoped it wouldn't be for too long. She wasn't a patient person really. And just wanted her Piper back.

Nicky at lunch had told her just to give her time. That she would eventually come around. Alex wanted to believer her friend. But a part of her wasn't sure. Piper seemed changed, for the worse this time. And how could she not be? She had spent the last five months not being in contact with anyone but the guards. And then all the sudden she is thrown back into the loudness and crowdedness that came with prison.

Alex let out a disappointing sigh as she turned her attention away from the game and looked around the room. Like always, she was suddenly overcome with sadness. She just wanted to see Piper and to tell her how much she wanted her in her life. That she didn't care about Larry or anyone else in Piper's life. She just wanted to be with the woman, no matter what.

And just like that she appeared before her. If she believed in God or any faith, she would had thought it was a sign from above. But in reality, it was just random timing that Piper decided to show her face in the room.

_Piper stood at her apartment window, a cup of tea in her hand as she continued to gaze out onto the quiet street below. It was night time now. It had began to snow again. A cold wind whistled through the near by trees, making the glass shake slightly. _

_Piper loved winter days like these. When the world was silent and still. It was comforting. Winter was always a magical time for her. Every since she was a kid it had been like that. She could spend hours just watching the snow fall. _

_She was lost in her thoughts, she didn't hear the person approach from behind. _

_A small cry of surprise escaped from her mouth as she felt Alex's arms suddenly wrap themselves around her and kiss the side of her neck. "Alex, don't do that," she whispered trying to sound pissed off but was failing to hid the happiness from her voice. _

_Piper didn't have to see Alex's face to know she was smiling at her. She then felt Alex's mouth on her skin again. This time it was deeper. She could feel the edges of Alex's teeth biting down on the skin of her neck. _

_"How long have I been out for?" asked Alex's raspy voice suddenly into Piper's ear. The two of them were suppose to be a dinner by now. But they had missed their reservation. After their brief love making session on the couch, Alex had passed out from exhaustion. Piper hadn't had the heart to wake her girlfriend. She didn't mind not going out to some fancy restaurant for their first Valentine Day. She was perfectly happy staying in with Alex._

_"Four hours, I guess," murmured Piper, her eyes looking up and meeting Alex's in the reflection of the window. _

_"Why didn't you wake me?" asked Alex as she nuzzled her face into Piper's neck again. "We missed dinner.."_

_"I don't care," whispered back Piper as she closed her eyes and leaned back into Alex. _

No one had seemed to notice her yet as she slowly stepped through the doors and entered the crowded rec room. The room buzzed with conversation all around her. It made her nervous. Like she was suddenly surrounded by a swarm of bees, who if she made the wrong move would sting her.

However, that didn't seem to be the case as Piper slowly made her way further into the room. She was looking every where and at everyone. As if taking it all in for the first time. Piper chewed on her lower lip as she wrapped her arms tightly around her thin frame, as if protecting herself from an invisible threat.

Just then someone called out her name, loudly and clearing. Stopping her dead in her tracks. She felt like she had been caught. Her attention immediately went to the caller.

"CHAPMAN!" called out Nicky again towards her. She waved her hand at her, indicating for her to join them.

Piper's throat suddenly went dry. Her mouth felt like sandpaper against her tongue as she locked eyes with Nicky. Panic coursed through her body as she gazed on at the people seated around her. She could feel her pulse racing with fear as she took in those green eyes, staring back at her.

They were the same blue green eyes that haunted her in her dreams.

A cold sweat ran down her back as she continued to stand there like a deer caught in headlights. She didn't know what to do. Her feet seemed to be glued to the floor, grounding her to the spot. She didn't know if she should run for it or go towards the table.

She closed her eyes suddenly as she began to hyperventilate. She was having a panic attack. She had never had one before that she knew of. She was finding it suddenly hard to breath, to force air into her lungs. Her hands clenched into her sides, gasping at the material of her uniform. There was a sob caught in her throat. She needed out.

_The two women stood at the window for a moment or two longer before breaking apart. Piper turned around to face Alex. "Are you hungry?" _

_Alex smirked slightly at this, "A little," she admitted. She hadn't ate anything since her flight. _

_"Good! Because I ordered pizza!" replied Piper, a smile appearing on her face as she continue to look up at the older woman. _

_Alex groaned slightly at this. This was not how she had wanted their first Valentine Day to be. She had wanted to spoil Piper with a lavish dinner and in the bedroom afterwards. She hadn't wanted Piper to spend the night inside her small apartment with her sleep on her couch and pizza for dinner. _

_"What's wrong?" asked Piper suddenly in a panic. Did Alex not like pizza? The blonde's eyebrows fussed together in worry as she continued to search Alex's face for an answer. _

_Alex ran a hand through her hair as she looked briefly away from Piper before turning back to her and smiling slightly. "It's nothing...It's just this isn't how I wanted you to spend Valentine Day...I wanted to spoil you rotten..."Her voice dropped ever so slightly as her green eyes bored into Piper's with desire. _

_"Well, that can still be arranged," whispered Piper, matching Alex's tone. "The night is still young and you haven't seen what I got for dessert yet..." She then leaned forwarded and pressed her lips passionately to Alex's for a moment before suddenly breaking apart. _

_Leaving Alex standing there dumbfounded as she walked away and into the kitchen. _

Alex just glared at Nicky as she sat there looking smug after drawing the attention of Piper towards them. She wanted Piper to come on her own account. Not because of Nicky yelling at her from across the room.

"What Vause? I am only trying to help you out," explained Nicky, looking amused at her friend.

Alex just continued to glare at her for second before turning her attention once again to Piper, who was still standing in the same spot she had been, over a moment ago. For a second the brunette thought she was going to bolt like she had at lunch. But then realization set in. Piper looked to be in some sort of pain. "I think she's having a panic attack!" spoke Alex in a whisper as her eyes continued to bore into Piper with worry.

Both Nicky and Big Boo were silent at this.

Alex then slowly rose to her feet and began to make her way over to where Piper was. And in that moment, it didn't matter if Piper had chosen Larry over her. It didn't matter what she had said to the blonde at Christmas, to stay away and never come running to her. That didn't matter to Alex now as she enclosed the distant between her and Piper.

All that mattered to her was helping a very distressed looking Piper.

"Pipes," she whispered in a tender voice, drawing the women's attention on to her. Alex was just a foot away from Piper now.

Piper's eyes were wide and filled with tears as they latched onto Alex's.

Alex's heart sank at the look of lost and fear edged on her face. She had never seen her like this. It scared her. What had SHU done to her? thought Alex as she took a small step closer to Piper. She didn't want to overwhelm her.

"Pipes," she whispered again as she crooked her head slightly to the side. She desperately wanted to put her arms around the blonde's body and kiss her pain away. She hated seeing Piper this way. Hurting and struggling. Alex pursed her lips slightly as her eyes continued to study Piper's face. She still hadn't said one word and it was driving her crazy. She just needed to hear Piper's voice. To know that she was okay. However, Piper remained silent. Not one word escaped her lips.

Not sure what to do, Alex then slowly reached out and brought a hand to Piper's. The pads of her fingers gently brushing up against Piper's bare skin. Her response though wasn't one that Alex was expecting.

Piper flinched at Alex's touch on her skin. It was like a spark of electricity coursing through her body. Her eyes filled suddenly with hot tears as she pulled her hand away from Alex and took a step back. Her touch had triggered something within her that even she couldn't explain.

A hurt look crossed Alex's face at this. She hadn't meant to cause Piper any further distress but clearly she had just made the situation worse.

Piper had herself back up against the wall and her fists raised as if she was in a boxing ring. Her face wore an icy expression on it as she continued to look on at Alex.

She no longer seemed to be there.

Alex bit down on her lip, wondering what to do next. Piper was acting like a cornered animal. There was cold fear in the depths of the those blue eyes. And she had put it there. Alex cursed herself at this.

As the two women continued to stare at one another, the red light suddenly went on in the hallway, casting an eerie glow on them. It was time for the evening count.

_After eating two slices of pizza off of Piper's thrift store plates, Alex was hungry for something other then food. She placed the empty plate onto the coffee table before turning towards Piper, who was seated beside her on the couch. _

_"All finished?" she asked looking up from the magazine she had been flipping through and over at the older woman. A wave of excitement rolling over her as she took in the darkness of Alex's eyes on her. _

_"All finished," murmured Alex in a low seductive voice. _

_The two of them continued to stare at each other for a moment longer before Alex was suddenly pulling Piper on top of her. Her mouth crashing passionately against hers as her hands went immediately to the knot of Piper's bath robe she was wearing. _

_Piper, pressed her hips into Alex's as she straddled her lap. She kissed her back with the same force as Alex was. She could taste the pizza on Alex's lips as the kiss deepened but she didn't care. It made it even more of a turn on for her. The two women continued to kiss like this until Alex broke apart from Piper suddenly and let out a gasp. _

_Piper opened her eyes immediately at this and searched Alex's face. "What's wrong?" she asked suddenly, trying to settle the rapid beating of her heart. _

_"It's nothing," whispered Alex tenderly, noticing the worry in the young woman's eyes. "It's just..." She then gestured to Piper's torso. _

_Piper looked down at her girlfriend in puzzlement before following her gaze onto her middle section. Her robe was now open and revealing the red satin corset and matching g-string she had on underneath. She blushed slightly with embarrassment. She had forgot she had put on the sexy number. It had suppose to have been a surprise for Alex when she woke up. "Do you like?" she asked, suddenly feeling shy as she looked back up at Alex. _

_Alex held her gaze for a second longer before fussing her mouth to hers. "Fuck yeah," she replied in between kisses. _

_Alex Vause was always a sucker for a woman in red. _

The sound of chairs scratching the floor, filled the room as everyone pushed back their chairs and rose to their feet. Everyone was heading back to their dorms. However, neither Alex or Piper made a move.

Alex didn't care about being late for count. She only cared about Piper at that moment. She couldn't leave her like this. Looking so lost. Looking so _fucking _scared.

"Chapman, you okay?" asked Nicky coming up behind the two women and coming to stand next to Alex. She had seen the confrontation between the two women earlier and was concerned. She had seen a lot of people return to SHU a little messed up in the head but nothing quite like this. Her brown eyes bore into Piper's before glancing over at Alex.

The two of them exchanged looks before turning their attention onto Piper, who still had her hands raised in front of her.

"NICHOLS. VAUSE. CHAPMAN! LET'S GO!" cried Caputo, suddenly at the trio as he appeared in the doorway of the rec room.

All three women jumped at hearing his sudden deep voice. Nicky and Alex just glared at the CO with hatred.

Piper, who didn't need a second warning, took this as her opportunity to run. She bolted from the room and down the hallway without a second glance at Alex, Nicky or Caputo.

* * *

So yeah, this isn't one of those happy Alex and Piper reunion stories. They both have a lot of shit to get through in the next couple of chapters. But, you will have to wait and see!

Thanks for reading and please review!

Julie


	8. Chapter 8

Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

Your reviews, guys are amazing to read! I'm glad to see that people are enjoying where I am taking the characters.

This one's another long one. Kinda got carried away with the flashback. But you guys I know will enjoy it! ;-)

* * *

Piper retreated further and further into herself as the days passed. She'd hardly spoken a word since returning back to the Camp. People had tried to talk to her but she wasn't into it.

She just wanted to be alone.

In all honesty, she was nervous. The other inmates made her nervous. She didn't know quite how to describe it. But after spending so much time on her own, she couldn't handle loud noises and the continuous chatter that surrounded the prison. It seemed where ever she went there was noise.

Whether in the cafeteria or in the rec room or even in the library, there was always some sort of noise, that sent a nervous tick over her.

There had been noise at SHU. But she had learnt how to tune that out. Soon the loud screams and cries of the other intimates locked up had become her own. Everyone's pain had become apart of her own thoughts and feelings down there.

But back here in the Camp, it was different. She couldn't make it a part of her. Every voice, every sound had a face to it here. She saw the person, as well as the sound. The booming laughter of Nicky. The squeak of Morello's voice. The natural loudness of Taystee's voice. The thickness of Red's accent with certain words. The quick speaking Spanish of Gloria.

She couldn't separate it from the origin.

And this scared her.

It made Piper realise she was only a small part of a even bigger web of people.

So she walked around the prison like a zombie. Trying not to raise unwanted attention to herself. She didn't want anyone's attention. Not Alex's. Not Healy's. Not Pennsatucky.

She just wanted to be alone.

But you can't always get what you want.

Piper arrived at breakfast early that day. She wasn't hungry but she knew she had to eat something to make it through the day. She hadn't regained her appetite since SHU. But she found she'd picked up a talent of swallowing small amounts of food of whatever it was. Just whatever she needed to survive.

Piper always made sure to arrive just when the kitchen was opening. Before anyone else was up. For the most part, avoiding the crowds. The only others who were early birds, where the Golden Girls. But they didn't bother Piper as much. They kept to themselves, just like her.

There had been a point in Piper's life when she had been afraid to be alone. To not have someone to depend on. After the reality of walking out on Alex all those years ago, Piper hadn't liked herself alone. She didn't like her own company. So she'd seek out others, until she met Larry. He was someone she could see herself with for the rest of her life. He had been someone who would always be there for her no matter what. And he had proven that too her. He'd been supported about the whole prison thing.

But just like Alex had pointed out to her, all those months ago. She was terrified to be alone. And she had soon realized that while being in prison. She couldn't stand getting through the whole ordeal without having someone to touch, someone to love. And that's what Alex had been for. They were only being human together. But old feelings had come back, for both of them.

And like always, Piper had acted out and panicked and chosen Larry over Alex. She had been scared that she would lose him. The idea of him. Alex had pointed out her bullshit to her. Piper had never been single for a long time. Ever since the age of 13, she had always had a boy on her arm or a crush of some sort. She was always attached to one person or another. Being alone, had terrified her. Having to face who she really was, terrified her.

But Piper, wasn't that Piper anymore. SHU had proven that.

Now she was more terrified to be in a room with people then to be alone and by herself. She was scared to be touched. The physical touch of another person's hand on her skin brought a cold chill over her, just thinking about it. She didn't know how she had changed so much in the last couple of months but some what she had. She was a different Piper Chapman then what she'd come in as.

"How are ya doin' blondie?" asked Red, towards Piper as she served her breakfast. Red had been watching her over the past couple of days. A lot of people had. They were all worried about her.

Piper just shrugged her shoulders. Her blue eyes barely looked up at Red's face as she took the tray from the older woman. "I'm fine," she murmured. Her voice came out flat and hoarse

Red raised one of her thin eyebrows at Piper. The Russian cook wasn't convinced. "Are ya sure?" she asked again, leaning forwarded onto the counter.

Piper nodded her head in reply, mumbling a thanks to Red before walking away. Every morning it was the same. Red would ask her the same questions and Piper would answer them in the same way.

Piper could feel Red's eyes trailing on her as she walked away from the counter and over to the farthest table away. The one that was closest to the window. Piper liked to watch as the sun rose over the trees as she picked away at her breakfast. It gave her a little sense of normality.

However, like all good things. It came to an end.

Piper's attention was on the scene outside the window, she didn't hear the person approach the table. She jumped back slightly in her seat and snapped back to reality as the sound of a tray dropping loudly in front of her.

"Good Morning, College!" spoke Pennsatucky sweetly to Piper. She was standing across from where Piper was seated. She had both her palms pressed down onto the table and was leaning into Piper. The meth head flashed her new white teeth at Piper.

Piper's face was blank of all emotion as she continue to look up at Pennsatucky.

"Mind, if I join you?" asked Pennsatucky, the smile still plastered on her face. She was acting like her and Piper were best friends.

Piper just continued to glare at Pennsatucky. Her heart was beating rapidly against her chest. She didn't know what the woman wanted but she knew it wasn't good.

"No, well thank you College!" chimed Pennsatucky before she took the seat across from Piper at the table. She took her silence as a yes.

Piper narrowed her eyes slightly as she watched as the other woman took a seat across from her and began to eat from her tray. From a distance it would look like the two woman were enjoying their breakfast together. But in reality that wasn't the case. Pennsatucky wanted something.

Piper sat ridge and alert in her seat as she continued to watch Pennsatucky, who was still smiling at her as she shoved food into her mouth. "So how have you been College? I heard you freaked out when your girlfriend touched you. What's that about? mmhm," asked the hillbilly, raising her eyebrows in curiosity at Piper.

Piper's jaw clenched into a hard line a this. The two woman were in a staring contest at this point. Piper wasn't going to allow Pennsatucky to have the satisfaction if she backed down.

"Did beating me up, punch the dyke out of you or somethin?" Doggett was once again leaning over the table into Piper. That twisted grin once again appearing on her face.

Piper flinched slightly as she felt Pennsatucky stale morning breath on her face. This just seemed to make Pennsatucky laugh in amusement.

"I ain't scared of you no more, College," stated Pennsatucky, her voice was serious now. She had gone back to eating her breakfast. "You might've attacked me at Christmas. But I ain't scared of you! You wanna know why?"

Piper didn't say anything in reply. She had a feeling that the little hillbilly would tell her no matter what she said.

"I've got God! And you still ain't got no body! " Pennsatucky paused for a second in her speech as she took a sip from her orange juice before continuing on. "My lawyer says I should thank ya. For if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have these pearly whites!" She then opened her mouth wide, flashing Piper once again with her new set of teeth.

"But this don't mean we friends or anything, College! Because we ain't." she added, her voice dropping low with bitterness. "Leanne got sent down to the psyche because of you. And that's ain't a nice place to be. I would know!" Pennsatucky's eyes glared into Piper's. She was all business once again. "You gonna pay College for what you did. Don't think this is over because it ain't!"

Pennsatucky looked on at Piper for a second longer, before reaching for her orange juice and chugging down the remainder of it. "It was nice talking to ya College!" She smiled broadly at Piper before standing up with her now empty tray and walking away from the table.

Piper continued to sit there ridge as she watched as Pennsatucky discarded her tray before leaving the cafeteria. Her blue eyes lingered on the door for a second longer, just in case to see if the hillbilly would return. Her eyes then scanned around the room. The cafeteria was still pretty empty. No one seemed to be paying attention to her. Everyone was either eating their breakfast in silence or talking quietly to their neighbour. It didn't seem like anyone had heard Pennsatucky talking to her. Or if they had they were choosing to ignore it.

Fear washed over her briefly but she brushed it away. She wouldn't let Pennsatucky get to her again. She sat there for a moment or two longer before rising to her feet. The late morning crowd was just beginning to spill into the cafeteria. Discarding her food into the garbage can, she placed the empty tray onto the top of it. She could hear the buzz of conversation around her.

She had overstayed her usual time at breakfast.

However, just as Piper bolted from the cafeteria door, she ran smack into Nicky and Alex.

_"Let's go into the bedroom," whispered Piper into Alex's ear. She was fully disrobed now as she slide off of Alex's lap and to her feet. _

_Alex smiled in response to this, as she took Piper's hand and rose to her feet. The two of them walked hand in hand towards Piper's small bedroom. _

_Pushing open the door with her free hand, Piper looked over her shoulder and smiled seductively at Alex. The bedroom was dark, except for the light of the streetlamp casting in from the window. _

_Stepping through the threshold of the bedroom, Alex suddenly pulled Piper towards her. Her hands wrapped themselves around Piper's wrists as she pinned her against the wall. Her mouth crashed hungrily against Piper's. She wanted her and badly. She bit down on her lower lip, ever so slightly before running the tip of her tongue along the edge of Piper's teeth. The kiss intensified as Alex's tongue continued to explore the inside's of Piper's mouth._

_Piper kissed Alex back with the same force and desire. Her hands flexed slightly against Alex's hold on her but she didn't fight. She desperately wanted to touch Alex's body, which was pressed up against her own. But she found being restraint was even more sexier. She loved when Alex controlled her. Piper captured Alex's lips again and parted them with her own. She kissed her with unchecked need. Drawing her tongue into her mouth before sucking on her bottom lip. The edge of her teeth brushing up slightly against it. _

_Piper could feel herself getting wet as Alex continued to assault her mouth. Her need for Alex was astonishing. It didn't seem how many times Alex took of a hold of her like this, she never got tired of it. She always desired more. Craved more of this dark haired beauty before her. _

_They continued to kiss for a moment or two longer before breaking apart breathily. Alex pressed her forehead against Piper's, looking deep into her blue eyes. "I love you in red," her voice was low and raspy. _

_Piper's heart beat raced with anticipation of what was to come next. "Fuck me," she moaned towards Alex. Her body was in need to be touched, to be caressed, to be fucked like no tomorrow. _

_A sly smile appeared on Alex's face in the dark. She licked her full lips as she continued to stare at Piper. She would fuck her, alright, she thought as she slowly released Piper's wrists and began to travel her fingers up Piper's bare arms, sending a trail of goosebumps as she went. She continued to tease Piper with these feather light touches until the blonde couldn't stand it anymore. _

_Alex , slowly began to kiss the side of Piper's neck at the same time as she interlocked her finger's with hers and brought her hands up to her shoulders. Once again pinning Piper down. __Alex's mouth worked it's way along Piper's jaw line before finding the softness of Piper's lips again. She kissed her softly at first before deepening it. _

_Their mouths evaporated one another as their tongues twisted together and Alex's hands slid down Piper's sides and rested them on her breasts. Her hand roughly touched her through the satin of the corset. She did this for a moment longer before sliding her fingers underneath the top. The pads of her fingers brushed lightly against the sensitive skin of Piper's nipples. A low whimper escaped from the back of Piper's throat at this._

_Alex was driving her crazy with desire. _

_Another moan of pleasure escaped from her lips as Alex repeated the movement. her nipples hardening in response. Piper arched her back, thrusting her chest out; deepening Alex's touch. _

_Alex grasped a hold of Piper's waist as her mouth began to attack the side of her neck, again. She licked the sweat off of her neck as she found that sweet spot just above her collarbone. Piper's hips flexed into Alex's as she threw her head back, giving her better excess her exposed neck. _

_Piper's eyes were closed as her lips slightly opened, breathing deeply as she let Alex's touch take over her. A warm feeling grew in the pit of her stomach and spread through out her entire body. Every nerve in her body was on edge as Alex continued to tease her with her touch. _

_Alex's left hand continued to play with Piper's breast, her other slid underneath the waist band of Piper's g-string. The pads of her fingers roaming over the soft hair that lined the skin of her navel._

_Their mouths soon found each other once again. Crashing together with hunger, as Alex's hands found their way to Piper's back and inched their way upwards. She then slowly undid the red ribbon that tied up the back of the corset. Once the top was loose enough, Alex pulled it off over Piper's head, revealing her bare breasts. _

_Alex pushed her pelvis into Piper's, pressing her further against the wall. Her hands cupped her breasts, roughly pushing them into her palms. Her fingers pulled and twisted at her hardened nipples, making then lengthen further. _

_Piper let out a shudder breath as this as she closed her eyes and rested the back of her head against the bedroom wall. She body was practically melting by this point. She didn't no how much longer she could take it. Alex smiled slightly at the affect she was having on Piper. _

_Her lips trailed down her bare torso, nibbling at the skin as she went. She was leaving little bite marks but she didn't care. She wanted to mark Piper as her own. She was all hers. And no one else's. _

_Alex then slid both of her hands down Piper's sides, gently caressing the skin. Her mouth latched it's self onto on of Piper's nipples. She sucked and flicked the harden numb back and forth with her tongue. _

_Piper moaned again in response to Alex's touch. She could feel her wetness sipping into the material of her panties. Her pussy wanted some attention. Piper flexed her hips into Alex. Rubbing the front of herself against Alex's jeaned thigh. A warmth filled her at this. She didn't think she would make it much longer. _

_"Please Alex," she begged in a whisper. She wanted Alex to take her, there and then. No mercy. She wanted to be fucked. _

_Alex couldn't help but chuckle at Piper's whimper. The girl was clearly going mad. Figuring it was time, Alex suddenly hooked her thumbs underneath the thin piece of fabric that held up the g-strip and roughly pushed it down Piper's hips. Her teeth then nibbled down on Piper's nipple, making her scream out in ecstasy before trailing open mouth kisses down her stomach. As her mouth made it's way down, Alex dropped slowly to her knees. Her hands continued to push the g-string down Piper's legs. _

_Piper automatically lifted her left leg, giving Alex's excess to her cunt. "Easy there," whispered Alex, as she looked up at Piper amused at her eagerness. _

_Alex wrapped her hand around Piper's thigh, holding the leg up as her other rested on Piper's right knee. She kissed the small patch of pubic hair that covered Piper's pussy before licking at her. She licked at the wetness that was already dripping from it. Knowing that Piper wouldn't be lasting very long now, she went straight to work. She blew hot air against her opening before stretching her lips over the entire cunt. _

_The tip of her tongue sliding slightly into Piper before pulling out. She repeated this movement, before she felt Piper's hips buckle against her. Taking this as her cue, Alex took her hand which rested on Piper's knee and slid it underneath of her. She then slid the tip of her pinkie finger into Piper's ass hole at the same time as she slid two finger's into Piper's slit. Her mouth then began to work on her enlarged cit. _

_Piper's body was on fire as desire raided off of her. Her eyes were closed tightly shut as her mouth hung open. Her hands were pressed up against the wall for support as her hips flexed against Alex's mouth. _

_Her orgasm wasn't far behind now. _

_"Baby," moaned Piper into the darken bedroom. Her breathing was laboured as her heart continued to beat like a race horse against her chest. _

_Alex deepened her touch on Piper. She lips kissed, licked and sucked at Piper's pussy as her fingered continued to move within her. Her digits curled slightly as they scratched repeatedly at Piper's g-spot. Alex wanted her to come wetly and loud. She wanted to make Piper scream. _

_"AAHHHHHH!" cried out Piper as her hands moved away from the wall and grabbed at Alex's hair. She pushed Alex's mouth further against her. She needed more. She needed so fucking more. "AAHHHH ALEX! FUCK YES! FUCKKKK" Her insides clenched at Alex's fingers. Her cit pulsed. Pleasure washed over every nerve in her body as she climaxed. _

_Alex traveled a series of soft kisses over Piper's now very sensitive pussy as she pulled her fingers out of her. She licked at Piper's juices that coated them. A smug look was on her face as she took in the dishevel Piper. She had done her job. And had done it well. _

_Piper slid her body down the wall and to the floor. It was there Alex wrapped her arms around the younger woman and pulled her to her chest. She pressed a kiss to her temple. Her heart was still beating rapidly, noted Alex as she continued to hold Piper, until her breathing slowed. _

_"Happy Valentine's Day Kid," whispered Alex into Piper's ear as she brushed her hair out of her face. _

_"Mmm," moaned back Piper as she closed her eyes and nuzzled her face into Alex's neck. _

Alex and Nicky saw Piper coming before she saw them.

"Piper," spoke Alex as she reached out for Piper before she crashed fully into them.

Piper's blue eyes widened in surprise as she took a step back suddenly. Her arm burned slightly from where Alex's hand had been just a moment ago. Her eyes looked rapidly back and forth between the two women before her.

"You okay?" asked Alex, her voice filling with sudden concern as she took in the sight of her former lover. Piper was pale and sickly looking. She looked like she had just seen a ghost or something. This was the first time that Alex had really seen Piper since her return. Every since that night in the rec room, Piper had been doing a good job of avoiding her or anyone for that matter.

Piper shook her head rapidly as Alex's eyes continued to bore into her. She had her arms wrapped around her torso. She had a sudden urge to tell Alex about Pennsatucky's threat earlier to her but she then noticed that Nicky was standing close by. Piper's eyes darkened slightly as she took in the appearance of the other woman, as if seeing her for the first time.

Nicky smiled kindly at her, "How's it going Chapman?"

"I'm fine!" whispered Piper suddenly. "I'm fine!" she repeated as she looked over at Alex again. There was a look of desperation in her eyes but she quickly blinked it away as she thought suddenly back to that day when Alex had told her she must never come to her again. A film reel of thoughts, coursed through Piper's brain at this. She was never to come running to Alex again with her problems. Whatever it was, Alex didn't want to fucking hear them. Alex had Nicky now. She repeated these words to herself over and over until she could no longer hear the noise of the cafeteria behind her. Until she could no longer hear anything but her own voice, telling her that Alex didn't give a shit about her.

"Pipes," whispered Alex taking a step towards her and once again reaching out to touch her arm. She was scared about her. Piper clearly wasn't there anymore. The blonde was mumbling something to herself. She couldn't quite make out what it was. Her green eyes narrowed as she continued to look on at her ex with concern. "Pipes," she whispered again. Piper was scaring the hell out of her with her muttering of words. "Talk to me." she whispered, her voice was more forced this time. Her hand shook Piper's arm slightly.

Piper glared at Alex as she felt Alex's touch once again on her skin.

"I'M FINE!" screamed out Piper, suddenly at the top of her lungs in outrage as she took a step back from Alex, and came back to reality.

A look of hurt flashed across Alex's face at this. A deadly silence then fell over the cafeteria suddenly as everyone turned and watched the trio at the door.

"Don't _fucking_ touch me!" spat Piper at Alex, her voice dripping with bitterness towards the raven haired woman. She looked at Alex for a second longer before pushing passed her and Nicky and making her way out of the cafeteria.

"Fuck," swore Alex, as she turned to watch Piper leave and head down the hallway. Her eyes stung with tears. She only wanted to help Piper. Rejection and sadness coursed through her body. She tried to blink away her tears but she was failing to do so.

"Vause," whispered Nicky tenderly towards her.

"It's okay," replied Alex as she lifted a hand to wipe a stray tear from her eye. "Go eat. I'm...just going to go..." She found she couldn't finish her sentence. She didn't know where she was going to go but she knew she couldn't face breakfast at the moment. And without a second glance at Nicky, she too bolted from the cafeteria like Piper had.

She just wanted to be alone.

* * *

Please let me know what you guys think. I feel like I am taking the characters slightly out of character. But I feel like Piper would be extremely damaged after spending so much time in SHU and be confused about Alex and continued to reject her, thinking Alex doesn't lover her anymore. And Alex would only want to help Piper get through her pain.

I do have a plan for this story but let me know how I am doing anyways.

Thanks again for reading and please review!

Julie


	9. Chapter 9

Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

So this chapter takes a dark turn that I didn't really plan on it taking. But have left it. I think it's fitting in away. Warning there is a brief scene of sexual assault.

* * *

_Alex's eyes fluttered open in a panic. _

_She was alone in a strange bed. It took her a moment to remember where she was. That she was at Piper's. She didn't remember falling asleep but some where between the fucking and cuddling she must of dozed off, thought Alex to herself. She was still jetlagged. __She rolled onto her back and looked towards the window. It was snowing yet again outside. This time it was a full on blizzard. The sky was a dark grey colour and the wind rattled the window. She continued to watch the scene unfold for a second longer before her eyes searched the room again. She was alone. _

_She wondered were Piper was. _

_"Pipes!" she called out as she began to make her way out of the bed. She shivered involuntarily as her body protected against the sudden coldness. She was bare naked as she left the warmth of the bed in search to find Piper. _

_Piper had her back turned towards Alex, she was once again wearing her bathrobe. She was talking to someone on the phone. Smiling to herself, Alex crept up behind her. _

_A small yelp escaped from Piper's lips as Alex pressed her body up against her. "Hey, baby," she whispered into her ear before planting a kiss just above the blue fish tattoo on the back of her neck. _

_Piper immediately leaned back into Alex at this. "I have to go now. I will call you tomorrow, okay?" Spoke Piper softly to the other person on the line. _

_"KK...see ya then," She murmured again before lowering the phone. _

_"Who was that?" asked Alex as she nuzzled her face Piper's neck once again. _

_"My boyfriend!" _

_"Oh really!?" _

_"Yeah, didn't I tell you about Larry?" Piper had now turned herself around to face Alex and was smiling sheepishly at her. _

_Alex just raised an eyebrow at this and continued to stare at Piper for a second longer. "Don't worry. It was only Polly!" added Piper quickly ending the game. Alex then slowly slide her hands up her sides and cradled her face into her hands. There eyes were locked with one another. _

_"What kind of name is Larry?" asked the older woman, a sly smile appearing on her face. _

_Piper just shrugged and was about to say something. But before she could do so, she felt the warmth of Alex's lips on her mouth, vanishing Larry the made up boyfriend from her mind. _

"Piper!" screamed Polly into the phone.

"Polly!" cried back Piper as she cradled the phone against her ear. She could feel warm tears spilling down her cheeks but she didn't care. It just felt so good to hear her friends voice again. It had been too long.

"Pipes! How are you holding up? When did you get back? Are you okay?" asked Polly, her voice going a mile a minute as she questioned her friend's well being. She had known that Piper was in SHU. But it had been too fucking long for her liking.

"Polly," whispered Piper again into the phone, her voice cracking. She was sobbing into the receiver. A wave of emotion was coursing through her body at hearing her best friend's voice. Polly, no matter what Piper's shit, was always there for her.

"Pipes, talk to me," cried Polly into the phone. She didn't like the sound of Piper's voice. "What happened? Are you okay? Is it Supercunt again? Did she do something to you? Is it that little Jesus freak again? Do I have to drive down there and kick both of their asses for you because you know I will! Just give me the word!"

Piper couldn't help but laugh slightly at the thought of Polly coming down Litchfield and kicking both Alex's and Pennsatucky's asses. Her laugh came out funny sounding though. It was the first time she had laughed in ages. It sounded forced and dry. "I miss you," she whispered into the phone. She missed her best friend. It was in that moment, she wished that Polly was with her. To have someone other then Alex in this place of a hell hole to lean on. To have someone to once again love her.

"I miss you too, Pipes," replied back Polly. "Now, seriously, are you okay? Because you fucking don't sound like it!"

"It's...I'm...I'm...getting there," she whispered trying to chose her words carefully. She didn't want to worry Polly anymore than she already was. She knew she would report back to her family about this phone call.

Polly was silent for a second. She wasn't convinced. She had been friends with Piper for over fifteen years now. They had met when they were fifteen on the first day of school. Polly had just transferred and been new. Both Piper and Polly had been late getting to homeroom and been locked outside in the hallway together. The two of them had been together ever since. "Well, call me whenever you need someone to talk. You have people that love you and care about you, Pipes. We are all worried about you. Me. Your parents. Even Larry."

"Larry?"

"Yeah, I told him about you being locked up in shoe," explained Polly

"SHU," corrected Piper, automatically.

"Whatever," continued on Polly, "He still loves you Pipes. He has been going crazy over the last five months, not being able to talk or see you. It's been hard on all of us."

Piper just let out a sob at this. She didn't know how to respond to what her best friend had just told her. She had long put Larry passed her mind. He hadn't wanted her. But now Polly was telling her, that he still loved her. She was once again confused, as a mix of emotions ran through her.

"Look, I know things have changed between the two of you. He told me about Supercunt but I think you should give him another chance Pipes. He's a good guy," Polly's voice was soft and gentle as she spoke. She didn't want to upset Piper anymore then she already was but she still had to tell her friend that she had a great thing going with Larry and she shouldn't throw it all away for some girl. Even if she was a hot one.

"I've to go now," murmured Piper as she glanced over her shoulder. The hallway was empty. She was the only one at the phones at the moment but Polly didn't know that.

"Okay?" replied Polly, "Just think about what I said Pipes."

"I will," murmured Piper into the phone. "I love you, Pol!"

"I love you, Pipes!"

The two women then hanged up with one another. Piper quickly wiped the tears away from her eyes before stepping away from the pay phone. She suddenly felt very homesick and lonely. It had been two weeks since she had returned from SHU and she still felt out of it. She still craved to be alone most of the time. But she had gotten better or so it seemed to avoid people. Mostly a certain dark haired woman and her girlfriend.

* * *

Alex was working away in the laundry room when Piper showed up. It was the end of the day and her shift was almost over. The others had left a few minutes ago. She was just finishing up folding the clean sheets that had just came out of the dryer before heading up to the cafeteria for dinner.

"We're closed," she called out as she heard someone walk into the room.

"Oh," murmured Piper as she stopped dead in her tracks in front of Alex. The blonde stared at her with shock on her face as she clenched her laundry bag to her chest. She had thought, she'd time to drop off her laundry before it closed for the day. Her blue eyes shyly continued to look over at Alex from across the room.

Alex had stopped folding the sheet and was holding out her hand to take Piper's bag. "Here, give me," she whispered, her raspy voice sending a chill down Piper's spine.

Piper frowned slightly at Alex's hand. She was suddenly unsure. She'd hoped that Alex wouldn't be down here when she came to drop off her dirty clothes. She had been wrong.

"Pipes," Alex whispered, her voice was tender and soft like she was speaking to a small child.

Again, Piper hesitated for a moment as she continued to stare at Alex, nervously. She bit slightly on her bottom lip before taking a timid step towards her and handed over the bag. She handed it over slowly, like it was her most treasured procession that Alex was demanding her to give over.

Alex gave Piper a small smile in return, letting her know she wouldn't hurt her as she took the bag.

Piper continued to stand there, not sure whether to go or not as she watched as Alex bent over the table behind her and wrote out a ticket for her. Her eyes continued to trail the woman's movements as she then tore the ticket in half and attached a piece of it to the bag before placing it with the rest of the laundry that would be done tomorrow morning.

"It should be ready by tomorrow," spoke Alex as she came towards her, and handed her the other piece of the ticket. She would need it when she came to pick up her fresh laundry bag.

As the women's fingers brushed up against one another at this exchange, a spark of electricity coursed between them.

Piper immediately pulled her hand away at this, clenching the ticket in her hand. Her eyes darkened slightly as she locked them on Alex's face.

Alex, pushed her glasses up onto her head, pushing her hair out of her face. This gave her hands something to do instead of trying to reach out for Piper's again. She desperately wanted to hold Piper's hand after feeling the softness of it against hers. But she knew it would do no use. Piper had been avoiding her over the last two weeks. Everyone kept on telling her to give Piper time and space and that eventually she would come around. But Alex, was afraid of that. She was afraid that the more time and space that was put between her and Piper, the worse things would become.

Piper continued to gaze onto Alex for a moment longer before turning to leave. It hurt to much to look into those green eyes. She needed to get away from the dark haired beauty.

However she didn't get very far before she felt Alex's hand on her wrist, stopping her in dead in her tracks.

Piper spun around at this and locked eyes once again with Alex , whose face was just a mere inches away from her own now. She could feel the warmth of her breathe on her skin. She wrenched her wrist away from Alex's hand. However, her skin burned from where the older woman had touched her. It felt like she had been shocked as she clenched her hand into a fist and cradled it in her other. She could feel old feelings stir deep inside but she quickly squished them away. Her eyes were burning with sudden rage as she continued to stare at Alex.

Alex didn't say anything as she continued to study Piper's face. She could tell she had been crying again. Her heart broke at the sight of her. It was then in that moment, Alex wished she could take the pain and sadness away from Piper, some how. To wipe away the sorrow and pain from those blue eyes. She just wanted to see Piper smile again. She was beautiful when she smiled, though Alex to herself. She had told her to stay away and not to come running to her when she had a problem. But here she was, wanting in. She was a hypocrite and she knew it. Alex knew she could say all she wanted to Piper but words were just words. Her feelings for this broken woman before her, were real. She couldn't change that. She hearted Piper Chapman. She _fucking_ hearted Piper Chapman.

And all she wanted to do was help her, support her.

Alex could feel the rapid beating of Piper's heart as she continued to stare into those baby blues. And before she knew what she was doing, she had her hands placed on either side of Piper's face and she was kissing her. Her mouth and hands had a mind of their own at the moment, as her head screamed _no_! That it would only make things worse between them. However, her body continued to work on it's own as she continued to kiss Piper.

Piper just stood there with her arms glued to her sides in shock before snapping back to life. She placed both of her hands firmly onto Alex's chest and used all of her strength to push the taller woman away.

"FUCK OFF!" screamed Piper into Alex's face before she walked away and out of the room. Tears blurred her eyes as she stormed out. A mixture of fear and rage coursed through her. She both fucking hated and loved Alex Vause at that moment.

Alex called out after Piper, but it did no use. She could feel her own tears fall down her face as her heart broken all over again over Piper Chapman. Why couldn't she just let her go?

_Alex pressed Piper up against the kitchen Island as the kiss deepened with passion. Her hands caressed the sides of her face and made their way down her neck. Piper's hands roamed up and down Alex's bare back. She couldn't seem to get enough of Alex. She wanted her both inside of her and to be inside of her. _

_"Baby, let me feel you," moaned Piper as her hands cupped Alex's firm as cheeks. She kneed at the skin before sliding one hand between her legs from behind. Her fingers immediately beginning to work Alex's cunt without permission. _

_"Fuck," swore Alex as a sudden wave of pleasure crashed over her. Her hands clenched the material of the bathrobe. Piper's touch took her by surprise. But it was a good surprise. She kissed the side of her neck as her hands started to untie the knot of Piper's robe. Once the robe was open, Alex's hands went straight to Piper's breasts. Her fingers pulled at her nipples as she lifted her leg up and wrapped it around Piper's waist. Her pussy was pulsing as Piper's fingers continued to work magic on it. _

_Alex's lips sucked on the side of Piper's neck as another wave of pleasure washed over her. _

_"Come on Baby, cum for me," whispered Piper as she ran a finger down Alex's torso to her centre. She then slid two fingers into Alex from behind as her other hand found her cit. _

_Alex was practically melting against Piper as she flexed her hips against Piper's hands. However, Alex still couldn't let go completely of control that Piper wanted her too. Alex crashed her mouth passionately into a kiss as her own hand began to work some magic on Piper's pussy. _

_"Alex!" whispered Piper harshly as a sudden warmth of pleasure filled the pit of her stomach. She hadn't been expecting that. But it was a good surprise, she thought as she closed her eyes briefly and allowed for Alex' touch take over her for a second. _

"I want to fucking help her Nicky but I can't," Alex voice was filled with pain. She didn't try to fit off the tears that stung her eyes. She was leaning against the fence of the grounds. It had been two days since that night in the laundry when she had stupidly had kissed Piper.

Nicky, who was standing beside Alex, just nodded her head in understanding. She didn't know really what to say on the matter of Piper anymore. She could tell that Alex was hurting and wanted to be with the blonde. But Piper was hurting as well and wasn't allowing Alex in.

The two women were silent as they looked out onto the field, where Watson was doing her laps.

"I kissed her," confessed Alex, breaking the silence. She hadn't told anyone about that night.

"What the hell? When?" cried out Nicky as she turned to look at Alex.

"Two nights ago," explained Alex as she turned to meet Nicky's eye. "It had been stupid. so fucking stupid." She was angry with herself the way she had practically thrown herself at Piper like that. But she couldn't had resisted. She had been close to her at that moment. She ran a hand through her hair as she let out a sigh. "She had just been standing there, so close. She looked so fucking scared."

"And you thought you could just kiss away her pain or something?" asked Nicky in her normal teasing but also judging way.

Alex just glared at Nicky for a second before letting out a deep breath. "Yeah, I fucking did think I could," she admitted sadly. This time she let the tears fall from her eyes as she looked away from Nicky and out onto the track, where Watson had just passed them. "Like it was some fairytale or something. And everything could be fixed by true love's kiss."

"True love's kiss? You getting sappy on me, Vause!"

"Shut up! You know what I meant," replied Alex as she once again tried to compose herself. "I thought, I could make it better. I just wanted to show her that I still cared about her. That what I said months ago was crap!"

"Did she kiss you back?" asked Nicky.

"No, it was all me. All stupid fucking me!" She then suddenly turned and kicked the fence, making the chain of it rattle. She was frustrated at herself for making things worse then they already where between her and Piper. She never acted out of emotion. That was Piper. But here she was, running around like an emotional mess. She couldn't seem to think straight any longer.

"Well, just give it some time. She might come around," whispered Nicky as she continued to watch as Alex kicked the fence. "Morello did!" She added in a quiet voice. She couldn't help but smile at this. After Piper had come back from SHU, things had changed for the better between the former lovers.

Alex just glared a her friend at this. She was happy for the two of them but she didn't need Nicky rubbing it in her face that she was now getting some and she wasn't.

"I'm sorry," replied Nicky, trying to erase the trace of the smile from her face. She held up her hands in front of her in defence, "I'm just saying. Morello came around and so might Chapman. You just have to give these straight girls sometime to figure shit out."

Alex just rolled her eyes at Nicky before crossing her arms over her chest and once again leaning against the chain of the fence. A tired sigh escaped her lips. She wished that Nicky was right. That by some fucking miracle, her and Piper would make it through this.

* * *

"Chapman, so I have some good news and bad news for you," spoke Healy as he stared across the desk at Piper.

Piper nodded her head in understanding. She nervously chewed on her bottom lip as she clenched her hands together in her lap. She knew what this was about. She was going to be hearing about her sentence.

"You want the good or the bad first?" he asked as he took off his glasses and continued to peer at her.

Piper just shrugged her shoulders as she down casted her eyes away from Healy's gaze. She didn't really care what news she got first.

Healy just stared at Piper for a moment, "Okay, well I always like to hear the bad news first," he explained as he briefly leaned back in his chair. "You got an extra 20 months added to your time here, Chapman. Not too bad for after doing a number on your fellow prisoner's face, now is it?"

Piper stared blankly at Healy, a sudden uneasy feeling washing over her. The older man cocked an eyebrow at her, he was waiting for her to answer. He wanted to make sure that Piper had indeed learnt her lesson.

"No sir," murmured Piper, her voice came out small and childlike. She was suddenly nervous as Healy continued to stare at her. She couldn't read the older man's thoughts but she knew whatever he was thinking, it wasn't good.

He continued to glare at Piper for a moment longer before smiling at her. He then leaned back towards the table, his chair squeaking at the sudden shifting of his weight. "Now, onto the good news. You got yourself a new bed to go to tonight, Chapman. Your in dorm A."

Dorm A was the Suburbs. A look of dread crossed her face at this. She had been hoping to be put back into her old dorm, the Ghetto with her old crew, Taystee, Black Cindy and Poussey. She hadn't talked to them much since her return. But they had all made a point to seek her out and ask if she was okay. She knew she still had friends there. The Suburbs scared her. Not only was Alex there. But Doggett and her loyal Jesus followers. She tried to avoid them whenever she could. But if she was now, sharing the same room as them, it would be difficult to do so.

"What Chapman? Not too happy to be in the same room as your girlfriend Vause?" asked Healy, noticing the look on Piper's face. "I thought you liked hot girls like her?" There was a gleam in his eyes. A look of amusement playing on his face as he continued to gaze on at Piper, liking his lips briefly.

"What did SHU knock that out of you, Chapman? Are you no longer a lesbian who goes for tall, hot girls?" He smirked slightly as he threw back her words at her. "Isn't that what you told me at thanksgiving, huh?"

Piper swallowed nervously at this. This wasn't the first time that Healy had said something like that to her but there wasn't a steel door between them now, Just a desk. She wasn't protected.

"Speak up Chapman?"

Piper just shook her head in a panic. She was sure Healy would attack her if she didn't get up and leave now. There was a gleam in the older man's eyes she didn't like. "I have to go," she murmured as she quickly rose to her feet and began to make her way towards the door.

Her hand tried to turn the knob and force the door open, but it wouldn't budge. She was locked in. She could hear Healy chuckling to himself in amusement as she continued to struggle with the door. "Please, please come on..." she murmured in a panic as she once again tried to unlock the door. She could hear Healy as he rose from his chair and began to make his way towards her.

"PLEASE!" she cried out as her hands shook the door knob, dramatically.

He was on her suddenly. His hands were at her waist while he breathed against her neck. The staleness of his breathe filling her nostrils. She was going to puke she thought as she was pressed up against the door.

"Don't have anything to say now, do you Chapman?" whispered Healy as he continued to press his 250 pound body into her.

Piper tried to fight him off but he was taller and stronger then her. He just seemed to laugh as she attempted to turn around and scratch his face. "I'm going to show you what a real man feels like banging your pussy. I know you aren't like Vause or Nichols. You aren't a real lesbian. You just need a real man to show you a good time. Am I right?" His voice was low as he continued to press into her backside. "That fiancé of yours obviously didn't please you well enough, Chapman."

Piper banged her hands against the surface of the door, hoping someone would hear her. Tears streamed down her face as fear coursed through her body. She knew what was going to happen next as she felt the sudden hardness of Healy against the small of her back. She could feel the bile raising her mouth as she bit suddenly down on her lower lip and closed her eyes. She prayed that it would be over quickly.

"Don't worry, I will take care of you," he whispered tenderly into her ear as he placed a kiss along the side of her neck and slid a hand up the front of her shirt. A cold chill ran down Piper's spin as she felt the roughness of his hands against her skin.

"Please," she whispered in desperation for Healy to let her go. "Please just let me fucking go..." She begged again. She was scared shitless as she was pinned against the wall.

Healy was silent for a moment as if debating what she had just asked. A small sigh then seemed to escape his lips as he suddenly took a small step away from Piper and removed his hands from her.

Piper stood frozen for a second, not daring to move in case Healy had changed his mind. She then slowly turned to face him. His eyes were dark with desire as he looked back at her. "I'm still not done with you Chapman," he whispered, his voice dripping with lust as he began to undo the buckle of his belt. "I need to teach you a lesson first on what good cock taste like."

Piper tried to scream out at this but no sound came out. She was backed into a corner between the door and the wall as Healy came towards her again. His pants were around his ankles now, his cock was hard and pulsing. Piper dared not to look at it. She couldn't.

"Please," she begged again, tears blurring her vision. She once again to tried to fight off Healy as he grabbed at both of her wrists. His grip was strong as he twisted and rubbed at the skin on her forearms. Before Piper knew it, he was forcing her down onto her knees. "Suck it Chapman! Taste the sweetness of cock!" he whispered as he took a hold of her hair and forced her face into his crotch.

She shook her head violently from side to side as tears spilled down her cheeks. She tried to fight back but his physical strength was no match for her. She had no choice but to take him into her mouth. Healy kept his grip on the back of her neck and pulled her fiercely towards him.

The whole ordeal took ten minutes or so but it felt like much longer for Piper. Her body had seemed to calm slightly as her head bob up and down on Healy's cock. She tired to numb herself, forcing her self not to think about the stench of Healy down there. Trying to ignore the bile rising in her throat as she continued to gag on the fullness of him. She tired to think about Larry. Thinking she was back in their apartment, giving him head. However it didn't do the trick. She couldn't shake the reality of the situation she was in. Healy's grip was strong on her. He held her so tight that she was finding it hard to breathe. She kept her eyes closed the whole time as Healy bumped and grinded. She tired to block of the sounds of his grunts as he came. His seed filling her mouth.

Healy loosened his grip on her suddenly, allowing her to removed her mouth from him. She still had his semen in her mouth. She didn't want to swallow it but she had no choice.

Her legs shook slightly as she stood but she ignored it. She didn't want to appear weak in front of him.

Healy smiled sheepishly at her as he did up the fly of his pants. "You can go now Chapman," he spoke as the sound of keys jingling suddenly filled the small office space. He had pulled out his keys from his pocket and unlocked the door.

Piper didn't say anything or dare to look at Healy as she quickly opened the door and ran from the office. She could hear Healy laughing at her as she bolted but she didn't look back. She ran straight for the bathroom as she could feel the bile once again threatening to come up. She needed to get the taste of him out of her mouth.

* * *

"Did you hear the news?" asked Morello as she slumped herself into the seat across from Alex and Nicky. It was dinner time.

"What news?" asked Nicky in between mouthfuls of food.

"Chapman moving into the Subs!" replied Morello her eyes looking brightly from Nicky to Alex and back.

Alex looked up suddenly from her tray and locked eyes with Morello, an eyebrow raised.

"How do you know all this Morello?" asked Nicky.

"Because Nichols," replied Morello focusing her attention onto her lover, "I just came from there and Chapman was most defiantly moving in. She had a box full of things with her." A grin appeared suddenly on her face.

Nicky couldn't help but smile back at Morello at this. She then glanced over at Alex through the corner of her eye. Alex's shoulder were slumped as she continued to gaze down into her food. Her expression was unreadable.

Alex didn't know whether to be happy or not over this news that Piper was in the same dorm as she was. A part of her was glad that she was close to her again but another part knew that it would make it that much harder to stay away now.

* * *

Piper's hands were shaking as the brought the blade of the razor down onto the skin of her thigh.

She had never been a cutter before but she was in desperate need of some relief. She just needed something to take the constant pain away from her. The constant sadness that filled her heart. She needed the ache to go away.

She wanted to feel something other then this dark fog that seemed to haze over her with every breath.

She was biting down on her lower lip as she felt the tip of the razor break the layer of skin and drew a line across. Tears filled her eye with the sudden stinging of the cut. But she was surprise it didn't hurt at bad as she thought it would. It felt like a paper cut, a large paper cut on her leg.

She let out a shallow breath at the sweet relief that suddenly washed over her.

She watched as a thin red line of blood began to pool from the cut. She did not try to brush it away as she felt the warmth run down her leg.

She then made another cut, just right below the other one. She needed to feel that relief again. She figured this is what an addict must feel like. Addicted to the pleasure and joy that lifted one in the act.

She cut herself two more times, traveling higher and higher up her thigh before regret quickly filled the pit of her stomach. She felt shame. Shame that it had come to this. Piper scrunched her facial muscles up into an unattractive look. A low moan of sorrow and pain was released suddenly from her chapped lips. Hot tears streamed down her cheeks as she allowed for the blood to continue to run down her leg. She violently then banged her shoulders and the back of head against the tiled wall.

What had she become?

Who was this person, she was now?

But at the same time she didn't care. The relief that washed over her as the cut was made was worth it.

It made her forget about Healy and the taste of him on her lips. It made her forget about Pennsatucky and her smug little face. It made her forget about Alex. It made her for a brief moment forget about the pain the ached in her heart with every beat it took.

It gave her a strange sense of peace.

_"Fuck PIPER!" moaned Alex, loudly as she pressed her body up against Piper. She was clinging to the women as her insides tightened themselves around her fingers. She could feeling her orgasm building as Piper continued to move her finger in and out of her pussy rapidly. _

_Piper couldn't help but smirk at Alex's reaction. She loved how she could control Alex like this. She deepened her touch slightly, making Alex moan out loudly again as her fingers rubbed at her cit. Alex's walls swelled over Piper's hand as she pushed deeper within her, finding the sensitive skin of her g-spot. Alex's legs widened as she continued to ride against Piper's hands. She was wet, so fucking wet and Piper loved it. _

_However, Piper was finding it a little hard to concentrate on what she was doing while Alex continued to finger her with the same passion. Alex's hand cupped her pussy and immediately pushed passed the folds and into her opening. _

_Both women wanted the other one to come. They were both trying to ride out their orgasm as long as they could. _

_It was a contest it seemed of who could last the longer in this game of control. _

* * *

If you made it this far, thanks for reading! And if you don't totally hate me by this point, leave a review!

Julie


	10. Chapter 10

Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

* * *

_The room was silent except for the noise coming from the TV. They were snuggled up on the small love seat in Piper's apartment. They were suppose to go out, but yet again they had ended up staying in. This time it hadn't been Alex's fault. It had been the snow's. It was blizzard still outside. The biggest of the year, or so the weather man had said early on the six o'clock news. All of Northampton was told to stay inside. So they had. _

_They'd done dinner and a movie at home. Alex had cooked dinner and Piper had chosen the movie. _

_The credits to Pretty In Pink were rolling down the screen as Alex shifted her weight ever so slightly on the couch. She didn't want to a wake Piper, who had fallen asleep about half way through the movie. _

_When Piper had first suggested that they do movie and dinner in, Alex had thought it would had ended differently. That watching the movie, would lead to a heavy make-out session on the couch before ending the night in the bedroom. However, Piper had just wanted to snuggle and that had lead to her falling asleep on Alex's shoulder. Forcing her to watch the remainder of the cheesy 80s movie by herself. _

_Alex was surprise she wasn't the one fast asleep at the moment. She was still pretty jetlagged from her flight the previous day. But she had kept Piper up for most of the night, so she wasn't totally surprised that the blonde hadn't made it. _

_Alex had her arm snagged around Piper's back, her hand resting just underneath her breast. Piper's entire body was pressed up against Alex's left side. Her head was resting on her shoulder. She was dead to the world. _

_Alex couldn't help but admire how cute Piper looked at the moment. Leaning forward she kissed the crown of Piper's hairline. She had never been one for cuddling but Piper was different. She brought something out of Alex that she couldn't quite describe. She didn't know if it was just Piper's body that she craved to hold against her own, to feel the warmth of her body pressed up against hers or that she felt she needed to protect her. That she needed to let Piper know without words that she was there for her. No matter what. _

_Or maybe she'd just spent too much time a part from the blonde and wanted to make up for it. She shook her head at herself at how sappy she was becoming. Alex knew though, despite how much she fought her feelings that soon she would be saying those three little words she rarely said to anyone. She didn't think she had ever spoken them really, other then to her mom or grandma. Alex Vause had always made sure never to fall in love. She, saw at a young age how people you loved disappointed you. She saw it with the numerous boyfriends, her mother had, while growing up. She'd always made sure to have short fun relationships with girls. Wild affaires that were only about sex and adventure. _

_Nothing serious. _

_And that's what she thought Piper would be. Another fuck on her belt. But the blonde had taken Alex by surprise. And here she was, ten o'clock on a Thursday night cuddled up on the couch, watching Pretty In Pink with her girlfriend. Fuck! when had she changed? she thought to herself. What power did Piper hold over her? _

_As she pondered these thoughts, Alex carefully reached for the remote of the TV and pressed play, starting the movie again. _

Alex woke up early the next morning, earlier then usual. It was just barely passed three in the morning as she sat up in her bed. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes, at the same time as she reached for her glasses which she left on the floor, beside the bed. Putting them on she glanced over at her bunkmate, McCarthy She was an older woman, who this was her third time, doing time. She was loud and had a dry sense of humour. In away, she reminded Alex of Nicky as a much older woman.

McCarthy was lying on her back and snoring away. She was dead to the world. Alex much preferred having her as a bunkmate over Taylor. The older woman didn't question Alex on her every move like Taylor had. She didn't act like she was better then she was. Their relationship worked together.

Alex, found she couldn't sleep knowing that Piper was so close to her. Her bunk was only two down from her own. Alex had seen her briefly after dinner at count but Piper had avoided looking at her. The blonde had gone straight to bed afterwards. Alex still hated herself for kissing Piper like she had. She hadn't been thinking. Like usual, she had been too blinded by love.

Alex's movements were slow as she moved along the bed and towards the small locker at the end of it. Sitting on top of it was a roll of toilet paper. She reached for it before standing up. She figured she might as well take advantage of the bathrooms while everyone else was still sleeping. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the shadow of a figure appear. She thought it was one of the COs doing their hourly patrol of the room. However, she was wrong.

It was Piper.

Her movements were slow and cautious as she walked along the row of bunks towards her own. It hurt to walk with every step. But she welcomed the pain. It was like a constant reminder that she was still alive; even if she didn't feel like it at times.

Piper stopped walking briefly as she noticed she was being watched. Her entire body froze as she locked eyes with Alex. Fear was edged in her face as she continued to look on at the dark haired woman for a moment longer before quickly looking away. She then began to move as quickly as she could towards her bunk. Pain sneered through her body but she ignored it for the most part. She just wanted to get back to her bunk. She could still feel Alex's eyes on her but she continued on her way. She knew Alex would flip if she found out about the cuts on her inner thigh.

Alex stood frozen, watching as Piper walked away from her. She stayed there listening as Piper walked towards her bunk. She crooked her head slightly, listening as Piper got into her own bed. She then counted to ten before making her way to the bathroom.

She still had to pee.

_She had never really watched the movie before. Piper after hearing this had insisted that they had to watch it then. It was one of her favourites and she was going to make it one of Alex's too. Alex had only just shrugged at this. She doubted that but she wasn't going to argue. When the movie had first started, Alex had been barely paying attention to it. She'd been too preoccupied drinking her beer and trying to figure out when was the best moment to jump Piper. _

_Alex, pulled Piper closer to her as she watched as the opening credits rolled and Molly Ringwald's character, Andy got dressed. She couldn't help but think about her own teenagehood as she watched as Andy walked into the bedroom of her father's and tried to get him up. She knew all too well what it was like to grow up in a single parent household and the troubles that came with it. Money had always been an issue, growing up. Her mom had done her best but she could never afford to have the brand name clothes or the things every other kid had. She knew all too well what it was like to have to deal with snotty rich bitches too. _

_In away, Alex sort of felt like she was watching her own life in movie form. She remember all too well what high school had been like for her. With the popular girls making fun of how she dressed and calling her name behind her back. She'd had a similar pair of glasses to the ones Andy wore in the movie,too. Alex had even had a close guy friend who had been similar to Duckie. The only difference was, she hadn't lusted over the hot rich boy. Alex had realized at the age of fourteen she was gay. She'd never come out though until she was eighteen. But that still hadn't stopped people from assuming and calling her a dyke. _

_Alex could help but laugh as Duckie came into the record store and began to lip-sync to Try A Little Tenderness. She was starting to love this guy. She knew how the movie ended but she couldn't help but still root for the guy in winning over Andy's heart. Alex never rooted for heterosexual couples usually but she couldn't help herself, at this moment. Duckie and Andy deserved to be together. _

_Alex, couldn't help but roll her eyes at herself. What had Piper Chapman done to her? Here she was sitting, watching some cheesy teenage 80s movie when two nights ago she had been drunk as fucked and dancing at some club into the wee hours of the morning. Love could make you blind, she thought to herself as she glanced over at Piper, who was still sleeping. _

Piper wrapped the itchy blanket around her body before getting into bed. The tears came quickly as she pressed her face into the pillow, muffling the sudden sobs that escaped her lips.

She was in so much pain. She wanted to tell someone but she didn't know who she could. Counselling was available at the prison but that wasn't an opinion for her. She knew she could ask for a new counsellor but that would involve going to Healy and requesting one. That was defiantly a no too. She needed to avoid him as much as possible.

She could always go to the warden and get Healy's ass fired but she was scared to do so. She was afraid that she wouldn't believe her. It was always their word against your own. Healy would just say she was losing her mind and get sent back into SHU or worse psych.

She didn't know what to do anymore. She had no one to turn too. She wanted to tell Alex or someone else about Healy's attack but telling would make it a real issue. In away, if she kept it to herself and pretended it never happen she would be able to move on. To put it past her ,right? Another sob escaped her lips as her thoughts continued to swirl in her mind. She pulled the blanket further over her head as if trying to hide herself. Reaching down in between her legs, she ran her hand against the open cuts on her thigh. Her leg suddenly throbbed with pain at her touch. The skin burned like it was on fire. She bit down on her lower lip at this but continued to press her hand into her leg. She wanted to make herself feel something. The pain was constant reminder that she was still here. Still alive.

And that's what cutting herself had been about. It helped give her control in her life, here in prison. It helped ground her to the physically word and get away from the mess of emotions of her mind. It was a way out. Even if it was brief. It was something.

That brief moment when the razor cut her skin, there was no Healy or Pennsatucky messing with her. There was just her and the sweet stinging of physical pain washing over her.

She both hated and loved it.

_The movie was once again over and Piper was still sleeping. Alex watched as the credits rolled on the screen before turning the movie and TV off. The living room was suddenly flooded in darkness, except for the small plug in light that Piper had in the kitchen. Alex rubbed her hand up and down Piper's side as she glanced over to the digital clock on the DVD player. It was just passed eleven at night. It was way too early still for Alex but there was nothing else to do but sleep, really. _

_She thought about waking up Piper but quickly changed her mind. The blonde looked to peaceful to disturb. So instead she slowly and gently pulled Piper down onto her chest at the same time as she lay down on the couch. Alex was now laying on her back, with Piper curled up beside her. Her legs were bent in an awkward angle. She was too tall for the small love seat. It wasn't the most comfortable position but it was something. _

_She had her arms protectively wrapped around Piper's frame. She couldn't believe how much of a heavy sleeper Piper was; she hadn't batted one eyelash as she moved her. As Alex pressed the flatness of her palm against Piper's stomach, she lifted the other one up to her face. She softly brushed the long strands of blonde hair away from her face. Her green eyes once again admiring the beauty of her. Even in her sleep, Piper Chapman took her heart away. _

_She continued to study Piper for a moment longer, listening to the heaviness of her breathing. She tired to match her own breathing pattern with Piper's, so that her chest rose and fell with hers. _

_Alex then removed her glasses and folded them before slowly reaching out and placing them on the coffee table. She was trying to move as little as possible, just in case Piper did wake up. She then pulled Piper closer to her on the small couch. She nuzzled her face into the blonde's hair, taking in the smell of her shampoo; vanilla and coconut. It smelt like heaven to her as she closed her eyes and placed a small kiss onto Piper's forehead. _

_"I love you," she whispered. She knew that Piper couldn't hear her but that was the point. She had to get a liking for the words on her tongue before she could say them for real to Piper. She had to test out the phrase first. Getting use to the way her lips moved as they formed each little word together. __She pressed another kiss to Piper's temple before snuggling even closer to the blonde. She wasn't that tired but she hoped that sleep would come quickly for her. God, knows she could use the extra hour or two of it. However, her body was suddenly wide awake as she heard her words murmured back at her. _

_"I love you," murmured Piper in a sleepy voice._

_Alex's eyes fluttered opened at this. Her entire body seemed to stiffen as she gazed down at Piper, who was now wide awake and staring intensely back up at her. _

_Alex's heart suddenly began to race as a wave of nerves washed over her. Piper, wasn't suppose to hear her confession. As Alex continued to look on at her, not really sure what to say to Piper; Piper lifted her head off of Alex's chest and turned her body so that she could see her better. _

_A small smile appeared on the younger woman's face. _

_"I love you," whispered Piper as she leaned forward and kissed Alex's softly on the lips. _

_She pulled back after a second and looked once again into Alex's eyes. Alex's heart was still racing but her nerves were some what gone. Her eyes were suddenly moist as a grin appeared on her face. "I love you," she replied back. Her voice was clear and firm. There was no denying it now. She loved this woman in her arms and she didn't care who knew it. There was nothing to be afraid of anymore. Piper loved her and she loved Piper. _

_Their lips then met and fussed together in a passionate kiss. _

* * *

Thanks for reading and please review!

Julie


	11. Chapter 11

Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

Just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who had taken the time to review the last few chapters. I appreciate all the good and bad criticism. I understand where some of you are coming from. I might have jumped the shark a little with the Healy incident. But I am trying to bring the plot back around. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel. I promise.

Just been writing how I have been feeling, you could say. but this is not about me. Just stick with me people, I have a plan.

But also, I don't know who you are but whoever wrote that lengthy review on the last chapter. I thank you. I have never gotten a review such like that. I appreciate the feedback you have given. It really helped me figure out where I want this story together. And I agree with you that I have lost control of this fic but am trying to steer it back in the right direction! :)

Anyways, enough of my rambling. On with the story.

* * *

Piper awoke with a start.

The blanket sometime within the few hours of sleep she had gotten, had fallen to the floor. She lay in her bed feeling completely exposed in just her grey baggy nightshirt. She was drenched in sweat. She had a nightmare. Her dreams since returning back from SHU had been up until this point about Pennsatucky and Taylor. But now Healy's image filled them.

"Morning Chapman!" spoke Nicky as she suddenly appeared and leaned against the wall of the bunk. "Welcome to the Subs!" She smiled warmly at Piper.

Piper just stared at Nicky for a moment, she was caught off guard by her sudden appearance. She then nervously pulled down the edge of her nightgown, covering her legs from the woman. "Hi Nicky," she murmured back. She hoped that Nicky was just popping in to say hi and would be leaving her soon. She still had to get dressed and didn't want for the other woman to see the marks on her legs.

"It's good to see you here. We were all worried about you while you were down in SHU," spoke Nicky as she continued to look on at Piper. "Especially, Vause. "

Piper's blue eyes widened slightly at this, "Why are you telling me this?" Her voice was barely above a whisper. She didn't understand why Nicky was telling her that she had been missed by Alex. She thought that Nicky was Alex's new plaything?

Nicky narrowed her eyes at the blonde for a second before her face broke out into a wide grin, realising what Piper thought. "Look, Chapman. I know shit went down between you and Alex at Christmas. But she never stopped loving you. She was a fucking mess while you where in SHU. She still is a fucking mess over you. I know you are going through you own stuff as well. SHU is a shit hole..." Nicky's voice trailed off slightly as she glanced over her shoulder before returning her attention onto Piper. "Look, Chapman, all I am saying is that you need to talk to someone about your feelings and shit. Because soon it's going to start eating away at ya. I'm not saying to run to Vause or anything. But you need a friend. And, she's a...good listener."

Nicky continued to look on at Piper for a second longer, before turning and leaving without another word. Nicky Nichols wasn't any match maker but she did hate to see her friends hurting like she knew Alex and Piper where. Prison was already depressing as it is. Everyone should have at least someone to lean on, while there. She had Lorna now again. She just wanted to return the favour to Alex.

Piper wanted to go back to bed but forced herself to get up after Nicky left and proceeded to get dressed, very slowly. She thought about skipping breakfast since she had already missed her early morning time slot. The cafeteria would be packed by this point. But since skipping dinner the night before, she knew she had to put something in her stomach.

_"Say it again!" _

_"Say it again, Alex!" cried out Piper as she pressed herself up against Alex in the shower. _

_Alex just glared at her girlfriend. "Piper," she began to speak but was cut off._

_Piper press a finger up to Alex's lips. A seductive smile appearing on her face as she continued to look on at Alex. "You know you wanna...Say it!" she teased as she pressed her lips against Alex's and trailed the pads of her fingers down the wet skin of Alex's torso. _

_Alex just rolled her eyes at Piper. She couldn't believe how childish Piper was acting at this moment. You say something one time and you never hear the end of it, she thought bitterly to herself as she continued to gaze on at Piper, who was till waiting for her. _

_"Please," she begged, sticking out her lower lip. A move that she knew Alex couldn't resist. "Say it!" _

_A low purr escaped from Alex's throat as she suddenly felt Piper's hand on her cunt. The younger woman's fingers were working the folds of her centre, gently parting them until she found her opening. _

_"Say it!" whispered Piper into Alex's ear as her mouth began to attack the side of her neck at the same time as she pressed her wet naked body up against her own. Her erected nipples brushing up against Alex's own. "Say it!" she whispered again, this time harshly as she bit down slightly on the pale skin of Alex's neck. _

_She then slid two fingers suddenly into Alex. _

_Alex immediately pressed her hands to Piper's waist at this, flexing her hips into her. Another moan escaping her lips as pleasure ran through her. She wanted Piper and badly. _

_Piper's fingers roughly pushed into her, quickly finding her g-spot. They rubbed up against her for a moment longer before sliding out completely. _

_She was teasing her. _

_Alex's green eyes begged for Piper to take her then and there. _

_However, Piper continued to tease her with light feathery touches. The blonde just smiled and shook her head slightly, back and forth. She wasn't going to give Alex what she wanted until she gave her what she wanted. _

_"Say it!"_

"You need to eat more blondie," spoke Red as she handed Piper her tray. "You are starting to look like one of those supermodels on the runway. And that ain't a good thing!"

Piper didn't say anything in reply to the Russian woman as she took her tray and nodded her head slightly. She didn't need the lecture. She knew how thin she had become since SHU.

Just as she was turning away from the counter, someone suddenly grabbed the crook of her arm. Piper jumped slightly at the sudden touch. Her blue eyes widened as she looked to see who it was.

"Hey Chapman!" squeaked Morello, as she stared up at Piper. There was a warm smile on her face.

"Hi," murmured back Piper.

"You're eating with us today!" explained Morello as she continued to stir the blonde through the cafeteria and towards one of the tables by the window.

Piper was too taken back to say anything as Morello stopped suddenly in front of a table. It was the Suburbs' table.

"Look who I found!" squeaked Morello as she let go of Piper's arm and looked to the rest at the table. There was Nicky, Alex, Big Boo and Yoga Jones.

"Hey Chapman! how's it going?" cried out Big Boo in her normally loud voice. She smiled warmly at the blonde, who was still hovering at the front of the table, unsure whether she should sit or not.

"Take a seat Chapman," spoke Nicky towards Piper, gesturing to the only empty seat at the table. It was right across from Alex and beside Yoga Jones. "We won't bite, I promise!" She smiled genuinely up at Piper.

Piper frowned slightly as she looked quickly around at the others at the table before glancing over her shoulder. She, really had no where else to go. Sudden nerves washed over her but she tried not to let them show as she slid her tray onto the table and took the seat opposite of Alex.

Alex's eyes bore into Piper's. She smiled a small smile at her, "Hey Kid."

Piper looked at Alex for a second longer before down casting her eyes onto her food. She didn't know what to say to Alex. She still made her extremely nervous to be around. She could still feel Alex's eyes on her but she didn't dare to look up. She could feel the tears threatening to fall from the back of her eyes. She wanted to hate Alex for rejecting her at Christmas. But she no longer had the energy to do so. She just wanted Alex to love her again.

Neither of the two woman spoke a word to each other as they listen to the other conversations at the table. Piper kept her eyes down the entire time as she slowly ate her eggs, deep in thought. Her mind seemed to be a mush of emotions at the moment.

A few moments then passed before the conversation was once again drifted onto Piper. "So Chapman," spoke Nicky breaking the silence, "How are you liking the Subs so far? How was your first night?"

Piper's head immediately snapped up at this and looked towards Nicky. She didn't know how to answer this question. She had only spent one night there and had hated it. She had been thinking the entire time about Healy and the pain she was feeling. She didn't even remember who her bunkmate was. All she could think about was the taste of Healy in her mouth. How she wished she could go numb again and turn the world out. That's what cutting had been about. She had remembered a girl from high school telling her years ago about how it was about feeling something and blocking out the real pain you were feeling. That's how her first night had been. But she couldn't possibly tell them that.

"It was okay..." she murmured as she looked on at Nicky before once again looking down at her untouched food. She could feel that everyone was looking at her now, excepting her to say more. However, she didn't.

"How do you like Berry?" asked Morello, "She's a little strange but really a nice girl."

"Who?" asked Piper in puzzlement. She didn't know any Berry.

"Berry, Rose Berry," squeaked Morello as she leaned slightly into the table and over at Piper. "She's your bunkmate!"

"Oh!" cried out Piper, her blue eyes widening in realization. Her cheeks then flushed with embarrassment. After leaving Healy's office she had gone straight to the bathroom to throw up. She hadn't gone to her new bunk much later, when everyone was at dinner. Her bunkmate hadn't been there. She remembered briefly a tall lanky girl had introduced her self as her bunk mate later on but she didn't remember the girl's name.

Everyone at the table laughed at this except for Alex and Yoga Jones. Yoga Jones smiled kindly at her, sympathizing with her. The older woman had been trying to convince her to go back to yoga a few days ago. That it would help battle her inner demons. Piper had told her, she would think about. Piper glanced over at Yoga Jones at this before looking over at Alex, who had reached across the table and gave Piper's hand which was resting on the surface, a squeeze. Her green eyes once again boring into hers. "It's okay kid," she whispered.

Piper once again allowed herself to get lost in those green orbs of hers. There was a love and devotion for her being reflect in them. Piper didn't quite understand this though. She thought that Alex hated her. Why was she being so nice to her? wondered Piper to herself as she continue to lock eyes with Alex.

Alex was still holding her hand. It was an intimate moments between the two women.

However, it was quickly broken by Nicky. The blonde's booming laughter interrupted the them,once again drawing Piper back to reality. She thought that she was laughing at her for a moment as she pulled her hand away from Alex's and looked over to the other woman. However, Nicky wasn't laughing at either her or Alex. She was laughing at something that Morello had said. She then watched as Nicky draped her arm casually over Morello's shoulder , pulling the smaller woman slightly into her. She frowned in confusion at this. It looked like Morello and her were a couple or something. But wasn't she with Alex?

She could feel the redness creeping up her neck as she continued to watch the couple, realization setting in. She had been wrong this whole time. She had thought that Nicky and Alex were an item. The way she had seen them sitting on Alex's bunk at Christmas, so intimately like Piper had been just a few days before hand. She had just assumed.

"Chapman, what's wrong?" asked Nicky as she noticed the look playing off on Piper's face. "Never seen two lesbians before?" She meant it as a joke but Piper didn't seen it that way.

"It's...it's just that... I thought..." She stumbled over her words in a panic as her eyes looked from Nicky to Alex and back. "I...I dunno."

"What you thought me and Vause were an item or something?" asked Nicky, an amused look appearing on her face at this. "Hear that Vause!" She turned her attention on to Alex and pushed her playfully in the shoulder.

Alex didn't say anything as this as she looked briefly over at Nicky before looking back at Piper. She didn't find this to be very amusing as Nicky found it. Piper was blushing with embarrassment yet again for being pointed out on her mistake. Alex, then reached out and took Piper's hand yet again. She needed to set the record straight. "Pipes, me and Nicky weren't ever together."

"Well, I wouldn't say we weren't e_ver_ together. There was at least two times..." interjected Nicky.

"Nicky! shut the fuck up!" hissed Alex as she glared over at Nicky before looking back over at Piper. This wasn't the time or place to be bringing up the two times that they had been together. Piper was still allowing her to hold her hand but she wasn't looking at her anymore. Her eyes were focused on her food.

"Pipes," whispered Alex tenderly to the blonde. "Look at me." She wanted to look into Piper's face and tell her how she had never stopped loving her. That she still loved her. "Pipes," she whispered again as she leaned over her tray of food and closer in to Piper.

It was then that Piper slowly lifted her head and locked eyes with Alex. Her eyes were filled with emotion as she looked back at Alex. Piper didn't understand why Alex was being nice to her all the sudden. Maybe she wasn't with Nicky but didn't she hate her still for picking Larry over her? Wasn't she suppose to not come running to her ever again with her problems? Wasn't she done dealing with her shit? Piper's brows were knitted together in puzzlement as she continued to glare at Alex.

"Pipes," whispered the older woman again. She smiled slightly at Piper. She could clearly tell that Piper was struggling with something at the moment. She just wanted to be there to help her through it. Whatever it was. There was so much Alex wanted to say to her at that moment but no words came to mind. She couldn't seen to express her feelings for this broken and hurt woman before her. "I heart you!" she whispered, her voice was low so only Piper could hear her. She knew that they had an audience at the table but she ignored them. All her attention was on Piper, who she was hoping would finally let her in.

This confession though, just made Piper even more confused. "I don't understand," replied Piper as she suddenly pulled her hand away from Alex's. A sudden rage came over her. She didn't like to get mislead. "I thought you hated me. You said to stay away and now..." Her voice trailed off as she tried to get a barring on her thoughts. "I don't understand. I chose Larry over you...and you said to stay away...to never come running to you again...ever...but now?" Her blue eyes continued to study Alex's face, looking for an answer. This was the most she had spoken to Alex in months. It was the most she had spoken to anyone really. But at that moment, she needed an answer.

"I did," stated Alex as she leaned back in her seat and ran a hand through her hair. Her eyes briefly looking away from Piper and at the others at the table, who were pretending to be in their own discussion. But Alex knew that they were listening in. She never imaged she would be having this conversation with Piper in the cafeteria but here they were. This might be her only chance to say this to Piper. She wasn't going to back down now.

"I did say those things to you. And at the time I meant it," her attention was once back on Piper. "I was mad at you for choosing Larry. You were right. But then shit happened Kid. You got stabbed and sent away to SHU. I didn't know the fuck what was going on. But the moment I heard about what happened, all that shit that I said early , went out the window. I was worried about you. You were gone from my life again and I didn't like it." Her green eyes brimmed with tears at the sudden emotion that washed over her but she blinked them away. This wasn't the time to cry. She needed to remain strong for Piper's sake.

Piper was silent as she listened to the older woman's confession. This seemed to change everything. For this whole time she had been fighting her feelings for Alex because she had thought she had moved on with Nicky and that she didn't love her anymore. But she had been wrong. Alex had never stopped loving her. She was never with Nicky. Piper had just made it all up in her head. Silent tears fell down her cheeks but she didn't bother to brush them away. Her eyes continued to pour into Alex's. Piper didn't know what to say to any of this. She was confused.

She desperately wanted to tell Alex that she loved her too. That there was no Larry anymore in the picture. That she didn't love him. That she only loved her. That it had always been Alex. She desperately wanted to tell her about Healy. About the pain she was feeling. About the cuts burning on her inner thigh. But then a feeling of shame washed over her that she couldn't shake. Alex wouldn't want this person she had become. This pathetic mess of a human being. She was damaged goods. SHU had fucked her up. Healy had fucked her up. The moment Alex saw how messed up she was, she would leave her. Especially when she saw the ugliness that had become her body. From the bones sticking out. To the scares on her stomach. To the cuts on her thigh. She was no longer the hot, sexy , blonde 22 year old girl she had picked up at the bar all those years ago. And as soon as Alex realized this, she would change her mind. A part of Piper, knew this was just her mind playing games with her but the other part believed every word of it. She couldn't shake the idea away.

Piper suddenly bit down on her lower lip as she tore her eyes away from Alex. She didn't know what to say really but before she even could say something, the sound of the bell went off. Indicating that breakfast was over.

As the other began to rise from the table, Alex stayed seated looking on at Piper. She was holding her breath, waiting for the blonde to say something in reply.

"You coming?" asked Nicky towards Alex as she slowly got to her feet and looked from Alex to Piper and back.

"Yeah, in a minute," whispered Alex, waving her hand in the air, indicating for Nicky to leave. That she would follow shortly. She was still waiting on Piper, though.

"Pipes," she whispered again, hoping to get Piper's attention.

"You should go," replied Piper as she slowly lifted her head and locked eyes with Alex. "You will be late for work." She held Alex's gaze for a second longer before suddenly grabbing her tray and rising to her feet.

And with that, Piper left Alex once again.

_"Aarrggh," moaned out Alex in frustration as she threw her head back against the shower wall and closed her eyes briefly. Her body craved Piper's touch. But Piper wasn't giving it to her._

_She wasn't use to this change of control. She wasn't use to having the table reversed like this on her._

_"Come on baby," whispered Piper, the tip of her tongue running along the inside of Alex's ear. "Just say it! You know you want too. Just say it and then I will give you what you want!" _

_Piper's teeth then latched on suddenly to the lope of Alex's ear, nibbling down on it slightly as she trailed a hand along the base of her right breast. Her other hand continued to rub at Alex's pussy. Her finger every so often gazing her clit. _

_"Oh, baby, you're wet!" observed Piper, as she once again slide a finger into Alex. "I bet you are close to coming, aren't you?" She asked as she added another finger. Her hand now cupped Alex's breast and tugged roughly at the nipple. "Say it! and I will let you come!" _

_Alex had her hands pressed onto Piper's shoulders for support as she lifted her leg and wrapped it around Piper's waist, making Piper's touch go deeper within her. She allowed for the pleasure and warmth to build up, until she could not fight the urge any longer. She could feel her orgasm coming. _

_"Say it!" _

_Piper now had three finger moving rapidly in and out of her. She let out another groan before letting her self go. She could not longer fight Piper's control on her body. "I FUCKING LOVE YOU!" she cried out._

_"Fuck!" she moaned as pleasure washed over her. Every nerve in her body seemed to be alive at that moment as she climaxed. "I fucking love you, Piper Chapman!" _

_Her body then went limp against Pipers. She dropped her leg and clung to the young woman for support. _

_"I love you too!" laughed Piper as she removed her hands from Alex and held her in her arms as she tried to catch her breathe. "I fucking love you, Alex Vause!" she whispered as she pressed a kiss to her temple. _

Since Piper hadn't been assigned a job yet, she didn't know what quite to do with her time. She needed a distraction but she had nothing. There was still all her things she had to go through and reorganise. Taystee had gathered all her things and kept it for her until she got back in the dorms. But she didn't have the heart to do so. There were things in there she didn't wanted to be reminded of...not yet that was. She thought about going for a run on the track but it was raining.

She was trying her best not to think about the cuts on her thighs and the small razor blade she had used last night. She was trying to resist the urge to use again. She was trying to deal with her pain but was struggling. After her encounter with Alex in the cafeteria, she was feeling more heartbroken then ever. But her feelings were no longer directed at Alex. But at herself.

She hated what she was doing to her body. She hated how she looked nowadays. She hated that she couldn't allow herself to be loved, anymore. She hated how she allowed her self to be the victim to Healy. There had been a point when she could stand up for herself and fight. But she had lost that ability. She could no longer stand up at Pennsatucky or Healy. She hated that she was a pathetic fuck up. She hated everything about who she was now. She no longer knew who she was.

Piper was seated on top of her mattress, slamming her back against the wall. The dorm was empty except for the odd person. Everyone else was at work. Tears of self- hatred falling down her cheeks like waterfalls. Her hands gripped at the material of her uniform. Her knuckles were white but she ignored it. She was trying to resist the urge to reach for the small blade that she had hidden in a small tin, she kept hair ties in.

She couldn't do it again. She couldn't go there again. She had to be strong. She needed to move passed this, she kept on telling herself.

She just wanted to be Piper Chapman again. The Piper Chapman that she knew before Litchfield, before Larry. She wanted to be the Piper Chapman that Alex had fallen in love with all those years ago. The hot, sexy, blonde 22 year old, who had the world at her feet. Life had seemed like an endless adventure back then.

But now, all she saw was darkness. _Fucking_ darkness.

There was no _fucking_ light at the end of the tunnel from where she stood.

Only _fucking_ darkness.

* * *

Thanks for reading and please review!

Julie


	12. Chapter 12

Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

Warning- this is a dark chapter, contains scenes of self-harm.

* * *

Piper tried to be as quiet as possible as she rose slowly from her bed. It was the middle of the night but she couldn't fight the need any longer. The pain was too much to deal with. She felt like a lead balloon, ready to burst.

She looked on at Berry, her bunkmate who was sleeping. She prayed that She wouldn't suddenly wake up as she rose to her feet and reached for the small tin, where the blade lay. Taking the tin in her hand she then reached for her towel, flip flops and roll of toilet paper. She held her breath as she began to walk out of the bunk and towards the bathroom. Pornstache was on the night shift that night. He would be spending most of his time in the bubble, like he usually did on his watch. He was suppose to patrol the dorms every half an hour but really only did every hour or so. This would give Piper enough time to go quietly there and back.

Her eyes scanned around the other bunks, making sure everyone was asleep. Her heart pounded with anxiety and fear with every step she took, along the cold floor of the dorm room. She didn't want to get caught. She was most scared that Alex would see her leaving and follow her. Ever since breakfast, Alex had been seeking her out. Talking to her. Asking how she was. Piper had told her, she was fine. When really on the inside she was falling apart.

Everything had been going fine or so it seemed for Piper. She had ate lunch with Alex, they talked very little. But it had just been nice to be in the other woman's company again.

It was just at dinner things had gone wrong.

Piper had spend the afternoon in the library, reading and listening to Taystee and Poussey talk. She hadn't allowed herself to think about Healy or Pennsatucky. She had been eating with Alex and Nicky and Morello again when Healy had approached the table out of the blue. He hadn't said anything. Just merely chuckled and smiled slyly at the four women who had stopped their conversation and looked up in puzzlement at the officer. He walked away whistling to himself.

He hadn't said anything towards Piper but he didn't have too. It only took his presence to bring up the feelings that Piper was trying to keep from surfacing. Alex must had sense something as she suddenly pushed her tray away and buried her face into her hands but the dark haired woman hadn't said anything, she let her be. Piper had then retreated back into her self at that moment. Alex had wanted her to join the rest of them for movie night but she had declined. She had then gone back to her bunk, again trying not to think about the blade she had hidden away. She had gone to sleep early, until lights were out and it was safe to get up.

Piper stopped walking and stood outside of Alex's bunk. The raven haired woman had her back towards Piper. She was curled up into herself, with her pillow tucked underneath her.

She was fast asleep.

Piper continued to stand there, studying Alex's form for a second longer before turning abruptly away.

* * *

She stripped down to nothing before laying her stuff just outside the shower stall. She left the curtain open, as she stepped through the stall. She didn't bother to turn on the shower as she took a seat on the cold tile floor. Her hands were shaking as she opened the lid of the tin and fumbled for the small blade she had taken from the razor blade she used to shave. She let out a shuddered breathe as stared down at the small sharp piece of metal laid out on her palm. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks as she shifted her gaze onto the fresh cuts on her thigh.

It had only been last night that she had found herself in the same situation, she was in now. However, it felt like forever since she had made those marks on her leg. She traced a finger along the closed wounds, debating whether or not she should reopen them or start fresh on her other thigh.

The only sounds that could be heard was the sound of her own breathing and the dripping from the loose tap of the shower. She closed her eyes briefly, trying to gather the courage to cut again. She didn't want to do it but her body craved the pain. To get ride of the thoughts that were swirling in her head. Healy was once again in her mind. The way his eyes had looked at her like she was a piece of meat. The low tone of his voice as he came towards her.

She shook her head violently as if to erase the image of Healy from her mind. Her stomach twisted as a wave of nausea came over her. She then stretched out her leg as she pointed her foot like a dancer. The urge was too much now.

A low hissed escaped her lips as she slid the tip of the razor onto one of the track marks and cut open the skin once again.

_"Welcome Home!" whispered Alex into Piper's ear as she wrapped her arms around the blonde and pressed a kiss to the side of her neck. _

_After a week of sharing Piper's small apartment with her, Alex had finally gotten her own place and immediately asked Piper to come live with her. _

_Piper couldn't help but giggle as Alex pressed her body against hers and ushered her further into the apartment. The front door closing loudly behind them. _

_It was late at night and they had just gotten the keys to the place. There was no furniture or anything else in the room. The place was dark and cold as they stood in the open plan apartment. It was a loft style with exposed brick walls and two huge bay windows. The kitchen was just off to the left by the front door. It only had one bedroom and a bathroom. But the living room area was already twice the size of Piper's entire studio apartment. _

_"It's beautiful," commented Piper as she brought a hand over her shoulder and cupped the side of Alex's face. The blonde had been a little sceptical at first with moving in with Alex but now was excited about the unknown future with this woman. _

_"I think we should christen the place," whispered Alex into Piper's ear. Her voice was like velvet against the blonde's ear, sending a cold shiver down her spine. _

_Piper slowly then turned around, so that her and Alex were face to face. She smiled at her, before wrapping her arms suddenly around Alex's neck and crashing her mouth passionately against hers. _

Piper's body was shaking as she tried to stand up in the stall but her legs wouldn't support her. She was suddenly weak as she clenched onto the tile wall for support as she felt her knees buckle from underneath her. Her vision blurred as she tried to regain her footing. She needed to get back to her bunk.

Her entire body was ice cold and covered in goose bumps as the cold mist of the shower hit her. She just wanted to take a shower and clean the reopened cuts on her thigh. However, she didn't get that far. She tried to ignore the throbbing of her head as she straightened her back and once again attempted to walk. She was dizzy and shaky but she pressed on. She had lost a lot of blood. There had seemed to be more blood this time around then the last time. She had tried to stop it but it had kept on flowing. It had taken her by surprise. It had pour out of her like the red sea.

A high pitched buzzing filled her eardrum suddenly as the room once again blurred before her. She was going to be sick, she thought before passing out all together.

The world going black.

* * *

"Nicky, we can't do this," squeaked Morello as she held her towel protectively around her body as she followed Nicky into the bathroom.

"It will be fine," replied Nicky as she turned around and smiled at her lover. "Alex and Piper used the showers all the time when they were "comforting" themselves. Plus don't you remember that one time I ate your pussy in here, and that had been when fucking people were around! It's still early! No on will hear us!" She them winked playfully at Morello as she reached for her hand and spun her suddenly around, so that she was now in front of Nicky.

Morello just smiled warmly at Nicky.

She trusted her.

The two women then smiled sheepishly at each other before Nicky was suddenly pressing her up against the wall of the bathroom and kissing her passionately on the mouth. She had been wanting to do that all day.

Morello's body melted into Nicky's at her touch. Nicky always knew how to touch her just right, it seemed.

The couple stayed like this for a few moments longer before moving deeper into the bathroom.

This time Morello took Nicky's hand and began to pull her towards the showers. She smiled at Nicky, playfully. Nicky returned the smile before something caught her eye. The sound of a shower could be heard. Both women froze suddenly at this. They weren't alone like they thought they were.

Nicky continued to look at the pile of items lying on the floor just outside the shower stall. She dropped Morello's hand and indicated her to be quiet as she slowly began to walk towards the shower. The only person she knew who would be showering this early was Alex. The blonde was curious to see who it was. Whoever it was, she thought didn't care much about privacy, the curtain she noted was wide open as she approached the stall.

Dread washed over her body suddenly as her eyes fell onto the unconscious Piper. "CHAPMAN!" she cried out suddenly as she ran into the shower. Her body and mind snapped into over drive as she fell to her knees beside Piper and began to feel for a pulse.

"Chapman?" whispered Morello coming up from behind and looking down on the scene before her. A hair rising scream then escaped from the small woman. Her hands immediately went to her mouth in fear.

Piper was naked and soaking wet from the still running shower. There were ugly cuts all over one thigh. There was blood on her hands and along her leg from where the shower hadn't hit her.

"Lorna! Shut up!" hissed Nicky as she looked at Morello. who was still standing there whimpering in fear. "Someone's going to hear you!" She continued to gaze at the woman for a second longer before dropping her attention back onto Piper. She had found a pulse. That was a good sign, she thought.

She pressed her hands to Piper's cheeks, pinching them slightly in hopes of suddenly wakening the unconscious woman. "Chapman!" she whispered, "Can you hear me? It's Nicky!"

Time seemed to come to a complete stop as they watch Piper's face for any sign she was awake. Both Nicky and Morello held their breathes for a moment, waiting and watching as Piper's eyes slowly then fluttered open.

"Thank you!" breathed out Nicky in relief. She smiled down at Piper, who was looking up at her. "Hey Chapman!"

She stared at Piper for a moment longer before going into action mode. She stood up and turned off the shower. She then glanced over at Morello, who was very pale looking. The poor girl looked like she had seen a ghost.

"Lorna?!"

"LORNA!" she spoke loudly, waving a hand in front of the woman's face.

Morello's head snapped up at this and locked eyes with Nicky.

"You okay?" asked Nicky towards her with concern.

Morello just murmured something in reply that Nicky couldn't make out. The smaller woman nodded her head slightly before down casting her eyes onto Piper, who was suddenly trying to sit up.

Morello then began to whimper again at the sight of Piper. Nicky immediately enclosed the distance between them and took Morello into her arms. "Sshhh," she whispered into Lorna's ear. She hated to see her scared like this. However, as Nicky tried to calm down Lorna, Piper was suddenly leaning over on her knees and being violently sick to her stomach.

"Shit!" swore Nicky as she felt the sudden wetness on her feet. She then tore her arms away from Lorna and turned her attention once again onto Piper. She could only handle one broken women at a time.

_Alex pressed her body against Piper._

_Using her own body heat to warm the other. They were both naked as they began to make love against the cold wood floors. Their mouths once again finding each other in the dark. Lips parted passionately open as their tongues coiled together in a dance. _

_Alex slid her hands down the side of Piper's neck and along the curve of her body. Her hand covered her left breast, gently caressing the soft flesh before moving it's way downwards. _

_Her lips began to trail down the exposed skin of Piper's neck and alone the slight curve of her collarbone. Her teeth biting down slightly on the flesh as her hand cupped Piper's sex. _

_A low moan escaped from Piper as she threw her head back and arched her back against the hard floor, pushing her hips into Alex's. Her hands roamed up and down Alex's bare back . Her fingers dug slightly into the flesh as Alex's hands rubbed at her. _

_Back and forth. _

_Back and forth. _

_Back and forth. _

_Her touch was soft and teasing on Piper's cunt at first; letting the pleasure build within her before deepening it. _

_Piper leaned forward and roughly kissed Alex as her trailed her hands to the woman's chest. Her fingers pulled roughly at the hardened peaks of her nipples. She wanted to feel Alex all over her. _

_She wanted to feel her inside her. _

_She wanted to feel her in her hands. _

_She wanted to feel her in her mouth. _

With some help from Lorna, Nicky was able to move Piper out of the shower stall and to drier ground against the bathroom wall. The poor girl was shaking and shivering as she clung onto the two women for support as she slumped herself against the wall. Tears were rolling down her cheeks as her teeth clattered loudly together. She didn't dare to say anything or to look into the eyes of Nicky and Morello. She couldn't handle to see her shame, reflected back at her. Piper hated herself more then ever at this moment. She had fucked up royally this time.

Every cut she had made on her leg had not been enough. She had always needed to do just one more. There had been a lot of blood. More then she had been expecting.

A deadly silence filled the room as Nicky wrapped Piper's towel around her shoulders. Piper tried to pull away as Nicky tried to look at the damage done to her leg. She was still bleeding slightly. But her body was weak and didn't have the strength to fight off the blonde.

"Fuck," swore Nicky under her breathe as she parted open Piper's legs and straightened it out slightly. Being a former junkie she had seen a lot of shit before but this was something else. Piper's thigh looked like a fucking train track. The cuts were all fresh, she noted. She didn't dare to touch them, she only observed with her eyes. She could tell by the deepness of a few of them, that Piper would need stitches in order for them to heal properly.

"Fuck," she swore again as she pushed her massive mane of hair out of her face. She didn't know what to do about this. A part of her wanted to get Alex but she knew the woman would go ape shit if she saw Piper like this.

The ideal thing would be to get Piper to the infirmary and looked at. But it was closed at this hour and the moment they saw the hacking job done to her leg, they would surely either send her back to SHU or psych for her own protection.

She then looked up at Piper's face. Her eyelids were being to droop. "Hey Kid, stay with me!" whispered Nicky as she reached out and touched the side of her face. She needed her to stay awake. Piper could have a possible concussion

Piper's eyes fluttered opened at this and focused on Nicky. She nodded her head slightly in reply. A shiver then shook through her shoulders, violently.

"I'm going to attempt to clean the wounds a bit, okay Chapman?" asked Nicky in a low tender voice towards Piper. She knew that Piper was waiting for a lecture but this wasn't the time for that. Nicky then rose to her feet, clenching the towel she had wrapped around her body, tighter around her bust before reaching for the toilet paper roll that Piper had brought with her. Tearing a few squares off, she then wetted it slightly in the puddle of water on the floor before being to clean around the wounds carefully.

A wave of pain shot through Piper's body at this. A low whimper escaped from her lips as every nerve in her body stung. Piper was feeling a wave of emotions at this moment. Pain, guilt, shame, and fear coursed through her body at once. As she continued to watch as Nicky was bent over her leg, carefully attending to her cuts, a fresh set of tears fell down her cheeks. "I'm sorry," she murmured. Her voice came out horsed and dry.

Nicky looked up briefly at this. She gave Piper a slight smirk in reply before going back to her leg, "You don't have to apologize, Chapman."

As all this happened, Morello sat there in complete shock. She didn't know how to comprehend all that was happening.

_"Fuck me!" demanded Piper in between wet sloppy kisses. _

_Her body was raiding with desire and pleasure for this beautiful woman on top of her. She had her hands clenched on either side of Alex's face as her tongue pushed it's way into the depths of her mouth. Her hips flexing against Alex's fingers, which were now pumping rapidly in and out of her. _

_Alex's fingers tenderly stimulated her g-spot. Her fingers curved slightly as slowly added a third digit. _

_"Baby!" cried out Piper as she broke apart breathily from the kiss and fell back onto the floor. Her heart raced with excitement as the warmth of pleasure spread through entire body. _

_Alex smiled into the curve of Piper's neck as she continued to press her self into her. She couldn't believe how turned on Piper was at the moment. She was so damn wet and she loved it. Placing a open mouth kiss on her neck, she slowly added a fourth digit into Piper, slowly stretching her open further. _

_"Fuck!" swore Piper as her hands clawed at the surface of the floor, looking for something to latch onto as her pressed her heels down and widened her legs for Alex. What she was doing felt like heaven. It was nothing like she ever experienced before. She'd had amazing orgasms before but nothing quite like she was experiencing now. _

_Alex continued to slowly and tenderly work her fingers into Piper, until she was loose enough to slip her entire hand into her. _

_Piper gasped at this. She was both surprised and extremely aroused by this. She was use to having three fingers inside her but not a whole hand. Alex moved her hand slowly in and out of her, allowing for Piper to get use to the size. _

_They continued on like this for a moment longer. The sounds of their love making echoing through out the empty apartment. Piper's whimpers and moans of pleasure. As well as the sound of Alex's hand thrusting against Piper's wetness. _

_Piper was close to coming as Alex felt her vaginal walls contracting against her wrist. Alex leaned forward and kissed the patch of skin between Piper's breasts at the same time as she switched positions. She then slide her hand slightly out of her, leaving only four fingers inside, while she lay her thumb over her clit. _

_"Come for me!" she whispered raspy into Piper's ear as she pressed her fingers into the hot flesh, squeezing slightly. _

_Piper grunted in response as Alex deepened her touch. Her body felt like it was on fire as Alex continued to touch her. She couldn't last much longer as a shiver of pleasure came over her. _

_"FUCK!" swore Piper as her orgasm came and intensely. She squeezed her eyes shut as her moaned out loudly. Her back arching and pressing her shoulders painfully into the floor. She craved more. Her hips flexed against Alex's hand, making her touch go deeper. _

_Alex continued to move her fingers rapidly in and out of Piper. She wouldn't stop until Piper begged her too. She wanted to see how long she could make her last. _

_This lasted for a few moments longer before something very unexpected happened. As Alex continued to squeeze and press her fingers in Piper, she felt a sudden spray of liquid brush against her skin. _

"What the fuck?"

Nicky immediately looked up and over at Alex at this.

Alex had been attending to take her usual morning shower when she stumbled upon the trio. Her green eyes locked with Nicky's before drifting over to Piper. Like Morello, she didn't know how to comprehend the scene before her.

"What the fuck?" she asked again, this time her voice was louder and more forceful. She was talking directly to Nicky as she slowly took a step towards Piper. She wanted to know why they were all half naked.

Nicky stopped attending Piper's cuts at this and stood up, blocking Alex slightly from the blonde. She knew she couldn't keep Alex from seeing Piper but she needed for Alex, not to get upset. It wouldn't help matters. "Just be cool, Vause," she whispered as she locked eyes with the taller woman.

Alex just glared at Nicky before drifting her eyes onto Piper, who looked like a broken doll at the moment. She couldn't tell if she was a wake or not. Her hair was hiding her face from her. She then slowly looked back at Nicky and nodded her head. "Okay," she whispered in reply before Nicky took a step aside and allowed for Alex to go to Piper.

"Fuck kid," whispered Alex as her eyes fell onto the red swollen skin of Piper's leg. Her green eyes immediately filled with tears. What had Piper done to herself? she thought as she slowly took the seat beside Piper. She put her toiletries aside and immediately pulled Piper to her. She just want to hold her. She cradled Piper's head into her hands, while she lay it gently in her lap.

"Alex," cried Piper as she looked up at her.

"Hey Kid," replied back Alex, forcing her face into a small smile. She blinked back her own tears as she continued to look down at Pipers. Her face was filled with such raw emotion. She had never seen Piper like this before. It broke her heart. She then gently began to caress the side of Piper's face. Her eyes never leaving Piper's.

"She's lost a lot of blood," comment Nicky, who was once again attending to the cuts. "She must have cut herself too deeply. If me and Morello hadn't walked in on her when we had, she would have probably bled out by morning."

Alex didn't want to hear this but she listened all the same to Nicky. She pursed her lips as she continued to gaze down at Piper, who eyes were half open now. She was murmuring something, but she couldn't make it out.

"I tried to clean her up as best as I could but she needs to get checked out. I think she might need stitches," continued to explain Nicky, who now was making a makeshift bandage out of Piper's night gown. She needed something to put pressure to the cuts.

Alex nodded her head as she continued to focus her attention on Piper.

_Alex fussed her eyebrows together slightly in confusion but she didn't stop. _

_She had just struck gold. _

_She eased her touch slightly, removing one finger, so now there was only three within Piper. She brushed the pads of her fingers again against Piper's G-spot in hopes of gaining the same reaction from before. _

_And she wasn't disappointed. _

_A quick second later, she was hit with another spray of liquid. It came out of Piper like a fountain. _

_Piper was panting and moaning with ecstasy. "ALLEEXXX" She yelled out loudly. The blonde didn't care who heard her. She just wanted to feel. _

_"FUCCCKKK!" she screamed out again as another orgasm hit her. _

"What do we have hear? This some kind of lesbian orgy?" asked Pornstache, an amused look playing on his face as he stepped into the bathroom.

Nicky and Alex froze at this and looked coldly up at the CO. They had been in the process of moving Piper, who was still fairly weak and disoriented from the bathroom and back to her bunk. Alex had stripped down to her underwear and bra so that Piper could have her night gown to wear. She had wrapped her self in Piper's towel.

As the three continued to stare at one another for a moment longer, the amused look drained from Pornstache's face. He didn't looked pissed off or anger. There was more of a look of puzzlement on his face as he took in the wade of bloody toilet paper on the floor, to the some what out of Piper, who was still slump liked a rag doll against the wall.

"Inmates! What the fuck is going on?" asked the CO as his eyes took in the crying Morello, who was still seated on the floor, and then back to Nicky and Alex.

Both women looked away from him and exchanged a look with one another.

_"Well, I can defiantly say you christened the place," chuckled Alex as she leaned back onto her heels and looked down at the small pile of liquid at her feet. "Who would have thought you were a squirter, Pipes?!" _

_Piper didn't say anything in reply as she lay there, trying to catch her breathing. She felt very exposed at the moment. There were unshed tears in her eyes and she didn't no quite why they were there? She was suddenly overcome with the need to be alone but at the same time she didn't have the strength in her bones to move. She felt extremely weak and vulnerable as she continued to lay on the cold floor naked. _

_Alex, who sensed the blonde's sudden discomfort rose to her feet. She walked away from where Piper lay for a second and towards the bedroom, her foot steps echoing through the room. _

_She was gone for a short moment or two before returning with the comforter from the bed in her arms. She lay it out on the floor beside Piper before leaning suddenly over her. Alex pressed her face close to Piper's. _

_The two women locked eyes with each other for a second before Alex kissed her softly on the temple. She then in one fluid movement picked up Piper in her arms and placed her down onto the sheet. _

_Piper shivered slightly as a wave of coldness washed over her. Alex, gently brushed the hair away from her face before caressing her cheek. She pressed a quick kiss to Piper's lips before standing suddenly up. _

_Alex then gently tugged the other the side of the comforter around Piper, like a makeshift cocoon. _

_Piper closed her eyes and immediately curled herself into a ball. She was suddenly exhausted. _

_Alex watched her for a second longer before walking into the kitchen and retrieving the roll of paper towels that had been left behind from the previous owners. She then quickly cleaned up the mess on the floor before returning back to Piper. _

_She lifted the corner of the comforter slightly before quickly sliding underneath it. She pressed her body up against Piper's backside, spooning her. She wrapped an arm around her hip, and pressed the palm of her hand into Piper's stomach. She placed a kiss to the back of Piper's neck. _

_She was there for her. _

_Neither spoke a word to each other as they continued to snuggle in the cocoon. The heaviness of their breathing filling the stillness of the room. _

"Fuck," swore Mendez underneath his breath as he unlocked the door of the infirmary and held open the door as Alex carried Piper inside. Nicky had stayed behind to clean up the mess in the bathroom and attend to Morello, who was still in shock.

Pornstache couldn't believe that this was happening to him again. He didn't understand why he always got the suicidal inmates on his watch. After his suspension at Christmas, he couldn't afford another incident. He would be surely fired this time if an inmate died on his watch. And it wasn't just his ass he needed to save but Chapman's as well. He felt for the girl. She had been through a lot and since Daya, he found himself being more compassionate towards the inmates. Which, to him wasn't a good thing. He was losing his edge it seemed.

After Nicky and Alex had told him the truth, that Piper had been found cutting herself and needed medical attention. He said he would help out. This had shocked both Vause and Nichols.

"Do you really know what you are doing?" asked Alex out of curiosity as she folded her arms over her chest and glared over at Mendez as he closed the door behind him. Piper was laid out on the bed that occupied a good portion of the room.

"Yes, Vause I do," replied Pornstache with an edge to his tone. "If you must know, before I landed this lovely job, I was training to be a paramedic." He had lasted about six months before dropping out. It was there he realized he couldn't handled the sight of blood. But he had learned the basics of stitching up cuts and such.

Alex just raised a single eyebrow in surprise at this but didn't question the man any further. She just was happy that Pornstache had found his heart and was willingly helping Piper. Instead of just reporting the incident and sending them all away to SHU or something. She knew he was just doing a good portion of it for himself and to keep their months shut on how he was not doing his job properly. But she didn't care.

She then turned her attention onto Piper, who was looking up at her.

"Pipes," she whispered as she smiled down at her. She ran a gentle hand up the side of Piper's face, caressing the skin. With her free hand she then took Piper's hand into her own and gave it a squeeze.

She was there for her.

* * *

Thanks for reading and please leave a review.

Julie


	13. Chapter 13

Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

Thanks again for all the reviews and support! :)

* * *

Nine stitches later, Piper was allowing Alex to lead her out of the infirmary and back into the dorm room. It was just passed six in the morning now. Everyone was still asleep for the most part. Piper didn't say a word as Alex rested a hand on the small of her back and lead her to her bunk. Piper's bunkmate, Berry was not there anymore. She was an early riser and had gone to the showers. Piper was grateful for this. She didn't need an audience while she dressed.

Alex motioned for Piper to carefully to take a seat on the bed while she began to get Piper's uniform ready for her. Piper was still in her nightgown, well Alex's nightgown.

"Come on Pipes," whispered the older woman tenderly as she locked eyes with Piper and began to reach for the edge of the night gown. She was going to help her get dressed before going for breakfast.

A pain stricken look appeared on Piper's face as she bit down on her lower lip and looked away from Alex's green orbs. Her hands clenched at the shirt she was wearing. She was suddenly nervous to undress. Even know her leg was now stitched up and bandage, she could still feel the cuts burning. She knew they were there. If she undressed, everyone would see them too.

"Pipes," whispered Alex again, realization setting in, on why Piper was resisting taking the shirt off. She then knelt down at Piper's feet and reached out for the clean pair of underwear that lay on top of the uniform. She then carefully lifted Piper's foot up and slide it through them, ankle by ankle. She pulled them up until they were at Piper's knees. She then slowly helped Piper stand as the blonde slowly leaned on her for support as she slide the cotton panties up the rest of her legs.

Alex, who had an arm wrapped supportively around Piper's shoulder reached out with the other for the uniform pants. A small smile appeared on her face as she met Piper's eyes briefly. She could feel the fear and embarrassment coming off of her but she continued to hold her close. She wanted Piper to know she wasn't going to leave her. She was here, no matter what.

Once Piper had the khaki pants on she motioned for Alex to turn around. "No Alex," she whispered in a saddened voice. She didn't want her to see what had become of her body. The flatness of her chest. The bones of her ribcage. The sharpness of her pelvis bone.

Alex opened her mouth to protest but quickly closed it. A saddened look crossed her face as she continued to look on at Piper before nodding her head in understanding. "I will go get dress myself, Kid but I will be back in five minutes. You still need to eat," She spoke in a whisper as she enclosed the space between them and planted a soft kiss on the edge of Piper's mouth.

Alex didn't care who saw them at that moment. She only cared about Piper and getting her through her own personal hell.

Piper tried to blink away the tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes as she nodded her head slowly in understanding towards Alex.

A small smile appeared on Alex's face at this, "I will be back Kid!" And with that the older woman turned on her heel and walked out of the bunk. She was still wearing only Piper's towel around her.

Piper watched as she left, before turning her back to the door. She licked her chapped lips as she slowly brought the edge of the night gown up, exposing the skin of her stomach inch by inch. She brought the material up to her nose and closed her eyes briefly as she inhaled the familiar smell that was Alex. In all the years that had passed, she still smelt the same.

_"Good Morning," whispered Piper towards Alex. _

_Alex, who was still half-sleep just grunted in reply. A wide grin appeared on Piper's face as she continued to study her sleeping girlfriend. It was the next morning and they were still on the makeshift bed on the floor. _

_Piper then slowly popped her self up onto her elbow and ran a hand tenderly down Alex's chest, the pads of her fingers brushing ever so slightly up against her nipple. _

_Alex let out a small moan at this. _

_Piper repeated the movement, before running her hand back up to the side of Alex's neck. She then gently began to caress the side of Alex's face. The edge of her thumb brushing up against Alex's lower lip. _

_"Cut it out," murmured Alex, attempting to bat Piper's hand away. Her eyes were still closed in sleep. _

_Piper just chuckled at this. "Cut what out?" she asked innocently as she leaned forwarded and began to place a trail of kisses up Alex's arm. Her thumb one again brushing up against Alex's lips. _

_She continued on like this for a moment longer, gently touching and kissing Alex, teasingly before stopping suddenly. An idea flashing in her mind. _

_Alex, immediately turned onto her side and looked up at Piper through half-closed eyes as she rose to her feet. "What are you doing?" she asked in confusion as Piper began to get dressed. She didn't understand why she was suddenly leaving. _

_"Sleep," whispered Piper as she came back over to where Alex lay. "Sleep, baby!" She then leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Alex's mouth. "I will be back soon!" She ran a tender hand down the side of Alex's jaw line before rising again. _

_Alex just nodded her head slightly in reply as she listened as Piper walked towards the front door. _

_A moment later, the blonde was gone. _

_Alex, once again closed her eyes and fell back to sleep._

Alex smiled encouragingly at Piper as she took the seat opposite of her. The cafeteria was dead. Breakfast had just started.

"You should eat something," commented Alex, her green eyes boring into Piper's blue ones. They had been seated for a good ten minutes and Piper hadn't touched anything on her tray.

"I'm not hungry," murmured Piper as she looked away from Alex and scanned her eyes over the room. She knew that Alex was trying to help her but she wasn't in the mood to eat. She much rather go to bed but had been told to stay a wake for the next 24 hours or so. Pornstache thought she might have suffer a concussion.

Alex just raised her eyebrows at this, a slight frown appearing on her face. Piper had always had a healthy appétit, that she had known her. She hated how she was basically starving herself now. "Humour me, please?" she asked in a tender voice, reaching across the table and lightly touching Piper's hand.

Piper turned her head back onto Alex at this. She held the woman gaze for a second before closing her eyes briefly and letting out a deep breathe. The back of her head was still throbbing from where she had hit it against the bathroom floor. There was also a small abrasion along the back of it. It hadn't needed stitches though.

"You okay?" asked Alex out of concern as she watched as Piper suddenly lay her head down on the table beside the tray.

"My head," murmured Piper, not bothering to open her eyes. She felt Alex's fingers on her forehead but she still held her eyes closed shut. A sudden wave of nausea coming over her.

"You need to eat something," whispered Alex again. She knew that Piper was in a lot of pain but she needed to get something in her system. She carefully brushed the hair off of Piper's face before reaching for the cup of tea on Piper's tray. "At least drink something," she continued on as her hand nudged at Piper's shoulder.

Piper grunted at this but slowly lifted her head and looked once again at Alex.

"It's tea with honey," explained Alex as she held out the cup for Piper to take. She still remember all these years later how the blonde took her tea.

Piper nervously licked her chapped lips as she took the surprisingly hot cup in both hands. The tea at prison was usually weak and lukewarm. She, blew slightly on the liquid before taking a small sip. A slight smile appearing on her face as a wave of familiarity and comfort washed over her. The tea tasted like home.

Alex couldn't help but smile as she continued to watch Piper. She had asked Red if she had any Red Rose tea that she could brew for Piper, instead of the usual generic tea that the prison brewed in large amounts in the morning. Red, who had understood the special request, told her she would see what she could do.

Neither women spoke a word as Piper continued to drink her tea in silence. The tea was helping settle her stomach. Once she had drained the remainder of the cup, she glared at Alex. "Happy?"

"A little," smirked Alex at the blonde. "But you still need to eat something, Pipes." She then reached across the table and lifted up the bowl full of oatmeal to Piper's face. "Eat!" she mouthed.

Piper made a slight face at this.

She hated oatmeal.

Alex let out a raspy chuckle at this, she hadn't forgotten that Piper didn't like oatmeal. She lowered the bowl back onto the tray before reaching for the spoon. "I will feed you," she whispered tenderly as she scrapped the side of the bowl with the spoon and lifted it up to Piper's mouth.

Piper's blue eyes widen slightly in response at this. She nervously looked passed Alex's shoulder towards the door, making sure that they were alone before resting her eyes back onto the older woman.

An intimate look was then passed between the two women as they locked eyes with one another.

Piper had two opinions, she could allow Alex further in or push her away like she had done in the pass. Sudden tears filled her eyes as the thoughts began to swirl in her mind. There was no doubt that she didn't love Alex. But she was afraid to love again. So much had changed within her. She didn't know if she had the ability to let someone love her when she didn't have the ability to love herself. She knew that Alex wasn't asking for the world here. Just to merely feed her. But Piper couldn't help herself but over think.

If she allowed for Alex to feed her, then that would be one wall down. A wall she had built up over time to protect herself from rejection again. She didn't know if she could risk it again. To trust Alex again? To trust herself again when it came to loving this woman? Her and Alex were like playing with fire. One of them always seemed to get burned.

Alex cocked an eyebrow as she continued to stare at Piper, the spoon raised to her lips. She could sense that the blonde was deep in through about something. She just couldn't place what it was. She pursed her lips as she continued to peer at Piper. A sudden feeling of dread washed over her. She was scared that Piper would push her away.

Piper closed her eyes and tried to compose herself. She was tired of crying and being a fucking mess. "Okay," she whispered as she reopened her eyes and once again looked on at Alex.

A small smile appeared on Alex's face at this. Her sudden fear going away as she sat up a little straighter in her seat.

"Here comes the choo-choo train," she teased in a low voice as she brought the edge of the spoon to Piper's mouth.

Piper couldn't help but roll her eyes at Alex as she parted open her lips and allowed for Alex to feed her.

Piper couldn't help but make a face of disgust as she felt the cold, mushy texture of the oatmeal against her tongue. She hated oatmeal. Every since she was a little girl and was forced to eat it for breakfast. "Happy?" she asked towards Alex as she forced herself to swallow.

Alex smiled in reply to this, "Very much!"

It was at that moment, everything seemed normal between then two women. Like it had been before Christmas. Before the shit had hit the fan. Piper was smiling and talking to Alex. She was finally taking her walls of protection down and allowing Alex, once again in.

However, the moment didn't last for much longer.

"You better watch it college," came Pennsatucky's voice suddenly, breaking them a part. Both Piper and Alex looked immediately over at the small woman standing at the edge of the table, smirking.

"You remember last time you were lesbian together? You were sent to SHU," the meth head looked from between Alex and Piper as this. "You wouldn't want to get sent down there again, now would ya? Mr. Healy would be awfully upset to hear about this College!"

A cold chill ran down Piper's back at the mention of Healy. Her eyes widened in fear as she continued to look on at Pennsatucky. There was a smug look on the hillbilly's face that Piper couldn't place. Did she know what Healy did to her? Where they some how working together to bring her down? Was Pennsatucky just bluffing or was she serious? Would she tell Healy about what she saw?

Piper couldn't think straight as she continued to stare at Doggett with fear. She couldn't afford to upset Healy again. He would defiantly sent her to SHU again if given the chance or do much worse to her. He had a weird obsession to control her,it seemed.

"Fuck off, Doggett," snapped Alex as she suddenly rose to her feet. She was tired of this little girl running around and causing trouble. She didn't understand why she kept on going after Piper like she was now. Hadn't she learnt her lesson the first time around at Christmas? That if you pushed Piper's buttons hard enough, she would snap back and push back even harder.

Pennsatucky tore her eyes away from Piper and over at Alex. She still had the smug look on her face but there was slight fear edge in her eyes. No matter how much talk she talked, Alex always scared her. She still remembered Alex's threat on her. To Rape her when she slept.

The two women continued to glare at each other, holding their ground when Bennett approached the table. "There a problem here, ladies?" asked the young CO as he looked between Alex and Pennsatucky.

"No," they both murmured in reply.

Bennett wasn't convinced at this as he continued to study them sternly before telling Pennsatucky to move along.

Pennsatucky pursed her lips at this, glancing over at the CO before glaring back at Alex. "Dyke," she whispered underneath her breath towards the older woman before picking up her tray and moving away from the table.

"Ouch!" called out, Alex sarcastically as she watched as Doggett walked away.

The meth head, glanced over her shoulder at this and met Alex's eye.

Alex just smiled sheepishly at her before turning her attention onto Piper.

_"Where did you go?" asked Alex as she sat up on the floor and looked over at Piper, who was busy in the kitchen. _

_"Starbucks!" called out Piper, before she appeared suddenly beside Alex, holding out a white paper cup towards her. "Venti Americano!" She whispered before placing a quick kiss on Alex's lips. _

_"You, remembered!" whispered Alex, a smile appearing on her face as she took the cup from Piper's hand and locked eyes with her. It had been ages, when they had first started going out that Alex had told Piper her chose of drink at Starbucks. She was touched that she remembered. _

_Piper just smiled proudly at Alex at this. She tilted her head slightly as she touched her temple with her finger, indicating she never forgot things like these. _

_The two women continued to smile at one another before Piper turned away and went to retrieve her own drink. After allowing for Alex to sleep for a few more hours, Piper had gone out to the store to get not only coffee but food. She was planning on making Alex, breakfast in bed. Another one of her favourites, Western Omelettes._

_Alex rubbed the sleep away from her eyes at the same time as she took a long sip from her paper cup. A satisfying sound escaped from her lips as she lowered the cup from her hand and squinted over at Piper, who was back in the kitchen. _

_"What are you making Kid?" she asked out of curiosity, "It smells fucking amazing!" _

_"Another one of your favourite things to have in the morning," replied Piper over her shoulder. _

_Alex's brows fussed together slightly at this. There was only one thing that came to mind that she liked to have in the morning and that didn't need no making. "You?" she asked in a playful voice. _

_Piper turned around at this and just glared at her girlfriend. "Is everything about sex with you?" she asked, teasingly. "No, it's something you can eat." _

_"Pussy?"_

_Piper just rolled her eyes at Alex before turning abruptly away from her and once again attending to the stove. _

_Alex just laughed at this before taking another sip of her coffee. _

Piper was extremely quiet as Alex helped her out onto the track. After Doggett's run in, Piper had once again shut her self off from Alex. The playful, flirty moment between them was gone.

Piper hadn't allowed Alex to feed her but she had finished off the entire bowl of oatmeal, despite the protest of her stomach. Alex had at least been happy to see her eat.

It was Saturday, Alex's day off. She was grateful for this. She didn't want to have to leave Piper. She sensed whatever Doggett had said earlier had hit a nerve with her and she had good idea if didn't just have to do with the mention of SHU. There was something more to it then that.

She just had to figure out what.

It was Alex's idea to come out onto the grounds. It was warm out now as they processed to the furthest part, away from the prison. Alex was hoping that the fresh air and sunshine would help clear Piper's head and maybe getting her talking a little again.

Piper swayed slightly as Alex let go her. She reached out immediately with two hands out to the chain of the fence. She closed her eyes as a sudden wave of vertigo came over her. She was still weak from all the blood she had lost the previous night.

"Easy there kid," spoke Alex as she immediately placed her hands on Piper's waist to support her from falling. She then slowly turned her around and helped her take a seat on the grass.

Piper whimpered slightly in pain as she stretched out her legs. She leaned her back into the fence. Her blue eyes looked blankly out onto the muddy track. She didn't dare to look over at Alex, who was now seated beside her on the grass. The older woman had her legs crossed and was facing in to Piper, slightly. She knew that Alex wanted her to look at her but she couldn't. She knew that the moment she stared into those green orbs she would fall apart.

She couldn't go there. Not yet that was.

Alex's eyes bore into the side of Piper's face as they continued to sit in silence. She didn't want to push Piper but she didn't want her to close off on her again. She pursed her lips together as she debated what to do. A deep breath breathe then escaped from her as she slowly reached out and took Piper's hand, which was laying in the space between them.

Piper didn't flinch or pull away like she had been expecting her too. This was a step, she thought.

_"How are you feeling from last night?" asked Alex as she kissed the back of Piper's neck. _

_They had just finished eating breakfast, and was once again smuggled up on the make-shift bed on the floor. Piper was seated in between Alex's bare legs, her arms wrapped protectively around her._

_"I'm a little swore," admitted Piper as she leaned slightly back into Alex's embrace. Her hand gently running along Alex's thigh. _

_"Are you too swore for a round two?" asked Alex as she once again kissed the back of Piper's neck. She ran her hands up the front of Piper's hoodie and cupped her breasts gently through the material. _

_Piper turned her head around at this and locked eyes with Alex. She smiled seductively at her before capturing her lips into a soft kiss. She was more then open to another round. __The kiss soon deepened as Piper's tongue parted open Alex's lips and began to explore the depth of her mouth. She moved her body swiftly so that she was now facing Alex. _

_Alex's legs wrapped themselves tightly around Piper before falling back onto the floor, bringing her down with her. _

_Piper pressed her body into Alex's as she pinned her hands on either side of her. The kiss continued to grow with passion as Alex ran her hands down the front of Piper's chest and slowly undid the zipper of the heather grey hoodie she was wearing. Her hands groped at her small perky breasts. _

_A wide grin then spread across Alex's face as she realized Piper wasn't wearing a bra. _

Piper began to cry suddenly.

She rocked herself back and forth, making the fence jingle slightly as her back came into contact with it.

Alex watched as she did this. Over and over again. She hated how Piper was tormenting herself like this. It was driving her mad not to take Piper forcefully by the shoulders and shake her. To tell her to snap out of it. But she knew she couldn't do that. It wouldn't get her any where.

However, she couldn't just sit there any longer in silence. The wait was killing her. She needed to know.

"Why did you do it, kid?" There was no judgement or anger in Alex's voice as her green eyes continued to bore into Piper, just curiosity. She just wanted to understand why Piper was doing this to herself.

Piper stopped her rocking and immediately looked over at Alex. Her blues eyes were filled with emotion. What Alex had asked her was a loaded question. She opened her mouth to say something but then quickly closed it again.

She wanted to tell Alex about all her troubles and pain but at the same time, she was scared too. She wasn't afraid that Alex wouldn't believe her. She just didn't know where to start. There was no, one clear answer to give, it seemed.

A blanket of silence then fell over the two women, as Piper looked away briefly and tried to muffle through the mush of emotions and thoughts that currently made up her mind. And as Alex, patiently sat there, still holding Piper's hand in her own. Waiting for her to say something in reply.

"Healy," whispered out Piper suddenly as she once again turned her attention onto Alex.

"Healy," she whispered again as a new set of tears began to fall.

* * *

More to come soon! Thanks for reading and please leave a review!

Julie


	14. Chapter 14

Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

I should be really finishing my thesis work at the moment but couldn't seem to stop thinking about this chapter. So here it is, earlier then planned.

* * *

Alex just stared at Piper for the longest time.

She didn't know what to say to this. What about Healy? What did this have to do with him? What had he done to her? She swallowed slightly as her eyes continued to appear on at Piper, who once again was looking away and out onto the track.

"What the fuck did he do to you, Pipes?" she asked in a whisper. She was trying to keep her sudden anger at bay. She didn't want to upset Piper any further then she already was but she was pissed off.

Piper just shook her head violently back and forth. She couldn't say it. She knew the moment she told Alex about what had happened in Healy's office, that the woman would go ape-shit. She didn't want Alex to do anything stupid and get into trouble. She knew what Alex was capable of when she thought someone she cared about was hurt. She had seen it time and time again when they had gone out together and Piper had been hit on by sleazy men.

"What the _fuck_ did he do?" asked Alex once again towards Piper. Her face was just a mere inches away from hers. She needed to know.

Again though, Piper held off. She couldn't say it. "Noo," she moaned, shaking her head. She had already said to much. "It's nothing Alex!"

"Bullshit!" whispered Alex in reply, "That pig clearly did something to you Pipes to make you hurt yourself!" She wasn't allowing for Piper to get away with this. She wanted to know what that sicko Healy had done to her. She wasn't going to let it go like Piper wanted her too.

"Please," she begged. "Just tell me! I want to help you Piper!"

Piper just shook her head. Tears streamed down her face. She couldn't say it. It hurt to much. She then suddenly pulled her hand away from Alex and made an attempt to get up. However, she didn't get very far before falling to her knees. A wave of dizziness coming over her.

"Pipes," she heard Alex whisper again but she didn't look over at her. She immediately pulled her knees to her chest, ignoring the pain shooting through her upper thigh. She then once again began to rock, back and forth.

The two woman continued to sit in silence before Alex made another attempt to make her talk to her.

"Did he rape you?"

A low wail was released from the back of Piper's throat at this. She then scrunched up her face and once again shook her head at Alex.

"Piper, don't lie to me," whispered Alex, reaching out towards Piper on the grass. "Healy raped you, didn't he?" It was more of a statement then a question. She already knew the answer before Piper said anything. The answer was already there, written clearly on Piper's face.

"He...yes...no...I dunno," murmured Piper.

"What do you mean, you don't know?" asked Alex, in confusion, "Piper, what the fuck did he do?"

"He...He..." Piper stuttered over her words. She didn't know how to explain it.

"Did he touch you?" asked Alex. If Piper wasn't going to say it, she would guess it out of her.

Piper nodded her head slowly at this. Her blue eyes brimmed with tears as she glanced over at Alex, allowing reality to sink in. She knew she couldn't keep on pretending that it hadn't happened because it had.

The secret was out.

Alex inhaled sharply at this. There were tears in her eyes suddenly but she blinked them away and quickly. She couldn't fall apart or get upset. She knew she had to remain calm and cool for Piper's sake. However, at the moment, she really wanted to ring Healy's fat neck.

Alex didn't say anything else as she reach forwarded and took Piper's hand into her own. She knew it was a small gesture but she hoped it would give Piper some sudden comfort in knowing she was there for her.

A new set of tears began to fall down Piper's cheeks as she remembered suddenly the roughness of Healy's hands on her, lifting up her shirt. "He had locked the door..." Piper's voice was dry and low as she suddenly began to tell Alex what had happened, "I couldn't get out...He had his front pressed up against my back. I felt...his dick pulsing against my backside."

She paused for a brief moment as she sucked in her breathe before continuing on. "He held me tight...pushing me further up against the door...he slide his hands up my shirt..." her voice broke suddenly as she closed her eyes briefly and shook her head. She didn't dare to look over at Alex as she explained what happened next. "He wanted to teach me what a real man felt like. Not a pussy like Larry but a real cock, he said...He forced my mouth on to...it."She was crying quietly into herself now.

"I still can't get the taste of him, the feel of him out of my senses," she shook her head violently as she suddenly let go of Alex's hand once again and was leaning forward in the grass. She was going to be sick. And a moment later, her breakfast coming up in one fluid motion and reappearing on the grass.

Alex was immediately beside her and holding back her hair as she was violently sick to her stomach again.

_The music vibrated loudly all around them as they entered the crowded, dark club. _

_Piper clutched Alex's hand as she lead her towards the bar. _

_Piper did not want to be here at the moment. She wanted to be at home, smuggled up on the couch or in bed with Alex. There were a million things she rather be doing now then be here. It was Alex's last night in Northampton before she went on another world adventure of hers. _

_Alex had promised her that she would be quick. They were only at the club because Alex had been called in on a business matter. Whatever that meant, thought Piper. She knew about what Alex did for a living. How she was a drug importer for some big kingpin. And it scared Piper at times to think about it but she tried not to let it bother her. Alex was like no one she had ever met before. She was both thrilling and adventurist. _

_And that's what she loved about her. _

_"Baby," whispered Alex as she pulled Piper towards her, "I will be quick!" She knew that the blonde was less then thrilled with Alex's last minute business meeting, especially on their last night together but it had to be done. She then pressed her lips to Piper's before turning to signal to the bartender. _

_Piper just stood there sulking like at six year old as Alex ordered a beer for herself, and a rum and coke for Piper. _

_Alex wrapped her arm tightly around Piper's waist, her fingers brushing up roughly against the blonde's breast. She then pressed a open mouth kiss to the side of her neck as the two of them continued to wait for their drinks. She knew Piper was pissed at her. But she was hoping that once the younger woman had a drink or two in her that she would loosen up a bit. _

_They continued to stand there not saying anything, until their drinks were placed one by one onto the bar, in front of them. _

_"Baby, lighten up," whispered Alex again towards Piper as she continued to sulk. _

_"Fuck you," spat Piper towards her before grabbing her drink and storming off into the crowd of people, leaving Alex dumbfounded and alone at the bar. _

_"Hey, fuck you too!" whispered Alex in the direction that Piper had gone in. She then took her chilled beer and chugged it down. She needed a instant buzz if she wanted to get through this night. _

_Which she sensed would be a long one with how things were going so far. _

Alex was shaking with rage as she stormed into the kitchen where Nicky was.

The blonde was seated on the counter helping Red peel potatoes, she looked up immediately and locked eyes with the woman.

"Hey Vause," she spoke in greeting. They hadn't seen each other since earlier that morning. She was about to open her mouth to ask how Piper was doing but quickly changed her mind. She then shot a quick glance over at Red.

"Hey, Mommy," spoke Nicky, "Can ya give us a moment?"

Red just stared at her daughter for a second before glancing over at Alex and taking in the distress look of her. Red wasn't one to give dismissed from her own kitchen but she knew something had gone down with Piper. Nicky had mentioned it briefly to her but hadn't gone into detail.

She then turned her attention back onto Nicky, "I give you five minutes!" spoke the Russian cook before wiping her hands on the front of her apron and walking out of the kitchen, leaving the two woman alone.

Alex waited until Red had left before picking up the nearest object, which was a frying pan and hurled it across the room in frustration. The frying pan hit the wall and immediately crashed to the floor. The room echoed with noise for a second before becoming deadly quiet.

"Woah there Vause," spoke Nicky as she put aside her potato and jumped off the counter. "Pick on someone you own size!"

Alex just glared at the other woman at this. She wasn't in the mood to joke. She then ran her hands through her hair and closed her eyes, trying to calm herself down. She couldn't seem to keep her emotions at bay. She was fucking pissed off. She had never hated someone more then she did now. She fucking hated Healy and what he had done to Piper. She fucking loathed him. And she wanted to see him pay. She wanted to see him dead. Like most men that she knew, he was a fucking pig!

"AGGHH!" screamed out Alex as another wave of rage washed over her.

She pushed her glasses up onto her head before burying her face into her hands. She could feel Nicky's eyes on her, waiting for an explanation but she needed to calm herself first.

"How's Chapman?" asked the bushy haired blonde, she was now leaning against the counter and staring straight on at Alex. She knew that her anger was about what had happened with Piper. She always knew dyke drama when she saw it.

"She's..."replied Alex after a moment had passed. She didn't know how to describe how Piper was at the moment. "She's...will be...okay...I hope..."

"Where is she now?"

"She's lying down in her bunk," replied Alex as she put her glasses back on and stared at Nicky.

Nicky nodded her head slowly in understanding at this. Her hazel eyes were filled in concern for Alex. She had seen the woman wired up before but nothing like she was now. Something else had trigger her sudden mood then just Piper's incident last night.

"Are you okay? because you sure fucking don't seem like it! What's up?" Nicky's voice was filled with concern as she continued to glare at the raven haired woman.

Alex was silent for a moment before answering. "No, I am fucking not okay!" she spat, her voice again rising with anger. She glared at Nicky before she began to pace around the kitchen.

Nicky just cocked an eyebrow at this as she crossed her arms over her chest and waited for Alex to go on.

"Piper is messed up and I can't help her! I don't know how too!" she admitted sadly. She didn't know how to get Piper through this. She had seen a lot of shit in her life but nothing like this. She had never seen Piper so broken like she was now. And it was killing her she couldn't just take the pain away from her. This was not a situation she was in control of and she hated that. "She fucking butchered her leg up because she didn't know what to do! She is so broken, Nicky and I can't fix it! I can't take the pain away from her!" There were tears of frustration in her eyes as she continued to ramble. "SHU fucked her up! Healy fucked her up!"

"Healy?" asked Nicky, suddenly in confusion. What did he have to do with any of this?

"I fucking want to kill that sick son-of-a bitch!" cried out Alex, throwing her hands into the air. "So fucking much!"

"What did he do?" asked Nicky again, trying to once again get Alex's attention.

"What did he do!" cried out Alex as she suddenly stopped pacing and turning her attention fully onto Nicky. "WHAT THAT FUCKING BASTARD DID WAS RAPE HER!"

"Shit!" swore Nicky under her breathe. Her eyes were wide in disbelief. There were rumours that Mendez had raped Daya in December but she hadn't really paid attention. But this time she knew the victim. "Shit!" she swore again.

Alex let her tears fall as she looked suddenly away from Nicky. Piper hadn't wanted her to tell anyone else. But Alex couldn't hold the information in any longer. She knew she could trust Nicky.

Nicky ran a hand through her mane before looking over at Alex. If she knew Alex like she thought she did, she knew that Alex was plotting to get revenge on Healy.

Trying to take control of the situation, Nicky enclosed the space between her and Vause. "You can't do anything stupid, Vause," she spoke in a calm, cool voice. "I know you are pissed off and upset over what that bastard did. But you have to take a deep breathe and take a step back. If you do anything or even say something to Healy, he will have your ass in SHU for sure before you know what is happening."

Alex just glared at Nicky at this. She didn't like what she was hearing.

"And what good would you be to Chapman then, huh?" asked Nicky, raising an eyebrow, "Not very fucking good!"

Alex was silent for a moment. She knew that Nicky had a point. This wasn't the outside world. This wasn't some bar, where a sleazy drunk was hitting on her girl and she didn't like it. This was prison and she couldn't just go up to a CO and talk smack. But at the same time she was pissed off at her friend for not immediately agreeing with her that Healy had to die.

"What if it was Morello?" she whispered. "What if it was Lorna lying on that bathroom floor, bleeding out from cuts she put there. And then you found out it was because she had been raped and too fucking scared to tell anyone. Would you just sit there or would you fucking do something to make sure that bastard couldn't touch her again?"

Nicky raised her chin as she glared up at Alex. She held her breathe slightly. She knew that Alex had a point. If the tables had been flipped and she was in Alex's shoes, she would totally go ape-shit on Healy. But she also knew what SHU was like and wouldn't go back there again if she could help it. "I would go to my girl and hold her and never let her fucking go. I would make her see that she was fucking loved. I would help her through her shit and pain," Nicky continued to glare at Alex as she spoke. Her voice was soft. She didn't want to upset Alex anymore then she already was but she needed to hear this. "Healy can wait. Chapman comes first."

Alex pursed her lips as she looked on at Nicky for a moment before turning away. She knew that Nicky had a point.

Piper needed to come first.

_Alex was barely listening to what her business clients were saying as she leaned slightly over the rail of the balcony and appeared down on the dance floor, where a certain blonde was. _

_Piper had been there the whole night, dancing up a storm. She was a little tipsy but she didn't care. She was having a good time as she bumped and grinded with complete strangers. _

_She wasn't always one for clubbing but she did love to dance. _

_After leaving Alex at the bar, Piper had finished off her drink before ordering two more shots for herself. She had found herself swaying slightly to the beat of the music as it continued to blare from the DJ booth. A group of girls her age had noticed her standing there alone and pulled her in to join them. _

_No longer did she care about Alex or her stupid business meeting. Piper Chapman didn't have a thought in the world as she allowed for the music to take over her and moved her body to the beat. _

_She didn't know how long she had been there. An hour, two...maybe three? She had lost all sense of time. And she didn't care. _

_As she closed her eyes and continued to dance in the middle of the dance floor, she felt the warmth of someone hands on her waist and pressed a kiss to the back of her sweaty neck. A smile appeared on her face as she turned around to face the person. _

_But the smile quickly drained from her face as she took in the unfamiliar face. She had thought it was Alex, coming to come dance with her. However it wasn't Alex. It was some man. _

_"Hey baby," he whispered, tightening his hold on her hip and pulling her closer. "I've been watching you dance all night and I like your moves." There was a sly smile on his face as he began to run his hand down the small of her back and cupped her ass. He pressed his hips further into hers. _

_"Get the fuck off of me!" she spat as she placed two hands on his chest and tried to shove him away. _

_The guy was taken back by her force and stumbled back a bit into the throng of people. His eyes darkened slightly in an amusement. He chuckled at Piper. "Who's feisty I see. I like that too!"_

_He then made an attempt at her again but before he could, Piper was pushing passed him and off of the dance floor. She had suddenly had enough._

_She wanted Alex and she wanted to go home. _

Nicky and Alex returned to the Suburbs together. Alex had left Piper lying on her bunk. She wanted to check up on her before lunch. She had asked Morello and Yoga Jones to watch her.

However as Alex approached Piper's bunk she was stopped by Morello. The small woman gave her a sadden smile. Alex just stared at her in puzzlement before looking over the woman's head and over to where Piper should had been. However, her bed was empty.

"Where's Piper?" she asked, trying to keep her emotions at bay. There could be a perfectly good reason to why Piper wasn't there. She could just be going to the bathroom or something but she knew that deep down, that wasn't the case. An uneasy feeling washed over her as she continued to glared down at Morello.

Morello frowned slightly in reply, "I know you said to watch her and stuff," squeaked the woman nervously. "And me and Yoga Jones were. but then..."

"Morello, where is she?" asked Alex again, her voice this time firmer.

"She got called into Healy's office," whispered out Morello. The small woman didn't know what had gone down between Piper and Healy. But she had seen the look of dread wash over Piper's face when her name had been announced on the P.A system.

"Fuck!" swore Alex as she turned immediately away from Morello and began to make her way out of the dorm again.

"Vause!" called out Nicky after her. She knew what she was thinking and didn't like it.

"Did I do something wrong?" asked Morello towards her lover, a sudden wave of guilt washing over her.

Nicky turned to look quickly over at her girlfriend, "No Lorna, you didn't." She touched her gently on the arm, reassuring her this wasn't her fault before turning on her heel and chasing after Alex. She was going to try and stop the woman before she did something stupid.

_"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!" cried out Piper in anger as she felt someone pull at her wrist. _

_"Hey, Kid," whispered Alex, smirking slightly as the blonde turned around and glanced at her. Her face softening immediately as she looked on at her. Piper had thought she had been that guy again trying to get in her pants. _

_Neither women said anything as they continued to look at one another. _

_Alex meeting had just wrapped up. She had saw what had happened on the dance floor between Piper and that creep. It had taken her a moment to figure out where she had gone too but quickly located Piper in the more quieter location on the club. It was in the small hallway were the bathrooms were. _

_A moment or two passed before Piper couldn't take it any longer, she was so relieved to see Alex. Piper threw herself at Alex. Her arms wrapping tightly around the older woman's neck as her tongue parted and focused it's way into Alex's mouth. _

_It was filled with such raw emotion and passion. _

_Alex, immediately kissed Piper back with the same force and passion. Her hands cupped the sides of Piper's hips, holding her close as the kiss continued to build. _

_She had missed her too._

Piper sat on the edge of her seat.

She was a ball of nerves as she forced herself to look on at Healy.

She tried not to think about the closed door as the two continued to sit in silence. Healy was just merely looking at her over the rims of his glasses. He was leaning back in his seat, feet on desk. There was a smug look on his face.

"So, Chapman we meet again," he spoke.

Piper tried to mask the emotion on her face as she continued to gaze on at Healy. She didn't want to show the fear that was coursing through her body.

"I wasn't expecting to see you so soon but I got you a new job assignment," he explained casually as he lowered his feet and leaned forward towards the desk. He then reached for a piece of paper and read from it. "Your on janitorial duty. I know it's not no laundry room, so you can hang out with your girlfriend and make out but we can't all have our cake and eat it too."

He smirked slightly at he leaned back in his seat.

Piper's eyes widened at the mention of girlfriend and laundry room. She knew he was talking about Alex but they had never made out before there.

"Don't look all surprised Chapman, I know all about your breakfast for two this morning. You think sitting close by the window, smuggled in the corner when breakfast starts that no one will see you? uh? You think this is your own little romantic getaway, don't ya?" There was an edge to Healy's voice as he continued to peer at her.

It then dawned on Piper how he knew all this.

Doggett.

They were working together.

She pursed her lips, trying to keep her face blank of emotion. She couldn't let Healy see the fear she was feeling. She wouldn't let him do what he did last time to her or worse.

Healy then suddenly stood up and came around the edge of the desk. He smiled slightly at her.

Piper pushed back the chair and tried to stand up but Healy caught her by the wrist. "SIT CHAPMAN!" he barked, pushing her back onto the chair.

Piper whimpered slightly but didn't break down. Her heart pounded loudly against her chest. A cold chill running over her. She closed her eyes briefly and let out a deep breath. She didn't have the strength to fight. She could feel the weakness of her muscles as she just sat there, staring back at Healy, waiting for him to make a move.

He just merely laughed, though at her.

"I didn't want to do this but I see another lesson is needed," he spoke in a firm voice.

Piper held her breathe as she listened to the sound of Healy's belt being up done. She didn't dare to look down and continued to focus on his face. She swallowed hard and blinked away the tears that threatened to fall.

Healy closed his eyes briefly as a low moan escaped from his lips. He opened his eyes suddenly and smirked when he noticed Piper watching him. "You know I think about the two of you..." His voice was low and husky as he continued to pump the shaft of his dick with his hand.

Piper narrowed her eyes and continued to keep her face blank of emotion. She wasn't going to let Heal get to her.

"Her hands cupping your little titties as your pressed up against a wall," He licked his lips as he deepened his touch on himself.

Piper hands gripped the armrest tightly. She tried to close out the sound of Healy's deep breathing, the sound of his hand smacking roughly up and down himself. She prayed he would be done soon and she would be able to leave. She knew that most men couldn't get it up more then once within a good hour or so. He would be done soon enough.

"You moan out with pleasure as she fingers suddenly your cunt. Your perfect pink _cunt_," He had his eyes squeezed closed now as a wave of pleasure washed over him. He was close to coming now as his mouth hung open.

A moment later, Healy let out a low animistic groan as he climaxed.

Piper watched him before standing up suddenly, this was her moment to leave. But as she stood, a sudden spray of wetness hit the front of her shirt. It took her by surprise but she didn't dare to think anything of it as a wave of adrenaline washed through her.

She needed to get away. She pushed passed Healy who was leaning against the desk, breathless from his orgasm. She needed to move quickly. She enclosed the space between the chair and the door quickly.

There was then a sudden pounding on the door as her hand came in contact with the knob.

"HEALY YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" came Alex's voice loud and clear on the other end.

Piper jumped back suddenly at this at hearing Alex's. "Alex!" she whispered, in hopes the other woman could hear her.

The door then burst open suddenly.

"What the fuck?" cried out Healy as he snapped back to reality. His pants were still around his knees and his dick hanging out. He immediately reached for them as all commotion broke out in the matter of seconds.

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" cried out Alex in rage and anger as she tried to latch out at Healy but Nicky was holding the back of her uniform.

"Don't Vause!" warned Nicky to the Alex.

"LET ME FUCKING GO NICKY! " cried out Alex as she tried to fight off the shorter woman. She was all kinds of anger at the moment. She fucking wanted to kill Healy. He knew exactly what he was doing.

Just then Caputo appeared on scene. He had been walking down the hallway when he saw both Alex and Nicky running down the hallway. Then hearing the screaming match going on at Healy's door.

"WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS GOING ON!?" spoke the loud voice of Caputo as he appeared behind Nicky and Alex. He looked between the two woman, to pushing his way pass them and into the office, where Healy was doing up his pants. "What the fuck!?"

Caputo didn't know what to make of all this, with Healy having his dick hanging out, With Alex swearing up a storm, yelling at Healy and Nicky holding her back. And then there was Piper, who was pressed up against the wall. This wasn't good he thought. He could not have another attempt rape on his hands. The Warrant would surely be up his ass then.

Everyone was shouting over one another. A crowd had gathered outside the hallway at hearing all the commotion.

"PLEASE SHUT UP!" screamed out Caputo suddenly as he tried to take control of the situation. His eyes were blazing as he stepped into the office and looked around at everyone.

Healy was standing further away from the door, hands up to his face. He knew he was screwed.

Alex had calmed down slightly but Nicky still had a tight grip on her, just in case she suddenly tried to latch out at Healy again.

Piper was still whimpering and pressed up against the wall.

A deadly silence then fell over them.

"NOW, can someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?" Caputo asked, trying to keep his voice firm.

Alex was the first to speak, "Healy is a fucking rapist!" she spat in disgust as she pointed at Healy. "He rapped Piper!"

Piper let out a muffled cry at hearing her name. She just wanted to go home she thought at that moment. She closed her eyes briefly in hopes that some how like in The Wizard of Oz, she would magically be transported back home if she just clicked her heels three times.

"That's a big assumption to make Vause," spoke Caputo looking sternly at the woman. "Are you sure you got your information right?" He cocked an eyebrow at her before glancing over at Healy.

The man's expression was hard to read. He didn't argue with Vause but he didn't agree with her either. The man remained silent on the matter. He just shrugged his shoulders as he locked eyes with Caputo.

Caputo frowned at this before looking back over at Alex. "I am more then fucking sure, sir," she replied, her voice as cold as ice as she looked straight on at Caputo for a moment before looking passed him to Healy.

"I see," murmured Caputo as he began to rub his forehead. He could feel a headache coming on. He then glanced over to Piper. She was defiantly in distress about something, he thought. He then noted the stain on the front of her uniform. "Shit," he swore again underneath his breath, this didn't look good at all.

* * *

I know, I know, I did it again! I'm sorry.

More to come soon! Thanks for reading and please leave a review!

Julie


	15. Chapter 15

Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

Again, you guys are amazing with the reviews!

* * *

Caputo dismissed everyone from the office, except for Healy and into the hallway.

There was still a crowd outside the room. Everyone was shouting over each other as the door closed behind Piper, who as the last one to leave.

"Chapman!?" cried out someone in the crowd. "What happened?"

"What's on your shirt?"

"Did Healy really rape you?"

Piper was bombarded with question after question as she stood pressed up against the office door. She felt like a deer caught in headlights. She didn't want all the sudden attention.

She stood there for a second before quickly pushing pass everyone and headed towards the bathrooms.

She just wanted to be alone and wash Healy from her. However, she wasn't going to get off that easily.

There were a few people on her trail. Nicky, Alex, Morello and a few others.

She could hear them calling her name but Piper pressed on. Tears streamed down her face as she continued to stumble into the bathroom.

She didn't bother to get undressed as she walked directly to the shower stalls and turned on the water. Usually, one let the water run a bit before stepping underneath it. Waiting for the water to warm. But Piper didn't care. She just wanted to feel clean as she stepped under the cold spray of the shower.

_Alex pressed Piper against the wall as they continued to kiss. _

_Theirs hands groped and roamed up of each other clothed bodies. They were still in the darken hallway of the club but neither cared as they continued to touch. It was just the two of them at the moment. _

_The loud sounds of the music blurring away as pleasure swept over them. They could only hear the pounding of each other's hearts as they raced with excitement. _

_"Let's get out of here!" purred Alex into Piper's ear as a moment passed and she suddenly broke away from Piper. _

_Piper locked eyes with Alex as this and nodded her head eagerly in agreement. She was more then ready to get out of here and head home. _

_Alex then once again kissed her hard and long before taking her by the hand and leading her back to where they had come from. _

No one spoke a word.

The entire room was still, except for the running water of the shower. No one knew what to say or do.

"Piper," whispered out Alex as she took a step towards Piper.

Piper had her back turned towards everyone. She was still standing underneath the shower in her uniform. She didn't hear Alex approach her from behind.

Alex came to stand beside Piper in the shower. She didn't care if she got wet as she turned off the facet and touched Piper lightly on the wrist. She didn't want to scare her but she needed to get her attention some how.

Piper jumped slightly at Alex's touch as she turned and looked at the other woman.

Alex smiled warmly at her. She then lead Piper out of the shower. The poor girl was shaking like a leaf, noted Alex as she ran her hands up and down Piper's arms, trying to bring some warmth back into her body.

Piper's teeth rattled as she continued to shiver.

"It's going to be okay," whispered Alex tenderly into her ear as she noted the fear edged on the blonde's face. She then pressed a kiss to the side of Piper's neck before pulling her to her chest. Alex looked immediately over at Piper shoulder, towards where the others stood.

She locked eyes with Nicky, who nodded her head in understanding. The blonde then left the bathroom.

Piper pressed her body against Alex's. She buried her face into the older woman's neck. Tears streamed down her face as her body began to shake with sobs.

"Ssshhh," murmured Alex as she ran her hand through Piper's soaking wet hair. "Sssshhhh," she murmured again. She was trying to calm Piper down as she continued to cry again her chest. She continued to stroke the back of Piper's head until Nicky returned with a clean uniform and towel.

Alex continued to hold Piper close as she reach out with a free hand for the uniform and towel. She mouthed a thank you to Nicky, who just nodded her head in understanding.

"Come on kid, let's get you dried off," whispered Alex tenderly as she turned her attention once again onto Piper. She then began to guide the blonde towards a clean stall.

"Let's give them some privacy," whispered Nicky as she turned and looked towards the other. Both Morello and Yoga Jones nodded their heads before leaving the shower area of the bathroom.

Piper was silent for the whole time as she allowed for Alex to undress her. Tears streamed down her face as she lifted her arms and allowed Alex to gently removed the soaking shirt from her body. Her body shook as a sudden chill settled over her.

Alex held her close, trying to keep her warm. She placed kisses along Piper's neck and shoulders as if kisses could heal her pain away. Her hands ran slightly up the sides of Piper's body. She just wanted her to feel warmth. "It's going to be okay," she whispered tenderly into her ear.

She held her like this for the longest time, kissing her upper neck and shoulders. She just wanted her to feel her love for her. Her hands rubbed up and down Piper's back. She tried not to think about how she could count each one of Piper's ribs. She had held Piper like this so many times in the pass.

But this time, it wasn't about sex.

It was about making Piper feel something.

To feel that she was loved.

_"Shit! It's freezing in here Alex!" cried out Piper as they entered the apartment. _

_They had been having trouble with their heating since moving in. They were in an older building. And didn't have central heating or Air. They only got heat really in the bedroom._

_"Well, I think I can warm you up," whispered Alex in reply as she shut the door behind her and smiled seductively at Piper. _

_Piper smiled slowly at this. Her eyes darkening suddenly with desire. _

_Alex continued to lock eyes with Piper for a moment longer before mouthing for her to come here. _

_Piper pursed her lips and shook her head slowly at Alex. Her eyes gleaming with mischief as she took a sudden step back from her. She was wanted Alex to chase her. _

_Alex's eyes darkened in annoyance slightly at this. She was both pissed off and amused by what Piper was doing. The older woman crossed her arms over her chest as she continued to look on at the blonde, who was slowly retreating away from her and towards the bedroom. _

_As she did so, she was shedding off every piece of clothing she had on one by one. Starting with her jacket, then her each one of her stilettos then next her skimpy black tank top, to her skinny black jeans to lastly to her g-string. _

_It looked like a bread of crumbs as Alex's eyes followed the trail, piece by piece to where Piper stood in the middle of the living room, just outside the bedroom. The moon light was casting into the room from the window, making Piper's body glow. _

_Alex couldn't help but let out a shuddered breath as she glance on at her girlfriend. She never looked so beautiful, then she did now, standing there. _

_Alex then began to shed her own clothes off with each step she took, following the trail that Piper had left. She removed her leather jacket first, dropping it to the floor beside Piper's. Before next stripping off the tight racer back tank she had on. Unlike Piper though, she didn't have the luxury to go braless. She then removed the black bra she had on, revealing her bare breasts. She then next undid the laces of her black combat boots she was wearing. Leaving her now in only her black skinny jeans. _

_The two woman were only now a foot or so away from each other. _

_Alex licked her lips, her eyes never leaving Piper's face as she undid the button of her jeans and pushed them down her long toned legs. She stepped out of them before kicking them to the side. _

_She stood there now in her underwear. She was testing Piper now. To see how long she could stand there in barely nothing before coming to her. _

_Sensing what Alex was doing, Piper lifted her chin slightly meeting Alex's challenge. It didn't help matters though that she was still freezing cold. Especially now since she was standing in the cold apartment, naked. But she was determined not to let her weakness show as she continued to look on at Alex, who was smirking slightly at her. _

"You should sleep," spoke Nicky towards Alex. They were in the wreck room playing cards together. Alex didn't want to be there. She wanted to be with Piper. But she couldn't at the moment. The blonde was in Caputo's office with the Warden telling her statement.

"You look like shit, Vause," continued on the blonde as she peered at Alex.

"Thanks Nichols," replied Alex dryly. "You really know how to charm a girl!" Her green eyes were dark with annoyance towards her friend. She licked her lips before playing her cards down on the table. She wasn't in the mood for Nicky's concern. She would be in fine. It was Piper she wasn't so sure would be fine.

Nicky just stared at Alex. She would've usually comeback with a sly remark or something but this wasn't the time. The situation with Chapman had everyone at the prison worried, especially all of those who are close to her. Everything kept on going downhill for her it seemed.

"Look, all I am saying is that you should rest for a bit before Chapman comes back and who knows how long she will be in there, talking," explained Nicky as she too lay down her hand of cards on the table. Her eyes locking with Alex's.

The two friends stared intensely at each other for a moment before Alex looked away. She pushed her glasses up on top of her head and buried her face in her hands. She had to admit she was exhausted both physically and emotionally.

Maybe a little cat nap would do her some good, she thought to herself as she lifted her head and rubbed away the sudden wetness on her lashes. She avoided to look at Nicky as she once again tried to compose herself. "Maybe I will go lie down for a bit," spoke Alex in a low voice as she adjusted her glasses back onto the bridge of her nose.

Nicky smiled slightly at her at this. "I will come get you if Chapman gets out."

"Thanks," whispered Alex in reply before slowly stand up from the table and leaving the room.

_Piper was the first to break. _

_She didn't care about the game she had started anymore. She only wanted to feel warm again. _

_She enclosed the space between her and Alex quickly. Her arms wrapping around the older woman's waist. She smiled shyly at her before kissing her. _

_Alex immediately responded to Piper's touch. Her hands cupping at her breasts as she returned the kiss. Their mouths fussed together as one. Their hands groped and touch at one another naked bodies. _

_They stood like this for a moment in front of the open window before Alex suddenly picked up Piper and began to carry her into the bedroom. However she walked passed the bed as she continued to attack Piper's mouth with her own and walked into the adjoining bathroom. _

_Piper was a little puzzled as Alex suddenly pulled away from the kiss and placed her down gently down on the seat of the toilet. _

_Alex ran a hand down the side of Piper's face, stroking her cheek softly. She smiled at her before pressing a quick kiss on her lips before standing up. _

_Piper didn't say anything as she continued to glance over at Alex, who was now bent over the side of the tub and was turning on the faucet. The room filled with the sound of running water. _

_Piper smiled at this. _

_This woman knew her too well, she thought. _

She was walking down the hallway when she overheard two meth heads talking. She stopped suddenly to listen.

"Healy got his ass fired," spoke one of the meth heads to the other, "He's packing up his office now as we speak."

"No shit!" commented the other one.

"If you ask me though," continued on the other to her friend, "Chapman got what she deserved. Served her right for what she did to Tiffany and Leanne. Chapman use to walk around this place like she was all high and mighty just cause she went to some fancy school. Now she barely speaks. Healy shut her up good with that cock of his! We should be thanking the man."

The two meth heads then laughed at this. The laughter died quickly from their lips though, when they noticed her standing there. "What do you fucking want?" asked the one who was speaking earlier.

She just glared at them for a moment. She would usually say something sly back but she didn't. "I want absolutely nothing!" she spoke, a fake smile appearing on her face as her voice dripped with sarcasm. She then raised both her hands and gave them the finger before heading on her way down the hallway.

She made sure that no one was around as she took a quick right turn. It was there she found herself in front of Healy's office. The door was ajar. She glanced quickly over her shoulder and down the hallway, making sure she was alone before stepping slowly inside.

She made sure not to touch the door knob with her hand but pushed the door open with her elbow. She made no noise as she stepped into the office. The door closing quietly behind her. Healy had his back to her and hadn't heard her come in.

She smiled slightly at this.

Her heart raced with anxiety as she slowly began to enclose the space between her and Healy.

A numerous of thoughts raced through her mind in the short matter of seconds as she continued to walk towards him. She had never done something like this before. She chewed on her lower lip as she breathed out through her nose.

It was now or never, she thought.

It was then her body and mind snapped into action as adrenaline coursed through her veins. She hated this man that stood before her and he deserved to pay for what he had done.

Her hands went straight to the back of Healy's neck. She had an arm wrapped powerfully around his neck.

Healy cursed at the sudden attack. He tried to turn around and fight her off. But she only deepened her touch around his fat neck. She held on for dear life, squeezing him with all her might before releasing her arm and grabbing the back of head with her hand. She then in one fluid motion snapped his head back before smashing it, face first into the desk.

Healy immediately went unconscious at this.

Her eyes studied the unconscious man for a second. His large body was limp now as it hung over the desk. His nose was broken and bleeding. There was also a ugly gash on top of his forehead, which was bleeding pretty heavily too. She knew if she left him, that he would probably bleed out.

But she wasn't finished with him yet.

She then lifted her right leg and kicked him squarely at the base of his spine . It was a server blow. She knew it would cause him to be permanently incapacitate from the waist down if he survived.

Healy looked like a large rag doll as he hung off he desk. The man was still breathing but it was shallow.

If someone didn't find him soon, then he would surely die.

She hoped for the later but didn't have time to find out.

"Fuck you Healy," she whispered as she leaned over him and into his ear. "I hope you die."

She then tucked her hair behind her ears and left the office as quickly as she came in. The hallway was still empty as she closed the door behind her, being carefully not to leave her finger prints on the knob. She left it ajar like it had been when she had arrived.

She then left the way she had come.

Alex's eyes fluttered opened at this. "Fuck," she swore under her breath as she sat up in her bed. She was drenched in a cold sweat. Her hands were shaking slightly as she brought them up in front of her. She slowly turned them palm up and studied them like they were foreign objects.

The dream had been so vivid.

So real.

"Fuck, " she swore again as she looked up from her hands and around the dorm room. It was night time now. Everyone was sound asleep around her. She didn't know what the time was but she knew she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep now.

Leaning down the side of the bed, she blindly felt for her glasses on the floor before quietly getting out of bed.

_Alex's raspy laughter echoed through the bathroom as Piper leaned back into her. They were in the bath together. They had just finished making love. _

_Alex had her arms wrapped around Piper's waist, her fingers gently caressing the skin along Piper's ribcage. _

_Piper had her hands roaming up and down Alex's thighs that were on either side of her. _

_"Mmhmm," she moaned out as she closed her eyes and rested her head on Alex's shoulder. She was very relaxed at the moment. _

_Alex rested her cheek on top of Piper's head. Her hands still gently caressing Piper's torso. She had never felt so content before then she did at this moment with Piper in her arms like this. _

_She hated that she had to leave tomorrow. But it wouldn't be for long this time. She was only flying out for three days to Paris before coming back. It would be a short visit this time. Or so she hoped. But you never knew with her job. Shit always seemed to come up. _

_But it pained her more this time to think about leaving. She was head over heels in love with Piper and didn't want to leave her. _

_She was turning into a sap but she didn't care. _

_Piper Chapman had stolen her heart and she wouldn't want it any other way. _

"Are you fucking kidding me?" whispered Alex as she stopped dead in her tracks and looked on at the scene before her.

Piper was seated with her back pressed up against the shower wall. Her nightgown was hitched up to her hips. There was a fresh bleeding cut on her thigh that wasn't badge up. Piper immediately looked up and over at Alex at this. A mix of emotion seemed to play on her face at this. Her blue eyes filled with tears a seeing Alex. She wasn't suppose to find out.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to her, "I tried..." Her voice broke off suddenly as she looked away from Alex. She had really tried not to make a repeat perform here tonight. But again she couldn't resist. After everything that had happened that day, she needed some sort of relief.

After telling what had happened, both times to the Warden and Caputo. Healy had gotten his ass fired. They had wanted to get her looked at by the medic but she had refused. A sexual assault kit was still to be performed for tomorrow. She had given them her shirt though with the seed of Healy on it. She was happy to hear that Healy had gotten fired and she would never have to see the bastard again but he was still there in the back of head, haunting her.

Alex wanted to be anger with Piper, she really did. She hated how she was doing this to herself. Hadn't she learnt her lesson from last night. However, she didn't have it in her to lecture at the moment.

Instead, she went to Piper. Both women were silent as Alex knelt down beside Piper. She pressed a kiss to her cheek, before taking the small blade from Piper's hand. "You need to stop this Pipes," she whispered tenderly into her ear. "You can't keep on hurting yourself like this."

"I know," whispered out Piper in a low voice. She knew what she was doing was wrong but she couldn't help it. She had seemed to have lost the fight within her. That part of her that was stronger then all this. She had lost it somewhere along the way.

She didn't know when or where. Or if she could ever get it back.

Alex's heart went out to her. She hated that she was like this. "Healy's gone, Piper," she whispered, hoping to some how get through to her. "He won't hurt you ever again. He got fired. He's not coming back!"

Alex's green eyes continued to appear at Piper for a moment longer, before beginning to clean up the cut on her thigh. There was only one this time, which was a good sign. She pressed a piece of toilet paper to the shallow cut, holding it there until the bleed stopped.

"You need to stop this, Pipes," she spoke again out of concern for the blonde. "Can you do that for me?"

Piper glanced over at her at this. She wanted to say yes but she didn't know if she could. "I'll try," she replied after a moment of silence had passed.

Alex continued to look on at her with love and concern in her eyes, before taking Piper by the hand and helping her up.

"That's all I ask, baby," she whispered as she wrapped her arms around Piper's waist and kissed the side of her neck. "Just try to stop. I know it's hard..." Her voice trailed off as she remembered her own battles with addiction. She had been a lousy junkie but she still remember that deep desire that came over her to use at times. It had been so powerful that urge. It had scared her at times to think that she was so dependent on it.

She continued to hold Piper in her arms, stroking her hair for a moment longer before breaking a part. She then placed both of her hands on either side of Piper's face, making her look straight on at her. "If you get this urge again, I want you to tell me and talk to me about it. Even if it is in the middle of the night or the middle of the day. I want you to tell me. Or talk to anyone about it. Just don't keep these feelings built up inside of you. Please," Her voice cracked slightly on the last word. She just wanted to see Piper get some help and recover.

Piper's eyes were wet but she didn't look away from Alex. She nodded her head slowly in reply. She wanted to recover too. "Okay," she whispered in agreement.

The two women continued to stare at one another before Alex slowly leaned in and captured Piper's mouth into a tender kiss.

* * *

I am going away in a couple of days to Montreal but will try to have the next chapter out before I leave on Friday.

Thanks for reading and please review!

Julie


	16. Chapter 16

Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

Just thought I should clarify, Healy's killing was just a dream. I know the transition was a little hard to read but I wanted it to be very sudden I guess. Anyways, here is the next chapter. I'm not a 100% happy with it but wanted to update before I went away. :)

Enjoy!

* * *

A week had passed since everything that had happened with Healy.

Ever since her meeting with Caputo and the Warden and Fig things had changed dramatically for Piper. The day after the meeting, they had done a sexual assault kit. She had tried to refused but she had no choice. They had taken pictures of the bruises on her wrists and back where Healy had grabbed her. The test had been done at the infirmary. They hadn't said much about the cuts on her leg. The nurse had made a note of them but in the long run it would be better if she stayed in the prison then to SHU or psych, so they hadn't made a big deal about them. She was now being closely watch by not only Alex and the others but by the COs as well. She was on suicide watch in a way.

Piper told Alex she would stop cutting herself and talk more about what she was feeling. She had lasted three days before she once again gave in to temptation. But instead of hiding it from Alex, she told her what she did, after the fact. Alex had looked disappointed but was happy that Piper was at least sharing with her what she was doing to her body, instead of trying to hid it.

It was a start.

But as each day passed, Piper felt a little better. She still had a long way to recover but it was becoming a little more easy to deal with. She had Alex now to depend on. She was there when ever she needed her. She held close while she cried. Or listen as she ranted in a rage sometimes.

Piper was finding that even having a job today was helping. She usually worked the nightshift cleaning Dorm A and Dorm B bathrooms. But she didn't care about having to work all night. It gave her something to do other then sleep and be left with her nightmares. She welcomed the physical labour that the janitorial job required of her.

And that's where she found herself that night. Cleaning.

She was in Dorm B's bathroom at the moment. It was peacefully quiet. The only sound coming from the wet mop as she dunked it into the dirty soapy water of the bucket before wringing it out in the attached wringer. She then moved closer inside the bathroom, doing what Susanne had taught her mouths ago. Starting from the inside out, she slapped the rag mop head onto the floor and began to move it, tracing figure eights alone the grimy tiles.

Every time she mopped she couldn't help but think about what Susanne had said. That cleaning helped clear her thoughts at times. That the feelings in her head, got messy like dirt sometimes.

At the time, Piper hadn't fully been able to comprehend what she really meant but now she did. Her head was all sorts of messy that she knew she needed to clean out. Cutting had been a way to avoid the mess of feelings but now with her new janitorial job, she was learning to face them head on. There was nothing else she could do but think on the job.

And, she needed to start on the inside out or else she would just step on the clean and musk everything up.

_"Does it ever stop snowing here?" asked Alex as she glanced out the window of Piper's car and up at the skies. _

_It had been snowing on the day she had left. That was three days ago. And it was now snowing again as they drove from the airport to back to their apartment. _

_Piper just laughed at Alex. "Of course it does!" _

_Alex just glanced over a Piper as this, she wasn't so convinced. It was now the beginning of March and the whole city was still covered in a blanket of whiteness. She just wanted it to be spring already. _

_"Don't you like the snow?" asked Piper playfully as she looked over at her for a quick second before turning her attention back on the road. She knew fully well that Alex hated the snow. _

_"Fuck no!" cried out Alex in her raspy voice. She hated the cold. _

_"Well, don't worry. It won't be here much longer," replied Piper, reaching out and placing a comforting on Alex's knee. _

_Alex just pursed her lips at this before looking down at where Piper's hand rested on her jean clad knee. Piper's thumb were tracing circles against the material. God, how she had missed her, she thought to herself as she continued to watch Piper's hand. She licked her lips slightly as sudden lust filled her stomach. She couldn't wait to get back to the apartment and eat Piper up. _

_It had been too long. _

Alex smiled at Piper as she took the seat across from her. It had become a part of their routine to have breakfast together. Piper would come in and sit with her before heading off to the dorm to sleep, while Alex went to work.

Piper didn't always eat like Alex wanted her too. But she was slowly getting better. She was still coping from when she had been at SHU. She was use to eating very little and being okay for hours.

Piper returned the smile, shyly.

Neither knew what to call their relationship at the moment. They weren't lovers like Nicky and Morello were. But they were a little more then friends it seemed. They had only kissed briefly but nothing had gone from there. Like Piper, they had a lot to work through before they decided to try again at being anymore than what they were now.

Alex, she knew wanted more. But Piper wasn't ready. Yes, she loved Alex and she was starting to warm up to her again. But she was afraid all the same to let her in deeper. To allow her fully to love her back. She still needed to work on herself. She was still damaged goods.

"How was work?" asked Alex in between mouthfuls of her eggs. Her green eyes piercing into Piper's blue ones.

"It was...okay," she answered with a shrug before down casting her eyes and reaching for her cup of tea. Alex always asked her the same question and she always seemed to answer the same. She cleaned floors. There was nothing much about it then just that.

A silence then fell onto the two women as they continued to eat. Well, Alex ate, while Piper sipped her tea slowly and stared out the window of the cafeteria, getting lost in her own little world.

Alex ate the rest of her breakfast before pushing her empty tray to the side and reaching out for Pipe's hand. "Pipes," she whispered, drawing the blonde out of herself.

Piper jumped slightly at Alex's touch. Her cheeks flushing with embarrassment at being caught.

"What are you thinking about?" asked Alex in a tender voice. Her green eyes searched Piper's face in curiosity. She had to admit that it scared her sometimes when Piper did that. She was afraid that Piper was cutting her off again. But she knew it was just a habit that the blonde had picked up in SHU. Piper talked more openly to her now but she still had a long way to go, she knew.

Piper's eyes pierced into Alex's. She debated whether or not to tell her the truth or make up a lie. She decided on the first. She knew that no matter how hard it was for Alex to hear, she rather hear the truth from her then a lie. Alex was always honest with her. She knew she had to do the same.

"Tiffany," she whispered.

Piper had yet to tell Alex about what Healy had suggested at; that him and Doggett had been working together. That Doggett had been the one to report Alex kissing her that one time in the laundry room when she had gone there to drop off her laundry. Or their little moment a week ago in the cafeteria when she had allowed for Alex to feed her. It was Pennsatucky who had told Healy about it. She had been wanting her to get into trouble. She had been the one to trigger the events that had happened in Healy's office.

Pennsatucky was still trying to take her down after disrespecting her all those months ago and what had happened at Christmas.

Alex looked crossed at this but the anger quickly vanished from her eyes. She didn't say anything in reply to Piper as she inhaled sharply through her nose and nodded her head in understanding. She just continued to look on at Piper, waiting for her to continue.

Piper wanted to tell Alex about everything but she didn't want Alex to freak out. She knew she would have killed Healy if given the chance. She didn't want Alex to do something stupid and get sent away like she had. She needed her still.

They sat in silence for a moment longer before Alex couldn't take it anymore. "Why are you thinking about her?" she asked out of curiosity. She wanted Piper to talk to her and the only way that seemed to work is if she asked questions.

Piper shrugged her shoulders at this. Tears filled her eyes suddenly. She didn't know where to start. "You have to promise me something first...okay?" she asked in a quiet voice, locking eyes with Alex.

"Okay..." whispered back Alex as she cocked an eyebrow at this. She didn't like the sound of this but didn't argue with Piper.

"You have to promise that you won't get mad or do something stupid. You have to keep this between you and me," continued on Piper as she nervously tucked her blonde hair out of her face. "Okay?"

Again, Alex didn't like where this was going. What was Piper going to tell her that would make her mad? Alex was silent for a moment before agreeing to not get mad and doing something stupid.

"You promise?"

"Yes, Pipes, I promise," she whispered tenderly in reply as she once again reached across the table and took Piper's hands again.

Piper continued to look at Alex for a second. She didn't believe her. She knew Alex. She was like a mother bear protecting her cubs when it came to anyone hurting some she cared about. She didn't want her to do something stupid after hearing about what Tiffany had done.

She let out a deep breathe before telling Alex. "Healy said something," she whispered, trying to find the right wording.

Both Alex's eyebrows raised high up on her forehead at hearing his name. She didn't like where this was going.

"He said something about seeing us," continued on Piper as she thought back to what Healy had said to her in the office. "About seeing us in the laundry room and...at breakfast that day together."

Alex was confused by this. It then dawned on her what Piper was suggesting. That her little kiss in the laundry room had been what had trigger Healy to seek Piper out and take advantage of her. Alex felt uneasy all the sudden at this.

"I didn't know what he meant...I didn't remember seeing Healy but..." her voice trailed off. as it suddenly dawned on her. Healy had never mentioned Doggett's name. She was now starting to wonder if she had made the whole thing up. The connection between Tiffany and Healy. She just assumed that Tiffany had snitched on her.

"But what Piper?" asked Alex suddenly, breaking the silence that had fallen over the two. She needed to know. What was Piper getting at? Who had seen them and reported them to Healy?

"But Pennsatucky had," her voice was very low. She wasn't looking at Alex anymore. She didn't dare to look there. She could already feel the rage coming off of her as she continued to clench her hands.

"Pennsatucky!" whispered out Alex, harshly. She thought back to that day, when she had sat in the very same spot she was seated now with Piper, eating breakfast. Pennsatucky had told Piper to watch her back. That Healy would be upset to hear about her and Piper eating together. That same day, Healy had once again assaulted her. A cold chill ran down Alex's back at this. "That little bitch!"

"You can't tell anyone," whispered Piper as she snapped her attention back onto Alex. "You can't!" Her voice was high and in a panic. She couldn't afford to lose Alex if she went after Pennsatucky. "You can't go after her! I'm not even sure if she had anything to do with Healy. He never...he never mentioned her name..." Her voice trailed off as she began to cry with overcome emotion. She removed her hands from Alex's and buried her face into them.

Alex continued to look on at Piper for a second as a million thoughts raced through her mind.

"Kid," she whispered after a second had passed.

Piper lifted her head at this and locked eyes with Alex.

Alex,sighed before pushing her glasses up on top of her head. She then reached out and took Piper's hand into her own again before opening her mouth to speak. However before she could say anything, they were bombarded with people.

"Hey, Vause! Hey, Chapman!" greeted Nicky as she dropped her tray onto the table and placed a hand on both of Piper's and Alex's shoulder.

Piper jumped in her seat at Nicky's sudden touch. She quickly let go of Alex's hand and looked up at the other woman.

"Fuck," swore Alex as she glared at her friend as she dropped into the empty seat beside her.

"What?" answered Nicky innocently, "Did I ruin a moment or something?" Her hazel eyes looking from Alex to Piper and back. There was an amused expression painted on her face.

Alex threw a dirty look in Nicky's direction before looking over at Piper, who was staring down at her untouched breakfast. Her expression was unreadable to Alex. She desperately wanted Nicky to get the hint and to go away but before she could, there were two new arrivals at the table. Morello and Yoga Jones joined them.

Alex pursed her lips as she leaned back in her seat. She was pissed off that she couldn't talk to Piper with out everyone overhearing them now. She continued to watch Piper as conversation began to buzz around the table. Nicky and Morello were flirty heavily together. Yoga Jones was talking to Piper.

"I hope to see you at yoga today, Chapman," spoke the quiet voice of the much older woman as she looked kindly at Piper.

Piper looked over at Yoga Jones and nodded her head, "We will see," she murmured in reply.

"It will help you," replied Jones in a whisper so that only Piper could hear her. "You need to channel this negative energy you have in a physical way."

Piper looked down at where Jones had patted her hand slightly. Her blue eyes then looked up to her face, which was smiling warmly back at her.

Piper couldn't help but return the smile slightly.

She then caught Alex staring at her from across the table. A wave of dread suddenly washing over her. She had forgotten for a second what they had been talking about before getting interrupted. She could tell by the look on Alex's face that they weren't done yet discussing it.

The two women continued to gaze on at each other for a second before Piper suddenly found herself rising to her feet.

Everyone seemed to look up at her in puzzlement at her sudden departure from the table.

"Where are you going?" asked Alex in confusion at her.

"To the subs," replied Piper, "I'm exhausted." And she was. She had worked herself to the bone that night with cleaning the floors. She was in desperate need of some shut eye.

Alex continued to stare at her for a moment before rising to her feet. She knew that Piper was running away like she always did but she wanted to see her out. She grabbed her own tray before quickly coming around the table and taking Piper's from her hands.

_"So what do you want to do?" asked Piper towards Alex as they stepped through the threshold of the apartment. _

_It was the middle of the afternoon. It had stopped snowing and the sun was weakly peeking through the clouds. _

_"Are you feeling jetlagged? Do you want to sleep for a bit?" continued to ask Piper as she placed her purse and keys onto the counted of the kitchen and began to undo the buttons of her navy blue wool coat. "I got new sheets the other day for the bed...there the ones you like...what?" asked Piper as Alex just stared at her. _

_"Nothing," shrugged Alex as her mouth tugged up into a smile. She adjusted her glasses on her nose as she continued to gaze on at Piper. "You're just so fucking cute!" Her voice was low and raspy as she began to enclose the space between them. "Buying sheets and such!" _

_Piper couldn't help but smile at this. She shook her head in disbelief at Alex as she shredded off her coat and placed it on the counter. _

_Her eyes then locked with Alex's. A wave of arousal washing over her as Alex reach out for her hand and pulled her roughly towards her. A small sigh escaped from her lips as she felt Alex's mouth crash against hers in a passionate kiss. _

_"I missed you," whispered Alex in between kisses. Her hands were roaming up and down Piper's back. Her tongue pushing it's way into Piper's mouth. she wanted her and badly. _

_Piper immediately wrapped her arms around Alex's neck and pressed her body into hers. Her mouth fussed together with Alex's. She had missed her too. _

_Their tongues slithered together as they began to make their way to the bedroom. Clothes were quickly discarded in the process. _

"Where's your girl?" asked Nicky as she leaned against one of the dryers and looked on at Alex, who was folding bed sheets.

"She's sleeping still," commented Alex. It was just passed lunch now. Alex had gone to go check up on Piper, who had been fast asleep in her bunk.

Nicky nodded her head in reply, crossing her arms over her chest as she continued to gaze on at Alex. She was silent for a moment before asking, "How's she doing?"

Alex turned her back to Nicky at this for a moment as she placed the folded sheet onto the table before reaching for another one. "Shitty, still," she murmured. Piper had recovered some what but she still had a lot more work to do.

"She's been through a lot," pointed out Nicky, "You can't expect miracles to happen just because fucking Healy is out of the picture."

Alex didn't say anything to this. She knew that Nicky was right. And she wasn't expecting miracles from Piper over night. She just hated how much she was still struggling with everything.

"Well, it isn't just Healy, who was the fucking problem," murmured Alex bitterly underneath her breath as she thought back to what Piper had told her that morning about Doggett.

Nicky cocked an eyebrow at this, "Pennsatucky still making trouble?"

"Fuck yes!"

"Don't do anything stupid Vause," replied Nicky, knowing that the gears were turning in Alex's head. She was plotting her revenge.

"God, you sound like Piper," moaned out Alex in frustration.

"Trust us, you don't want to end up in SHU," spoke Nicky after a moment of passed, "Doggett ain't worth it."

Alex just glared at Nicky at this. She didn't know the full truth. If she did, she would be singing a different tune on the matter.

"Piper's worth it," she murmured before turning her back on to Nicky as she felt wetness suddenly on her cheeks. She busied herself with reaching for another sheet as she tried to compose herself. She had meant what she said. Piper was worth a trip to SHU. Piper had been through hell and back while in prison. And she wouldn't be here in the first place if it wasn't for Alex. She knew she didn't owe Piper but she felt like she did in away.

_Alex was on top of Piper, straddling her hips as she began to trail kisses down the side of her neck. She wanted to devour her. Her body had been craving Piper since the moment she had left her at security three days ago. _

_She didn't care about her jetlag at the moment. Her body buzzed with desire and devotion for this woman underneath her. _

_Piper played with Alex's breasts as their lips once again found each other. Her fingers pressed into the soft flesh of her tits. The pads of her thumbs softly running over the sensitive skin of her nipples. _

_"Baby," moaned out Alex in response to Piper's touch. _

_The two lovers continued to touch, kiss and feel at each other. The sounds of their loving making filling the room. Alex nipped and bit her way down Piper's neck and chest. Her fingers tugged at Piper's nipples. Her teeth were leaving track marks down Piper's body as they continued to make their way downwards to her centre. _

_It was Piper's turn to moan out as she felt Alex's fingers suddenly on her cunt. Alex's eyes gleam as the stared intensely up at her. There was a smirk playing on the older woman's face as she deepened her touch. Her fingers roughly rubbing against her clit. She gently teased her for a moment longer. Her fingers tracing circles against the sensitive spot before sliding into her opening. _

_Piper moaned again as she flexed her hips against Alex's hand, deepening her touch. _

_Alex added another finger into Piper as her lips once again crashed against hers. Their mouths parted and came back together, over and over again as Alex continued to move her fingers rapidly in and out of Piper. _

_"I'm coming," murmured Piper in a low voice as she arched her back and her hands dug into Alex's shoulders. _

_"Say it again," whispered Alex into Piper's ear before adding a third finger into her wet throbbing pussy. _

_"AAHH...I'MM COMMIng!" moaned out Piper again as warmth spread rapidly through her. Her body was on fire as Alex's touch took over her. Her orgasm wasn't that far behind, now. _

_"Come on baby," whispered Alex, her voice was pure sex against Piper' ear. The tip of her tongue flicking against Piper's lobe. She wanted to make Piper scream. "I feel you...your so fucking wet!" _

_"Alex!" cried out Piper again as she felt Alex's thumb flick her swollen clit. She closed her eyes and pressed her cheek into the mattress. Her finger digging harder into Alex's shoulders as her body erupted with pleasure. _

Alex sucked on her teeth as she waited.

Shift had just ended and count would be soon before dinner was served but she hung around the laundry room anyways. After hearing about Doggett's snitching Piper out to Healy, she couldn't stop the plans from plotting in her mind. She wanted revenge. She had missed her chance with Healy. But she wouldn't let Pennsatucky slip through her finger.

That hick was going to be hers.

* * *

I know that's a sucky place to end a chapter. But I got to keep you on your toes still, right? :P. There won't be another chapter for at least a week or so, going away to Montreal for a few days!

Thanks for reading and please review!

Julie


	17. Chapter 17

Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

Just thought I should mention how this chapter was written on a six hour bus journey to Montreal.

Enjoy!

* * *

Alex, sucked on her teeth as she waited.

Shift had just ended and count would be soon before dinner was served but she hung around the laundry room anyways. After hearing about Doggett's snitching Piper out to Healy, she couldn't stop the plans from plotting in her mind. She wanted revenge. She had missed her chance with Healy. But she wouldn't let Pennsatucky slip through her fingers.

That hick was going to be hers.

She was standing near the washing machines when Pennsatucky entered the laundry room. She had been up in the service room that day, handing out uniforms to the newbies to Litchfield. Alex had a feeling that she would be returning, though. She had left her beloved grey hoodie behind. The meth head didn't seem to go anywhere with out it. Even if it was going to be summer soon. The hick clung to it like a toddler to it's blanket. Alex didn't pounder this much though as she threaded the material of the hoodie through her long fingers.

She watched as Pennsatucky stopped dead in her tracks, looking around the room for her sweater. She hadn't noticed Alex yet.

"Looking for this?"

Pennsatucky's eyes immediately snapped over to where Alex stood in the shadows of the laundry room. There was a look of perplex painted on her face as she continued to look at the much taller woman. She hadn't expected to see Alex. Her brown eyes darkened slightly as she looked from her sweater to Alex's face and back. "That ain't yours!"

Alex just smirked in amusement at this. "So?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow in the meth head's direction.

_It was much later in the day as Alex turned onto her side and smiled sheepishly at Piper. _

_The afternoon sun was pouring into the bedroom. It had stopped snowing. _

_Piper looked back at Alex, a small smile appearing on her face. The blonde was still half-asleep. The two woman continued to stare at each other for a minute longer before Piper turned onto her back and let out a loud yawn. She stretched out her body like a cat. _

_Alex licked her lips as she studied the way Piper's back arched and her small chest pressed upwards. She was immediately turned on. __After their passionate reunion earlier, the lovers had fallen into a deep slumber. But as she continued to watch Piper, Alex's body was humming with desire and wide awake for a round two. _

_"Come here," she whispered in a husky voice as her arm wrapped around Piper's hip and pulled her to her. _

_Piper giggled slightly as Alex pulled her on top of her. Her blonde hair falling over both their faces like a curtain as they a peered intensely at one another again. The gaze lasted another minute before Piper titled her head to the side, and pressing her mouth to Alex's. _

_Alex's hand rested on Piper's back before slowly sliding down to her ass as she kissed her back. _

Piper shuffled quietly into the common room where yoga classes were held on Wednesdays. The class had already started. She hadn't thought she would come but at last minute she had decided to join in.

She held her yoga mat close to her torso as she stood shyly on the sidelines, watching as the class went into downward dog. Yoga Jones looked up and locked eyes with Piper. "Chapman!" she cried, a warm smile appearing on her face. "I'm glad to see you here!"

Piper smiled a small smile in return.

"Come in and join us!" spoke Jones, motioning for Piper to come take the empty spot at the front beside of Morello.

Piper's eyes drifted over to the spot before looking back at Yoga Jones. She was overcome with a feeling of uncertainty. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea? she thought to herself as she continued to stand there for a minute longer. Debating whether to stay or to go. She didn't know how much movement she would be able to make. Her legs still burned when she walked. She could still feel Yoga Jones's eyes on her.

Letting out a deep breath, she decided to join the class. She had come this far, she might as well go all the way she thought. Yoga Jones once again smiled warmly at her as she lay out her mat and took a seat on it. They were now doing breathing exercises on their back.

"Remember, Ladies not to over due yourselves," explained Yoga Jones, addressing the rest of the class, "If you find something to be too hard, just focus on your breathing, slow and steady." She glanced over towards Piper.

The two woman exchanged a look of understanding.

* * *

Alex and Pennsatucky continued to glare at one another before the silence was broken.

"Well, aren't you going to come and get it then?" asked Alex, a smirk still playing on her face. Her hands were still caressing the material of the hoodie.

Pennsatucky didn't say anything as she continued to stand frozen to the spot and stare at Alex.

"What Pennsatucky? Cat got your tongue all the sudden? what are you afraid of the big bad lesbian now?" taunted Alex, who was grinning like the cherish cat as her green eyes continued to pierce into Pennsatucky.

Pennsatucky looked to be at a lost for words as she continued to stand there locking eyes with Alex. She hadn't been afraid of Piper all those month ago when she threatened her. She had Jesus with her then. But Alex was a different story. Alex had threatened her before and she was certain that the taller woman wouldn't think twice about going through with it now. She had always been a little afraid of Alex Vause.

However, the country hick was determined not to let her fear show, as her face hardened into a cold expression. Her hands were clenched into fist beside her. She prayed a silent pray to the heavens for support and encouragement to take this devil now. Again, Jesus was testing her and her faith, she thought, and she wasn't going to disappoint.

"What? there's no high and mighty God to save you, this time?" Alex chuckled slightly before beginning to enclose the space between them.

"Jesus always has my back!" cried back Pennsatucky, finally finding her voice. "Unlike you, dyke! Both you and college will burn in hell for your sins!"

Alex's green eyes darkened slightly as she moved quickly like a tiger hunting it's dinner. At the mention of Piper, something snapped within her. All her anger and rage she had been keeping at bay was rising suddenly to the surface as she pushed Doggett up against the wall.

The sound of her back hitting the mental of the washing machines echoed through out the room.

"What the fuck did I tell you about talking about her?" whispered Alex harshly as she pressed her body up against Doggett's. Her face was just a mere inches away as she towered over. Both her hands were pinning down Pennsatucky's wrist against the machines. The grey hoodie lay abandoned on the floor beside them. "Don't think I don't know what you did, Pennsatucky, you fucking little snitch!" Alex's voice was low as she continued to a peer down at the hick.

A look of fear flashed across Pennsatucky's face for a second but she tired to mask it. "I don't know what you are talking about," replied Doggett innocently. Her eyes brows raising slightly as if challenging Alex.

Alex just glared at Doggett for a second before a twisted smile appeared on her face. She laughed slightly in amusement at this. "Oh, so you don't have any idea why Healy got fired? huh?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow, her eyes continued to pierce intensely at Pennsatucky. "You wouldn't have anything to do with that now...would you Tiffany?" Her voice filled with sudden sweetness as she spoke Pennsatucky's name slowly. She then released her left hand from Pennsatucky wrist and slowly trailed a finger down the curve of her neck. She wanted to make the other woman squirm.

"That's such a pretty name...T-IFF-AN-EE," she drew out each sound slowly, caressing each letter with her tongue as she leaned in closer to Doggett's, planting a kiss softly on her jaw line. She smiled as she felt the other woman stiffen slightly at her touch.

"You don't know what ya talking about, dyke!" whispered Pennsatucky as her eyes locked with Alex, who was still continuing to grin at her. Her hand was traveling slowly along the V-neck of the front of her shirt. Taunting Pennsatucky.

"Oh really?!" whispered Alex in reply, the smile was gone from her face as she continued to glare at Pennsatucky. Her left hand was back, pinning Pennsatucky's wrist against the wall. Alex then slowly began to move her arms, so that her wrists were pinned above her head.

Pennsatucky tried to break free but Alex was too strong for her.

Alex just snigger slightly at this. "So you are not the reason why Piper is walking around like a fucking zombie for what Healy did to her?" Alex's voice was filled with coldness towards the meth head. Her heart was beating rapidly with adrenaline as she continued to press Pennsatucky against the machine.

Pennsatucky didn't say anything at this. There was a mix of emotions playing out on her face as she continued to look up at Alex.

"Where you that fucking pissed off at her, that you had to report her to Healy?" continued on Alex. "I know... I know, she beat the crap out of you and she deserved to pay. But it's been five fucking months! Couldn't you let it go? huh! Didn't Jesus forgive Judas for giving him up...couldn't you do that same? Couldn't you fucking be the bigger person Pennsatucky and just let it all go. and maybe for once, forgive someone like Jesus fucking teaches people to do?" Her voice was low but filled with rage towards Pennsatucky as she continued to hold her wrists in place.

Pennsatucky, once again didn't say anything in reply.

"Shit! Doggett! you are really that fucking pigheaded!" snarled Alex in disbelief. "You really thought that you would get away with all this...that you could trust that bastard Healy for not giving you away? That Piper wouldn't figure it all fucking out?...If I didn't know any better, I would think you were jealous of her in away...maybe you secretly have a crush on her and are upset that she flat out rejected you...just like she did with Healy...mmhm, how fucking close am I now?" asked Alex, a smile once again playing on her lips. She blew hot air against Pennsatucky's exposed neck, making her squirm again.

"Healy was fucking jealous that Piper chose me...instead of him. And I am starting to think that the same goes for you, Tiffany," she once again whispered out her name tenderly, "That you fucking loved Piper and was pissed off she didn't return your affection...so then you and Healy got together to plot revenge on the blonde...what is this? fucking Mean Girls or something?" Alex was silent for a moment as she continued to purse her lips at Pennsatucky.

"What did Healy give you as a reward, huh? What did you ask for in return for snitching Piper out? Taystee I heard got candy from him...what did you fucking get?" She raised her eyebrows once again, waiting for Pennsatucky to reply but she knew she wasn't going to. "Well, I hope whatever it was, it was fucking worth it...because you know what Tiffany...your going to hell! Maybe not today...maybe not to tomorrow...but when judgement day does come...you're fucking going to burn in hell...Jesus doesn't like a snitch!"

A silence then fell over the two woman as they continued to lock eyes with one another.

"Your fucking going to burn in hell!" murmured Pennsatucky. Her voice was bitter. Her eyes were filled with burning rage as she raised her chin at Alex. "Jesus has my back! I might have snitched but that bitch fucking deserved it! She's a sinner. A no good sinner! She fucking deserved everything she got from Healy! And you're going to burn in hell too! Jesus doesn't like lesbians!" Her voice rose higher and higher with each word spoken. She had suddenly found her confidence.

The corners of Alex's mouth tugged upwards, showing her teeth to Pennsatucky like a wolf.

She was done playing nice.

"I will show you a sinner!" whispered Alex as she pressed her body further up against Pennsatucky.

"I don't know if you remembered but I said I would fuck you, literally...and this your lucky moment," she whispered, seeing the fear flash before Pennsatucky's eyes. She did remember.

Alex smirked at this before she placed a soft kiss on the side of Pennsatucky's neck.

The fun was just beginning.

_Alex's lips found the side of Piper's neck as she slide a hand down her rear and fingered her from behind. _

_Piper moaned out immediately at this. Sudden pleasure washing over her. Alex's mouth and hand continued to work her body for a minute or two longer, gently teasing her before stopping all together. _

_She then took Piper's wrist suddenly and moved her in one quick movement so that Alex was now towering over her. Her right hands held Piper's wrists in place against the pillows above her head as her left hand traveled down the length of Piper's torso. _

_Her mouth once again crashing passionately against hers. She kissed her rapidly. Her mouth roughly pressing against Piper's. It was all animal as the tip of her tongue pushed it's way into the depth of her mouth. _

_As Alex's mouth continued to attack Piper's face, her hand roughly rubbed at Piper's pussy. Her body pressed hard into Piper's. It was all about control for Alex as she continued to work Piper. _

_Piper loved when Alex controlled her like this and took demand of her body. Her hands flexed slightly against Alex's hold. Arousal coursed through her body as she felt Alex's mouth suddenly on her breast. The older woman roughly latched on to it. Her tongue flicked the nipple back and forth before taking it into her mouth. The edge of her teeth glazing the tender skin slightly. _

_Piper cried out slightly at this. Alex looked up at this for a brief moment before moving to the other breast and doing the same. Her fingers were rapidly working the folds of Piper's pussy, pushing themselves deeply into her. _

_Piper was breathing heavily now as her body quivered underneath Alex. _

_She was close to coming as Alex added a third digit and began to roughly push in and out of her. _

_"Baby..." she moan out as she felt the pad of Alex's thumb brush up against her clit. Her body was all of Alex's at this moment. _

_Alex bit down roughly on the side of Piper's neck at the same time as she slid her whole hand into her. Piper's cunt was wet and throbbing by this point as Alex began to fist her. She carved to hear Piper scream. _

_"AHHHLLLEEEXXX," grunted out Piper as she closed her eyes and arched her back against Alex's hand. Her body erupted immediately with pleasure as she came loudly and quickly. _

Piper breathed in and out like the rest of the intimates were. She had done a few of the poses but for the most part she had sat on her mat and mediated.

The class was almost over and dinner would be soon afterwards.

She wondered where Alex was at the moment? She knew that work had ended for the day but she hadn't seen the tall woman since breakfast really. She had slept through lunch. She hadn't told Alex she was coming to yoga for the day. She wondered if Alex was looking for her?

She continued to breath in and out just like Yoga Jones was instructing to do while thinking about where Alex was and what she was doing.

_"Can I ask you something?" asked Piper as she turned onto her side and looked on at Alex. _

_It was just a few moments later and both women were bathing in their love making. The smell of sex hung heavily in the air. _

_"Anything," whispered back Alex as she reach out to caress the side of Piper's face. Her green eyes shining with devotion. _

_Piper smiled slightly at this. The question had been on her mind lately. Especially since Alex had left on her business trip. "You're not going to like it," she began to speak. _

_"Try me, kid," whispered back Alex in reply. _

_"It's about the business...your business," whispered Piper slowly, trying to find her wording. _

_Alex just stared back at her blankly, waiting for her to continue. This was the first time that Piper was asking about her job. They had talked about it briefly in the past but for the most part it was a taboo topic. _

_"What do you do exactly?" asked Piper, her blue eyes staring intensely at Alex. "I know that you are an importer for an international drug cartel but I want to understand what you do...like when you go away on business, what do you do really? And please don't sugar coat it. I want you to tell me the truth."_

_Alex's eyes narrowed slightly at Piper for a second. "I will always tell you the truth, kid," she whispered before once again reaching out and caressing the side of Piper's face. She would always be honest with Piper and up to this point she had been too. _

_The two women exchanged a look before Alex began to slowly tell her about her job. _

"Yo, where've you been Vause? Dinner is almost over," asked Nicky as Alex dropped into the empty seat beside her.

Alex just shrugged, murmuring something about being busy at work. She avoided meeting her friend's eye as she began to eat quickly from her tray. Shoving fork full after fork full of food into her mouth.

Nicky, just narrowed her eyes at Alex for a moment. She didn't believe her. She knew something else had come up and that started with a capital P and ended with a Y but she say anything. This wasn't the time and place to bring it up. She continued to a peer at Alex for a second longer before glancing over at Piper who was seated across from her. She gave the blonde a slight smile before turning her attention onto her own food.

Piper's blue eyes looked between the two woman before settling on Alex's face.

Alex, who noticed her staring just gave her a tight smile back. She then reached across the table to where Piper's hand lay and gave it a squeeze. Her green eyes lingered on Piper for a second before longer before dropping to her tray.

"You need to eat, Pipes," whispered Alex as she took in the untouched tray in front of Piper. She had one problem solved but the biggest one had yet to be handled. Piper was still in need of help. She was still fucked up over everything.

Piper didn't say anything as she met Alex's eye. "Where were you?" she asked in a whisper. She could sense that Alex hadn't been held up suddenly at work to make her later for dinner. She had been doing something else that she didn't want to tell her about. Her brows were fussed together as she continued to look at Alex, waiting for her answer.

"Like I told Nicky," replied Alex, not missing a beat. "I got caught up in the laundry room. One of the meth head decided to over flow one of the machines with detergent and guess who had to clean up the mess?" Her face broke out into a grin at this. She knew she never lied to Piper before. She had always been honest with her since day one. And she took pride in this. But she knew she couldn't possibly tell Piper the truth. Especially, after promising the blonde that she wouldn't do something stupid and go after Pennsatucky.

Well, she didn't think she had done anything stupid but she knew that Piper would see it differently.

Piper held Alex's gaze for a second before returning the smile. She wanted to believe her. She gave Alex's hand a squeeze before picking up her fork and stabbing a piece of meatloaf with it. She then brought it up to her mouth and took a bite.

"Happy?" she asked through a mouthful of food.

Alex couldn't help but laugh at this. A wave of relief washing over her at this. She was glad that Piper had chosen to believe her lame story and not to push the matter further. "Very much!" she whispered as she brought Piper's hand up to her lips and gave it a quick kiss.

Alex caught Nicky's looking at her through the corner of her eye. The other woman had a knowing look on her face. Alex knew that unlike Piper, Nicky hadn't bought her story for one second.

Alex then quickly looked away from her friend and back onto Piper who was taking another bite out of her dinner.

Piper could never find out what she did, thought Alex as she gently caressed Piper's hand with her own as she too ate her dinner. Things between her and Piper were finally in a good place. She knew they had a lot to still work through but Piper was finally opening up to her. And trusting her again. She didn't want Piper to have another set back because of what she had done.

* * *

Thanks for reading and please review!

Julie


	18. Chapter 18

Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

So this will be one of the last chapters of this story. I am capping it off at 20 chapters.

* * *

"So spill," spat Nicky towards Alex.

It was the next day and both woman were seated in the stairway. It was the only place that they could find that was quiet enough to talk without any one over hearing them.

Alex just glanced at Nicky for a second before turning her attention out onto the window that faced the grounds. She knew that Nicky wanted to hear what had gone down between her and Pennsatucky. She just didn't know where to start.

"What did you do to Pennsatucky?" asked Nicky, after a moment had passed and Alex still hadn't spoken. The blonde was seated on the steps, her arms crossed over her chest, glaring at the taller woman.

Nicky wasn't stupid.

And she knew something had gone down between her and Pennsatucky. Nicky knew that Pennsatucky needed to be taken down but she didn't think the risk of going to SHU was worth it. She had been there before, Alex hadn't. It would fuck you up. Her hazel eyes continued to bore into Alex who was still staring out the window.

"Fuck Vause! just tell me," cried out Nicky in frustration, "What went down between you and Pennsatucky?"

Alex turned to look at Nicky at this. "I did what I had to do," she replied simply. Her face was blank of emotion. "That little Jesus Loving Meth Head Bitch won't be bothering Piper any longer."

Nicky sucked in her breath at this. Her eyes narrowing slightly as she continued to stare at Alex. "What did you fucking do Vause?" Piper had fucking beaten in the girl's face and that still hadn't stopped her. Whatever Alex had done, had to be ten times worse.

Alex didn't say thing at first at this before shrugging her shoulders. "We just talked..." her voice trailed off slightly as she turned her back to Nicky and once again looked out the window. It wasn't a lie. They had talked...for the most part.

"Don't fuck with me Vause," whispered out Nicky. "I can spell bullshit from a mile away. And your shit sticks!" She didn't believe Alex for one second that her and Pennsatucky had just 'talked'. Something had gone down.

Alex just let out a deep breath before turning once again to Nicky. There was a look of defeat edge on her face as she slowly took the seat beside Nicky. Her walls were starting to crumble around her. She had done some messed up shit in her life but this time had been the worse. She hadn't slept through most of the night. She kept on playing it out in her head like a film reel. Alex knew what she had done would haunt her the rest of her life.

"Did you rape her?"

"God no!" whispered out Alex, looking on at her friend with disgust. "I didn't do anything that extreme...I just scared her a little...that's all." Her voice lowered slightly as she looked away from Nicky once again and down at her hands, which were twisted in her lap. She didn't have her way with Pennsatucky. She just sort of threatened her, making Pennsatucky know she wasn't going to get away for what she had done to Piper.

Nicky raised an eyebrow at this. What was that suppose to mean? scared her a little? Nicky knew that Alex had threatened Pennsatucky before when she had been talking about her in the laundry room, months ago. That she had threatened to come into her bunk in the middle of the night and fuck her, literally. She wondered if she had acted out on this threaten or not? Alex said she hadn't raped her. But there were different types of sexual assault.

"Fuck!" swore out Alex in anger. She was suddenly overcome with anger at herself. She had been so stupid. What she had done had been stupid. "Fuck!" she swore out again as she pushed her glasses up onto her head and buried her face into her hands. "I am no fucking better then Healy!" she whispered in a low voice.

Nicky didn't say anything at this. She knew whatever had gone down between Pennsatucky and Alex had been bad.

"I thought that I could some how protect Piper by going after Pennsatucky. After she told me, what Healy had said to her about seeing us together. She had put two and two together and realised that Pennsatucky had seen us and snitched on her to Healy...That fucking bitch was why Healy attacked her!" Her voice was still low but it was filled with rage as her hatred for Healy returned.

"Shit," whispered out Nicky in shock. This was the first time she was hearing that Pennsatucky had been involved with what Healy had done to Piper. She knew that the meth head had been causing trouble between Alex and Piper. But she had assumed it was her usual crap. Nothing like this.

"She was his fucking snitch!" snarled Alex as she continued to explain. "Piper didn't want to tell me...she knew that I would go after Pennsatucky after hearing this... And I fucking tried not too...but she fucking deserved it!"

Alex was once again on her feet at this and pacing the floor before the window. "I was only going to talk to her. You know scare her a little. Make her know her place...but I guess I let me anger get the best of me...let's just say things went a little too far than planned...but I didn't fucking rape her." Her eyes were suddenly filled with tears as she looked on at Nicky.

"What did you do, then?" asked Nicky in a curious voice. She didn't want to judge Alex and make her more upset then she already was. But she was curious to know what Alex had done to Pennsatucky to make her feel so guilty over it.

"I...I told you...I talked to her," murmured Alex as she rubbed the side of her face before putting back on her glasses. She blinked away the sudden tears in her eyes. She was silent for a brief moment, debating on how to tell Nicky before launching into the whole tale. "I corned her in the laundry room. She had left her fucking hoodie behind and I know she would be coming back for it. She never goes anywhere without it, it seems..."

Alex once again took a moment to pause before taking the seat beside Nicky again on the step. "I called her out on her shit. Asking her why she went after Piper...why she snitched her out...I just wanted to scare her...and make her leave Piper alone...she had been through enough with Healy."

"But Pennsatucky being Pennsatucky still wasn't getting it...she continued to rambled on like she does about Jesus...about Piper deserving what she got... how she was a sinner. That's when I snapped. Piper might be selfish most of the time but she never deserved this." Alex's eyes once again shined with tears at this. Piper had broken her heart on two occasions. She had been pissed off at the blonde for abandoning her when she need her the most all those years ago and for recently choosing Larry over her. But no matter what Piper did, she never deserved this.

"It was at that moment, I didn't care about what I was doing or how wrong it was," admitted Alex in a low voice, "I was just seeing red and wanted Pennsatucky to feel the same fear and pain that Piper had in Healy's office. I wanted to give that fucking hick a taste of her own medicine...groped her...that's it...I had her pinned against the washing machine as I kissed the side of her neck and pressed my body up against hers...I trailed my hands down her sides and cupped her pussy through her pants...Fuck...I'm an monster." Whispered out Alex as she stared down at her hands like they were weapons of mass deconstruction. She suddenly began to shake as a wave of emotion washed through her.

Alex had been trying to protect Piper when she went after Pennsatucky. She had wanted Pennsatucky to back off of Piper and just come after her, instead. But now, after the fact, she felt like she was no better off then Healy, who had tormented Piper by locking her in his office and making her blow him. He had never really touched her though like Alex had only touched and groped Pennsatucky. She suddenly felt like she was going to be sick as her stomach twisted with guilt.

She had fucked up.

"You can't tell anyone," whispered out Alex after a moment had passed and she looked up and over at Nicky. "You can't tell anyone what I told you, Nicky! Especially Piper!" Piper ,she knew would freak if she ever found out what she had done to Pennsatucky, especially after she had told her not too.

Nicky nodded her head in understanding at Alex. "You have my word, Vause," she whispered, "I won't mention anything."

_"Are you fucking kidding me?" cried out Alex towards Piper in frustration. _

_"What?" asked Piper innocently towards her girlfriend. She didn't understand why she was suddenly so upset. _

_"No, Piper! Fucking NO!" cried out Alex again. Her green eyes glaring through her glasses at the blonde. The two woman were standing in the kitchen, staring each other down. _

_"What's the fucking big deal, Alex?" asked Piper, still not understanding why she was so upset. _

_Alex just glared at Piper for a moment in disbelief. She really didn't know why she was upset. She inhaled sharply through her nose before storming abruptly away from Piper and into the bedroom. _

_She needed sometime alone. _

_"ALEX!" cried out Piper after her but Alex ignored her. _

_The bedroom door slammed loudly behind her. Making her point clear to Piper. _

The next few days, passed by slowly. Alex was always on the edge of her seat, waiting for Pennsatucky to rat her out on lesbian activity.

But the hillbilly never did.

Pennsatucky avoided Alex whenever she could. At work, she kept to herself, only talking to her loyal followers. She no longer showed up early for breakfast to taunt Piper. She stayed clear of Alex in the bathroom, in the dorm, every where really.

It looked like Pennsatucky had learned her lesson.

Alex didn't know if this was a good thing or not though. She was happy that Pennsatucky was no longer a problem but she still felt guilty for what she had done to the meth head. But she tried not to allow herself to think about it too much. She still had Piper to worry about.

The blonde had been informed the previous day that there would be a possible trial for what Healy had done to her, if she decided to press charges that was. Her family had found out what had happened to her and they now wanted justice.

Piper thought differently though.

She didn't want to have to face Healy or have to think about what he did to her. She just wanted the whole ordeal to be swept underneath the rug while she was at Litchfield. She just wanted to move passed it all. It didn't help matters that the prison was still talking about it too.

Alex held Piper's hand as they sat on the bathroom floor together. Alex bit her tongue as she watched as the blood ran down Piper's leg. She hated how she was back to harming herself. It seemed like they were forever going around in a circle. When one problem was solved, another one a rose.

Alex had thought her threat with Pennsatucky would end it all. That magically life would go back to normal for Piper, or as normal as it could go back to in prison. That Piper would started to be herself and stop harming herself. And for a little time she had. She had opened up to her and anyone who was around to talk to her. But then, something would happen and Piper would find herself back on the bathroom floor, razor blade in hand.

The moment it had happened though, Piper would tell Alex. And Alex would try not to let her disappoint show.

Alex knew that Piper had still a long recovery. Especially now with the pressure of her family to proceed with this trial and pressure charges on Healy. Alex wanted to see the bastard pay for what he had done to her but she knew that it wasn't what Piper wanted. She just wanted to be left alone.

It was still early though.

Anything could happen. Even if Piper did go through with it all, it could be a year or two before it even went to court. Piper would be out of prison by then and hopefully, passed all this pain. Plus, the charges might not even stick on Healy. Just they had evidence on him but in most rape cases, the predator walked. Especially when that predator worked for the government.

On the other hand though, Piper came from money. The Chapmans were an old wealthy family and wouldn't take no for an answer. They would do anything in their power to see justice for one of their members. Piper had people outsides these walls that would fight tooth and nail for her.

Alex gave Piper's hand a squeeze, letting her know she was here for her as Piper fought back a sob. She hated how she always ended back here. She tried to fight off the urge but no matter how much she talked to someone about what she was feeling. She couldn't seem to stop. It was really still the only way she found she could deal with the pain of everything.

Piper turned her head away from Alex and closed her eyes, as the tears began to shed from her eyes, one by one down her cheeks. She bit down on her lower lip, preventing her from crying out as her skin burned from where the cut had been made, just moments ago.

_Piper swore underneath her breathe as she continued to gawk at the closed bedroom door, in hopes that it would open and Alex would appear. _

_However, it remained closed to her. _

_"Damn it!" swore Piper again as she buried her hands into her face and turned to look at the untouched dinner on the counter. The night was not suppose to go like this. It was suppose to be so different. _

_She had planned on having a romantic evening with Alex, warming her up before telling her the news. However, Alex had found out on her own and was not to happy about it. She knew that Alex would have strong feelings about hearing her plans for the summer. She knew that Alex had mention about taking her to New York City with her after the school semester was over. And her assistant job with at the college was over and maybe taking her to Europe. _

_However, Piper had gotten a job offer to continue to work with the professor she was working with now, over the summer. Piper, who loved what she was doing now had been thrilled to be asked to stay on and continued to work. _

_She knew that Alex didn't like Northampton and was only staying here because of her but she didn't think that the raven beauty would have such strong feelings to prolong her stay for a few months more. _

_She heard her stomach grumble with hunger as the smell of pasta wharf through her nose but she ignored it. Instead she reached for the open bottle of red wine, which sat beside the plate. She didn't bother to pour a glass and instead drank straight from the bottle. _

Piper adjusted her weight in the uncomfortable plastic chair and looked across the table at her mother, her lawyer- Larry's father and Larry himself. She hadn't been excepting him to come along but he had. He was still on her visitors list. She bit down on her lower lip, nervously as she locked eyes with Larry.

He smiled kindly at her. He reached out across the table for her hand but she quickly moved it away from his grasp and underneath the table.

"CHAPMAN! HANDS WERE I CAN SEE THEM!" cried out one of the prison guards suddenly. Piper looked over her shoulder at this, blushing slightly as she placed them back onto the surface of the table.

Larry didn't make another attempt to take her hand. He just smiled her again as she looked on at him.

She didn't know what to think at this point about him being here. It had seemed so long since they had last spoken to each other. She hadn't talked to him since Christmas. She had talked to Polly though, and she had told her about how Larry wanted to try again and still loved her. That he was always asking about her and such.

Piper loved him.

But she wasn't in love with him anymore. She wasn't even sure if she had ever been really in love with him. She had just loved the idea of him more and what he represented. A save harbour. Someone she could count on later in life to be there for her and support her.

But she wasn't sure if that was what she wanted now?

A husband, the white picket fence, the three kids, the mini-van...

Her blue eyes continued to stare at Larry for a second longer, pondering all this before Larry's father grabbed her attention and began to discuss why they were there.

They were here to discuss the possible trial and to convince her to press charges on Healy.

Something, she did not want to do.

_Alex swore underneath her breath as she began to draw herself a bath. She was in need of letting off some tension. She rather have a drink with her but a long hot bath was the next best thing. _

_As the sound of running water filled the room, Alex began to strip down to her birthday suite. She left her clothes scattered on the floor, not bothering to put them in the hamper. She knew that Piper would have a field day if she saw them on the floor but she didn't care at the moment. _

_She was already pissed off at the blonde. _

_"Fuck her," whispered Alex to herself as she appeared slightly at her appearance in the bathroom mirror. This night was suppose to go differently, she thought to herself as she slowly slid her glasses off of her face and folded them. Placing them on the bathroom vanity. _

_She then roughly tied her hair up into a messy top knot before turning off the facet of the bath and getting inside. _

_She was feeling a mix of emotions at the moment. She knew she had flipped out at Piper. But she couldn't help herself. She had thought that her and Piper and had plan. That after Piper's was done with her job that they would sell the apartment and head off to Alex' lavish loft penthouse in New York City. It was there that Alex would introduce the blonde to her favourite place on earth, showing her around the town and introducing her to her friends. _

_Alex had even planned on taking a trip down to New Jersey to her hometown and introduce Piper to her mom. She had told her mom all about Piper. Something, she usually didn't do. She always made sure to protect the details of her love life from her mom. But with Piper it had been different. _

_Alex couldn't seem to wait to tell her mom about this incredible woman that was in her life. _

_They had even talked about going to Europe for a month or two. Piper had been there before but never with Alex Vause. She was promised Piper it would be a whole other experience with her as her tour guide. _

_But everything had just been talk between them. Wishes and dreams. Nothing had been final really. _

_Plus it was only March, it was still winter. The semester didn't end until May. _

_Alex splashed water onto her face before sinking deeper into the tub. She was suddenly feeling guilty for overreacting to what should had been Piper's good news. She knew that Piper loved working at the college along side her professor. That girl loved to learn and teach. _

_But Alex the minute she had found out from a message on the answering machine for Piper about the job, she had flipped. She felt like her whole world had turned upside down before her eyes. _

_She hated the feeling of not being in control. _

Alex tried not to let the sight of Piper and Larry affect her, as she continued to spy on them through the window that looked into the visitation room.

"What no pretty little red head today, Vause?" asked Nicky as she approached Alex from behind and came to stand beside her.

Alex didn't make an attempt to look at Nicky. She just shook her head in reply as she continued to stare on at Piper. The infamous red head was not visiting her today.

"Oh wow, there's like a whole pow-wow thing going on in there," observed Nicky as looked over to where Alex was staring. It wasn't out of the blue for Piper to have visitors on Saturday but she normally only had one or two people. Never three.

"Yep," murmured Alex in reply.

Piper had warned her of the visit but it still felt strange for her to see it now. All of them sitting there like some happy family while she watched from the sidelines. How she wished she could be there with her, supporting her. She felt useless just standing here while Piper was in there.

"She doesn't want any of this shit but they are making her do it," explained Alex in a pissed off tone.

Piper didn't want to press charges or anything. She didn't want to go through a trial and have to face Healy again. She just wanted to move on from it. However, after her family and friends had heard about what had happened, they had been furious that nothing had been done except for Healy losing his job. They wanted justice for Piper.

Nicky didn't know what to say to any of this. She could tell that Alex wasn't happy that Piper was being bullied into doing something she wasn't comfortable with. But she couldn't help but feel a little jealous of the blonde. She had a whole team behind her, supporting her. If the same thing had happened to Nicky, her mother wouldn't had batted an eyelash.

_The living room was dark and quiet as Alex slowly opened the bedroom door and scanned around the room. _

_It had been two hours since she had stormed out on Piper. She had just needed some space and to cool down. But she was now ready to make up. _

_However, Piper was nowhere in sight. _

_"Fuck," swore Alex to herself as she ran a hand through her hair. She continued to stand there in the threshold of the bedroom, debating what to do next. She noticed the open bottle of wine on the coffee table and the untouched dinner on the counter. _

_An uneasy feeling washed over her at this. She didn't like the idea that Piper had been drinking, alone because of her. Waking slowly into the living room, she reached for the bottle. It was still half full. _

_Bringing the bottle up to her lips, she drank greedily from it before lowering it and letting out a sigh. She then placed it back onto the coffee table before making her way into the kitchen. _

_She was going to warm up, herself some dinner and wait for Piper to come back. _

"I don't want any of this," whispered out Piper, trying to find her voice. "I don't want fucking any of this!" Her blue eyes were filled with determination as she scanned the three faces appearing back at her.

"Piper, sweetie," replied her mother, Carol in a understanding voice, "You have been through a lot. And I understand that you are scared and just want everything to go away. But this isn't something that can be swept under the rug like yesterday's news."

Piper shook her head dramatically at this. Her mother, once again like always wasn't listening to her. "You don't fucking get it!" she cried out in frustration. "I don't want to press charges. I don't want to fucking go through all this! A trial! I just want to fucking forget about it!" There were tears in her eyes as she suddenly pushed back her chair and rose to her feet.

There was still twenty minutes left before visiting hours were over but she didn't care. She'd had enough. She had enough of listening to Larry's father talk like she didn't have feelings with his lawyer talk.

She just wanted to be alone.

She heard Larry call out after her but she ignored it. She didn't look back as she walked passed the guard and walked out of the room and into the small adjoining room where search was done.

_Piper quietly walked into the apartment, closing the door behind her. The only light in the room was coming from the television. _

_Piper couldn't help but smile as she continued to walk into the living room. _

_Alex was curled up on the plush leather couch, fast asleep. It always amazed Piper how vulnerable Alex looked when she slept. Like a little girl. _

_She stood there for a moment, looking down at Alex before leaning over the side of the couch and kissing Alex on the lips. _

_True love's kiss. _

_Alex's eyes fluttered open at this. She was suddenly alert and awake as she stared up at Piper. _

_"Hey," whispered Piper, a small smile appearing on her face. _

_"Hey," whispered back Alex. _

_The two women then shared another kiss before Alex slowly began to sit up and rub the sleep away from her eyes. _

_A silence then fell over them as Piper shed off her jacket and took a seat on the couch beside Alex. The blonde look uncertain at Alex. She was nervous that Alex was still mad at her. _

_As if reading her thoughts, Alex smiled back at her. She then suddenly wrapped an arm around Piper and pulled her to her. She pressed a kiss to Piper's temple. _

_Alex wasn't mad any longer. _

_The two women didn't say another word to each other as they curled up into one another, leaning back against the pillows of the couch and looking on at the television screen. _

_They stayed like this for a minute or two longer, Alex gently caressing Piper's arm before Piper spoke. _

_"I told him no," she whispered. _

_Alex turned immediately to face Piper at this. A surprise look was on her face. _

_"I turned down the job," spoke Piper again, a smile appearing on her face. "I'm all yours for the summer!" _

_Alex continued to stare at Piper for a moment. She was taken back by this. She hadn't expected for Piper to turn down the job, so soon. "Piper," she whispered, "You don't have to do that..." _

_Her voice trailed off as Piper interrupted her with a kiss. The blonde pressed her mouth to Alex's. "Alex, I want too," she whispered tenderly as she pulled away and looked deeply into Alex's eyes. "I want to travel the world with you. Where ever you go, I will go!" _

_Alex smiled slowly at this. _

_The two women looked adoringly at each other before their lips met again in a kiss. _

Alex didn't say anything as she approached Piper. She had seen the whole thing as Piper had stormed out of the visitation room, clearly upset.

It hadn't taken her long to figure out where the blonde had gone off too.

She was in the library, hidden between the sacks.

Piper looked up at her briefly before dropping her gaze onto her lap. There were tears spilling down her cheeks.

Neither spoke a word as Alex took the seat beside Piper and took her hand into her own. Her green eyes gazed intensely onto Piper's face as she brought her hand up to her lips and kissed it.

She was there for her.

Piper let out a sniffle before once again looking over at Alex. She gave her a small smile before resting her head against her shoulder.

Alex gave her hand a squeeze as she lowered it and rested it against her thigh. She nuzzled her face into Piper's hair, taking in the scent of her shampoo. She then pressed a kiss to her hairline before resting her head against Piper's. A blanket of silence falling over them.

* * *

I know this chapter probably felt like a mitch-mosh of things but I wanted to get a few things clear before the next chapter.

Thanks for reading and please leave a review!

Julie


	19. Chapter 19

Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

So I didn't realise until I read over this chapter, that it's very smutty. ;) oh well.

Enjoy!

* * *

_Alex stood on the sidelines of the crowd, watching as everyone cheered and clapped as Piper leaned forward and blew out the candles on her cake. _

_It was her 23rd birthday, March 18th. _

_Alex continued to watch as Piper tilted her head back and laughed at something someone had said near her. The blonde tucked her long hair behind her ears, nodding her head in reply before her blue eyes began to look around the room. It took Piper a moment but she grinned widely as she locked eyes with Alex. _

_Alex smiled back at her girlfriend and gave a small wave. She desperately wanted to take her back to the apartment for an more intimate party of two. However, this was Piper's day and she didn't want to ruin it. _

_Piper, best friend Polly had thrown Piper a massive birthday party with all her old high school and college friends in attendance. Alex had felt a little left out since arriving. She was one of the older people at the party, she didn't look like it but she felt like it. Plus, Piper had been sweep away from her earlier on in the party. She was the centre of attention. The belle of the ball, like she should be. But Alex couldn't help but feel selfish for wanting to have Piper all to herself. _

_She knew though it would only been an hour or two later before she got to take the birthday girl home and give her present to her. _

_The two women continued to stare at one another from across the room before Piper was interrupted by one of her friends. _

_Alex then watched as Piper turned her attention away and onto her friend. She watched as Piper smiled and threw her arms around this person into a hug. She frowned slightly at this before bringing the beer, she held in her hand up to her lips and drained the remainder of the liquid. _

Piper smiled at Alex from across the crowded cafeteria and began to make her way towards the table.

The dark haired woman was seated with Nicky and Lorna.

It was lunch time. Piper had just gotten off work. Unlike everyone else, who had gotten the day off for the holiday, she hadn't been so lucky. Someone still had to clean the bathrooms, despite it being the country's birthday.

It was the fourth of July, two months since her return from SHU.

Things finally seemed to be in a good place for her or as good as they could be. Piper had finally stopped cutting herself. It had take her a few good tries but she hadn't had the urge to cut in three weeks. This was a record for her.

Her nightmares were still filled with Healy and Pennsatucky but she was learning how to deal with them. Pennsatucky had even stopped bothering her. She wasn't sure why but she didn't question it.

Piper was just glad to be left alone, for once since arriving at Litchfield.

"Hey," greeted Alex to her warmly. There was a smile plastered on Alex's face as Piper slid into the seat from across her.

"Hey," whispered back Piper, returning the smile.

The two women continued to stare at each other for a second longer before Nicky interrupted them.

Nicky smiled sheepishly at the two of them, knowing she had just interrupted a moment. "You can eye fuck later, I want to give you my present before I forget," spoke Nicky towards Alex, before sliding over a brown paper package to her. She had kept it hidden from Alex the whole time since sitting down for lunch.

Alex tore her eyes away from Piper at this and looked over at her friend, "Nicky..." she whispered as her brows fussed together in confusion. She didn't understand how Nicky had found out. "How did you?"

"I have my sources Vause," replied Nicky a smug look appearing on her face. "Now just open it, would you?" She was proud of her present she had managed to get for Alex and she was eager to see Alex's reaction to it.

Alex continued to stare at Nicky for a second longer. Sudden tears filled her eyes but she quickly blinked them away as she looked down at the wrap gift before her. She was touched by Nicky's devotion. It seemed like forever since she had received a birthday gift.

"Thanks," she flashed a smile at Nicky before beginning to slowly unwrap the present.

Everyone at the table was quiet for a second as they watched as Alex unwrapped the present.

Piper was puzzled by all this. She didn't understand what was happening. Other then it being the fourth of July, she didn't know what other day it was. "What's going on?" she asked looking between Nicky, Alex and Lorna.

Both Nicky and Lorna exchanged a look with another before looking back at Piper. "You don't know what day it is?" asked Nicky, trying to hold back her amusement.

"It's the fourth of July..." Piper answered back slowly. She still didn't understand what was going on as Nicky smirked at her. Since when were presents exchanged on the fourth of July?

"It's Alex's birthday, hun," whispered Lorna softly in reply. She gave Piper a sympathetic smile before shooting a glare in Nicky's direction. The bushy blonde was having too much fun that Piper didn't know Alex's birthday was today.

"Oh," whispered Piper as her whole face turned a bright shad of red. She then glanced over at Alex, who was frowning.

"It's okay Pipes," spoke Alex. She wasn't upset that Piper didn't remember her birthday. It had been so long since she had last celebrated it herself. She still didn't understand how Nicky had known about it. Plus, Piper had enough on her plate at the moment to deal with then to remember her birthday.

The gift lay untouched and forgotten about at that moment as Alex continued to lock eyes with Piper.

"Happy Birthday Alex," whispered Piper next, a small smile appearing on her face.

"Thanks Kid," whispered back Alex, returning the smile. The two women continued to stare at each other before being interrupted by the loud coughing of Nicky.

"Sorry," murmured Piper as she dropped her gaze from Alex's eyes.

Alex just glared at Nicky before turning her attention back down on her gift, which was only half unwrapped still.

Everyone then watched as she once again began to unwrap the paper.

"It's not much but I thought you should have something to open on your birthday, Vause," explained Nicky as Alex looked down at the present. It was a book. One that Alex had mentioned to Nicky a few months ago she had never read. Nicky had managed to get Red to bring it in for her.

Alex studied the cover of the hardcover for a second before looking over at Nicky. "Thanks, Nichols," she tried to keep her emotions at bay but was struggling too. It had been some time since someone had thought of her like this. To take the time to remember what she wanted and getting it. She smiled at Nicky, her eyes shinning with moisture.

Normally, Nicky would say she was getting soft but instead she just returned the smile and wished Alex a happy birthday. "Happy Birthday Vause!"

_It was warm as they walked down the street, hand in hand towards the apartment. _

_It had finally stopped snowing like Piper said it would and began to thaw to Alex's delight. It was an early spring like the ground hog had predicted it would be. _

_Piper let out a drunken giggle as she stumbled slightly on the sidewalk. Her hand clenched onto Alex's for support and the dark haired woman continued to lead her down the street. _

_Both were desperate to get to the apartment. _

_Even know, they had both been in the same place, it felt like they hadn't seen each other all night. Piper hadn't wanted a birthday party but her friend Polly had forced it one her. Piper had to admit it had been fun to see all her old friends again but she was happy now that it was over and that she finally got to spend the last few hours of her birthday with Alex. _

_Something she had been looking forward too all day. She had spent the morning with Alex before being dragged out to a birthday lunch with Polly and her mother.. The three of them had spend the entire afternoon at a Spa, pampering themselves for the party. _

_Piper had returned to the apartment to get dressed and had arrived with Alex to the party, which had been at some lavish restaurant that Polly had managed to rent out for the night. She had been separated from Alex for most of the night, which she hadn't liked very much. But no matter where she looked, she could always find Alex in the crowd, watching her with desire in her eyes. _

Everyone was outside, enjoying the fireworks as they lit up the sky; while Piper and Alex made fireworks of their own. They only had a half an hour or so as Piper lead Alex into the chapel.

Her hand was sweating as she continued to pull the taller woman towards the stage. She was nervous but she knew it was now or never.

Alex had been patient with her over the last two months and Piper wanted to make it up to her. Especially since she had forgotten it was Alex's birthday today. She wanted to give her something no one else could, herself.

Knowing what Piper had in mind, Alex stopped her suddenly. "You don't have to do this Pipes," she whispered tenderly as she gave her hand a squeeze. Her green eyes bore into her as she brought her free hand up and cupped the side of Piper's face, caressing her thumb along her jaw line.

Piper smiled at her in return. She then cupped the back of Alex's head and cashed her mouth to hers.

She wanted to do this.

The kiss was soft and tender at first as Piper continued to press her lips against Alex's. Her arms were loosely draped around the older woman's neck. Her heart was beating rapidly against her chest with nerves but she ignored it. This was something she needed to do, she told herself.

Alex stood there for a moment before slowly giving in to temptation and kissed Piper back. She knew that Piper wanted to do this for her but she didn't want to push her in to do something she wasn't ready for.

It had been a while since they had been inmate with each other. Alex was fine with taking things slow. She wanted to see Piper continue to recover and not rush into anything she wasn't mentally prepared for. She didn't want to see her backtrack, again.

As the kiss slowly began to deepen, Alex rested her hands softly on the edge of Piper's hips. The pads of her thumbs carefully pushing down on the waist band of Piper's pants, revealing an inch of flesh. She then softly began to caress the skin that was tight along her pelvis bone.

Piper let out a slight breathe at this, breaking the kiss for a second before continuing on. She pulled Alex closer to her as she parted open the older woman's lips and slid the tip on her tongue into her mouth. She ran it slowly along the edge of her bottom teeth before exploring deeper within.

Following Piper's lead, Alex intertwined her tongue with hers, her hands sliding slightly upwards, underneath her shirt. She felt Piper tense slightly as she moved her hands around her back and rested them underneath the hook on her bra. She could tell that Piper was nervous.

_Alex broke away from the kiss as she ran the tip of her tongue into the hole of Piper's ear before taking her earlobe into her mouth. She nibbled down on it. Her breathe was hot against Piper's skin. _

_Her green eyes looked onto Piper's face before she began to sing in between kisses and make her way down her body. _

_"Happy Birthday to you," whispered Alex in a sing-a-song voice, "Happy Birthday to youu..."_

_Her chest brushing up against Piper's as she leaned forward and kissed the soft spot of skin between her breasts before traveling down to her navel. _

_"Happy Birthday dear Piper..." Alex's green eyes once again focusing on Piper, who was staring intensely back at her as she inched her way down to in between her legs. _

_"Happy Birthday to yoouu," she sang out the last note as she planted a kiss on the outer folds of Piper's pussy. _

_Piper's hips flexed slightly at this. Her eyes were dark with lust for Alex as she continued to watch as Alex slowly ran her tongue up against her. Making her quiver with desire. _

_"Mmmmhmm," she moaned out loudly as she closed her eyes and allowed for Alex's touch to take over._

_"That's right baby," whispered Alex, "Just sit back and enjoy." Her green eyes bore into Piper for a second before licking at her cunt again. She licked and sucked at her clit and around the outside of her opening before sliding the tip of her tongue slightly in. Teasing Piper._

_She did this for a moment or two before pressing her entire mouth over the opening and blowing hot air against the sensitive skin. This earned her another deep moan from Piper. _

_"Alex," whispered Piper, who still had her eyes closed shut. _

_Alex repeated the movement before roughly licking up the entire length of her pussy. Her touch was deeper then it had been before. The lips of Piper's pussy were now swollen and throbbing against Alex's mouth. _

_Alex then began to once again suck on her clit, flicking her tongue across the sensitive bud. Piper's moans were more insistent at this. Her hand caressed the back of Alex's head, deepening her touch on her. _

_Alex flicked her tongue once again, against Piper's clit, nuzzling her opens with her chin and nose. Allowing herself to get better access to Piper's pink pussy. _

_Piper arched her back and moaned, as she began to roll her hips against Alex's mouth. She was close to coming. Her fingers had started to tighten in Alex's hair. Her breathing was getting short and sharp as she approached her orgasm. _

_Alex sucked harder on Piper clit at this, mercilessly flicking it with her tongue. As her mouth continued to work the sensitive bud, she brought as hand to her cunt. She dragged her fingers slightly against the skin before sliding two fingers into her. Piper was wet and ready as she began to quickly thrust them into the slick cunt. _

_Piper groan out again, her fingers pulling harder on Alex's hair, bringing her closer against her. _

_Alex couldn't help but moan slightly into Piper as she breathed in the intoxicating, musky smell of her. She could feel her own pussy throbbing with desire to be touched but she ignored it. This was about Piper. _

_Alex eyes flickered up to Piper's face. Her eyes were squeezed shut, her mouth hanging open as she breathed in short breathes, in and out, in and out. She watched the rise and fall of her chest as she continued to thrust her fingers within Piper, her tongue still working her clit. Alex could feel it start to shift under her tongue. _

_Piper was so close now. _

_"Ohhhh...I'm...CCUUMMINGG..." Piper panted before her body exploded. The walls of her vagina tightened and contracted against Alex's fingers as she dragged them deeper into her wet pussy. _

_Alex continued to thrust her hand into Piper, feeling her juices spill out onto her palm. She kept on licking at her clit, dragging out every last wave of pleasure from her. She could feel Piper's hand relax in her hair. She planted a quick kiss on Piper's swollen clit before lifting her head upwards and looked on at Piper, who was drawing in big breaths. _

_Piper's face was relaxed by this point. Her eyelids were heavy as she looked back at Alex. She stroked at her hair, a lazy smile appearing on her face. _

_Alex licked her lips before smirking back at Piper. She then slowly drew her fingers from her pussy. They were coated in Piper's juices. _

_Alex then lowly brought them up to her lips and sucked them clean. _

_Piper moaned out slightly as she watched as Alex once again licked her lips, catching any trace of her juices on them. _

_"Happy Birthday, Kid," whispered Alex as she moved so that she was now towering over Piper. _

_The two women smiled sheepishly at each other before Alex brought her lips down onto Piper's, dragging her into a passionate kiss. _

"Are you sure about this?" asked Alex as she sat in between Piper's legs and looked straight on at her. Both woman were completely naked now as they lay on the stage of the chapel.

The fireworks were still going off outside, giving them still pleasantly of time to themselves.

"Because, we don't have to Pipes...if you aren't ready," continued on Alex as her eyes studied Piper's face.

Piper's eyes darkened with desire as she looked back at Alex. A small smile appeared on her face as she nodded her head in reply. She was ready. "I want too..." she whispered. Yes, she was nervous. But it was a good nervous. Yes, she was scared but only because Alex was seeing her body for the first time really in months.

Alex, she knew loved her and she loved her too. And she wanted to show Alex, how much she meant to her by doing this.

Alex stared at her for a second longer before smiling slightly. "Okay," she breathed out as she slowly moved so that she was towering over Piper. Leaning forward, she captured Piper's lips into a tender kiss. "But tell me if it's too much. Use the safe word," she whispered in between kisses.

Piper nodded her head in reply. She remembered the safe word. Long ago they had established when Alex had wanted to explore mild domination in the bedroom. Their safe word was pineapple. Piper couldn't help but smile at the memory of it. "Pineapple," she whispered, testing the word out on her lips.

"Pineapple," whispered back Alex as she once again pressed her mouth to Piper's. The kiss was long and tender at first before growing with passion as Alex began to press her naked flesh into Piper's.

Her knees supported her weight as her spin curved and her hands slid up Piper's torso. The pads of her fingers gliding slowly up her ribs to her breasts. She squeezed them between her palms as their lips parted open and tongues once again met. Alex's hands deepened their touch as they began to roughly kneed at her breasts.

Piper purred into Alex's mouth as she felt the pads of her thumbs brush every so lightly against the tips of her nipples. She repeated this action over and over again, teasing Piper.

Her nipples hardened immediately underneath Alex's touch. She could feel tears in her eyes but she tried to blink them away. It had been so long since she had been touched like this it seemed.

After seven months of being by herself and only allowing for small touches, she was finally allowing herself to be loved.

The two women continued to kiss passionately as Alex's hands continued to roam up and down Piper's body. They ran down her rib cage and along her pelvis bone to her outer thigh. Alex was allowing for her to get use to her touch.

This wasn't just sex.

It was showing Piper that she loved her and deserved to be loved.

As Alex's hands continued to trace circles along Piper's creamy thighs, Alex's mouth began to trail wet kisses down her neck. She started at the spot just belong her ear and down along the curve of her neck to her collar bone. Her teeth nibbled and bit at the skin as she went. Leaving a wet trail of love bits on Piper's skin. She tenderly kissed the spot between Piper's breasts as she softly rubbed her hands against Piper's pussy.

Piper let out a shudder breath at this. She was taken back by Alex's sudden touch but in a good way. She moan out slightly as she felt Alex's long fingers again brush up against her centre.

Alex looked up briefly at Piper, making sure she was okay before she once again began to kiss her way down the flatness of Piper's stomach. Her lips moved down the curve of her ribcage and down to her belly button. She swirled the tip of her tongue within before making her way down to the two silver marks just above her hip bone. It was were Taylor had stabbed her with the screwdriver.

Alex spent sometime here.

She continued to press her lips against the scars. Like a mother kisses the pain of a boo-boo away. It was the first time she was seeing the scars. She had once known every scare and mark on Piper's body. But she was a new country to explore now to Alex.

Her fingers once again brushed against Piper's pussy, teasing her again before traveling down the side of her inner thigh. The pads of her fingers lovingly touching the ridges of cuts that marked her leg. They were all closed and healing now but it still didn't make it easy for Alex to see. She hated that they were there. But they were part of Piper now and she couldn't change that.

Silent tears fell from Piper's eyes and rolled down her cheeks as Alex continued to touch her body. She had never felt so overwhelmed by someone's love then she was at this moment with Alex's. She was showing her that she was loved.

"You okay?" whispered Alex in a tender voice as she looked up and appeared at Piper. She knew this was hard on Piper and she didn't want to go any further if Piper wasn't ready.

Piper lifted her head up at this and nodded. Despite her tears, she was happy. She smiled warmly at Alex in return. "Yes," she whispered in a low voice. She was really okay.

Alex looked at her sceptically for a second longer before leaning down and kissing the inch of flesh above Piper's pussy. Her hands then once again began to roam along Piper's thighs and down along to her knees and back. She pushed Piper's legs apart further and began to kiss her inner thigh of her left leg.

Her tongue and lips pressing gently against the tender flesh.

Piper's body was vibrating with each kiss. Both fear and excitement buzzed through veins. She watched through heavy eyes as Alex's mouth edge it way closer to her throbbing cunt.

Alex couldn't help but smirk as she nuzzled her face into Piper's pubic hair and hear the low purr of Piper's voice. "Alexx," she whispered as she threw her head back and arched her back in response as Alex flicked her tongue softly against her clit.

Alex repeated the motion again before stopping.

Piper immediately lifted her head at this and locked eyes with Alex.

Alex just shook her head slowly from side to side at this, a sly smile playing on her face. She knew what Piper wanted but she wasn't going to give it to her just yet. She was till having too much fun, unwrapping her.

"You are my present Pipes, and I'm not done unwrapping you," whispered Alex in a seductive voice, her green eyes dark with lust. She winked at Piper before lowering her head once again and began to kiss the inner thigh of her right leg.

Piper let out a slight sigh a this.

She was slowly getting hot and bothered by the light feathery touches of Alex's mouth and fingers. She didn't know how much longer she would last before self combusting.

It had been too long since she had been loved like this. She wanted more of it. Desired more of this dark haired beauty who lay in between her legs.

_"What's this?" asked Piper as she took the small box, wrapped in deep purple paper from Alex's outstretched hand and into her own. Her blue eyes looked from Alex's face and the box and back. _

_They had just finished making love for the second time and were seated in bed. It was almost midnight and Piper's birthday was soon coming to an end. However, Alex had one more surprise for her. _

_"It's your present," whispered Alex tenderly in reply. _

_"But you have already given me my present," replied Piper in confusion. Alex had already given her a gift that morning. _

_Alex couldn't help but chuckle at this. "Can't I give you more then one present, Pipes?" she asked, an amused look appearing on her face. "Just open it," she whispered as she leaned forward and planted a kiss on the side of Piper's neck. _

_Piper just stared at the box in her hands for a second longer before her face broke out into a grin. A sudden wave of excitement coming over her. She loved opening presents. _

_Alex found herself holding her breathe as she watched as Piper slowly undid the paper and revealed the small velvet box. Her eyes bore into Piper's as she slowly opened the box and revealed what lay inside. It was a necklace. _

_It had a rose gold chain and small dainty charm of a heart dangling from it. _

_Alex watched as Piper's finger with the heart in her hand. She couldn't tell if the blonde liked it or not. _

_"You will always have my heart, Piper Chapman," whispered Alex, breaking the silence between them. Her eyes shined with devotion for her. _

_Piper looked up immediately up at this and locked eyes with Alex. There were tears in her eyes. She was taken back by this. "It's beautiful, Alex," she whispered, "Can you put it on me?" _

_Alex nodded her head, as a smile appearing on her face at this. "Of course, kid," she whispered as she took the box from Piper and began to remove the delicate necklace. _

_Neither women said a thing as Alex undid the lobster clasp of the necklace and Piper moved slightly in the bed, so that her back was to Alex. She removed her blonde hair and lifted it off her neck as she felt Alex's finger brush slightly up against her skin as she put the necklace on. _

_Alex did up the clasp before planting a soft kiss on the back of Piper's neck. Piper then leaned back against Alex, who's arms wrapped powerfully around her. _

_"I heart you," whispered Alex softly into Piper's ear. _

_"I heart you," whispered back Piper in reply. _

Piper moan out loudly.

Her voice echoing through the chapel as Alex's mouth continued to lick and suck at her cunt.

What had started off with slow, loving teases was now rough, hard sex. Alex had two fingers pushing in and out of her opening as a third slid into her anus.

Piper had her legs bent and spread wide on the stage of the chapel. Her hands were pressing into the stage as her back arched and hips flexed into Alex's mouth.

Alex smiled into Piper's pussy as she licked at her wetness and sucked at her clit. She knew they only had a few minutes left before they had to return back to the dorms for count. The fireworks were still going off outside but would be ending soon. Their half an hour was almost over.

She deepened her touch suddenly as she roughly ran her tongue along the entire surface. Tasting Piper's juices.

Another moan of pleasure escaped from the back of Piper's throat at this. What Alex was doing to her felt so good. Her body felt like it was on fire as a warmth spread from the pit of her stomach and through out, reaching the tips of her toes. She wouldn't last much longer.

The tip of Alex's tongue dipped into Piper, along with her fingers for a second before going back to her clit. Alex took the entire thing into her mouth and sucked down on it hard like a vacuum. She flicked it back and forth between her tongue as her fingers continued to rapidly move in and out of her.

She continued to do this until Piper's thighs began to shake on either side of her.

Piper's body burst like a balloon. Her orgasm coming loudly and powerful. Her hand clenched at the back of Alex's head, pushing her deeper as another orgasm pulsed through her body.

"I'm CUMMING...AAGHH" she cried out as she hand tensed into Alex's locks for a second before relaxing and falling limp beside her.

Alex continued to suck on her clit for a several seconds longer before slowly removing her hand out. She smiled as she sat up and looked down at Piper.

Piper had tears in her eyes again as she locked eyes with Alex and smiled a lazy smile back. It was at this moment it dawned on her how much she loved this woman. She might not quite love herself but she loved Alex. And she wanted her to know it.

"I love you," whispered Piper.

Alex was taken back by this but didn't miss a beat. "I love you," she whispered back in return as she moved so that she was leaning over Piper and kissed her softly on the lips.

Alex then took Piper in her arms and held her for a second as her heart stopped racing and listened to the last round of fireworks.

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Next chapter will be the last!

Thanks for reading and please leave a review!

Julie


	20. Chapter 20

Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

So, all things must come to an end. This is the last chapter.

When I first started to write this story I didn't really know where it was going. I had ideas on what I wanted to happen but didn't really have a plan. But overall, looking back at everything that I have written, I am happy with the outcome. It know it's not the happiest story to read but that's what I like about it.

Anyways, I just wanted to say a big thank you for everyone who is favourite, followed and reviewed each chapter, good and bad. I love to hear what people think of the story and what they liked and didn't like about it. I have never gotten so much support for a story like this one has. It really means a lot. Thank you again!

I am thinking about doing a sequel in away. It wouldn't take place where this ones ends but more an after Litchfield storyline with using the events of this story in it. Let me know if you would be interested in reading something like that.

Enjoy!

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_Five months later..._

Snowflakes fell like fat, little pieces of white confetti. It was wet snow. The kind of snow one dreamt of as a kid. Not that fluffy cotton ball crap but wet, heavy, packing snow.

The good kind.

It came down in pelts, painting everything in pure whiteness.

It was Christmas time once again at Litchfield. This was the first snowfall of the season.

It was a year ago to the day, that Piper had stood in the exact same spot she was now and beaten Pennsatucky to a pulp. This time, however, she was taking in the beauty of the snow as it covered every each of the prison ground into a winter wonderland.

She was suppose to be meeting Alex in the chapel for the pageant. But she found herself out here, instead.

She couldn't believe how so much had changed in the last year. She was a completely different person it seemed now a days. But that was a good thing.

Piper Chapman finally felt like the person she was suppose to be.

She was stronger then when she had first arrived at Litchfield.

She had faced her demons that she had been running from for years. She had finally taken Suzanne's advise and started cleaning from the inside before working on the outside. At the time she had been talking about cleaning the bathroom but Piper knew there was a deeper meaning to her words.

She had to work on herself before she could work on her relationships with others. She needed to fix and love herself before she could anyone else.

It had taken a lot of shit to get through but she was finally in a good place. It had taken beating the teeth out of Pennsatucky, getting stabbed, a long stint in SHU, being sexually assaulted, having a total meltdown and almost killing herself before she could built herself up again.

It had been a long ride but it had been worth it. It was what Piper had needed to change. She was finally in a happy place in her life, even being still stuck at Litchfield. She finally in away felt like she was 22 again. She took the days as they came. She no longer thought about the future, so much. Or what she would do after prison. If she would still be with Alex or not. If she would have kids or get married.

She only thought about her life in the present.

Piper Chapman didn't need a five year plan any longer.

Tears stung her eyes as she continued to stand there, allowing the snow to fall on her. She smiled widely, as she lifted her head up to the skies.

They were happy tears for once.

Tears of joy.

Tears of relief.

She out stretched her arms and stuck out her tongue, allowing the flakes to fall into her mouth.

"Fuck, Kid!" swore Alex as she wrapped her arms around herself as she came to stand towards where Piper stood. After Piper hadn't shown up at the chapel, Alex had a good feeling she would be able to find the blonde out here. "It fucking freezing out here!"

She should had gone to get her jacket before coming out here, thought Alex to herself as she cover her hands with the sleeves of her white thermal shirt and continued to hug herself.

Piper just turned and smiled at her.

Alex couldn't help but smile back at the sight of her. She was smiling like a little kid. She looked so happy. Piper continued to look at her for a second longer before once again looking up to the skies. She then began to twirl. Her laughter blowing in the wind.

Alex couldn't help but smile again as she continued to watch Piper.

They continued to stand like this for a moment before a cold breeze blew.

Alex let out a shiver. She glanced over her shoulder, towards the door. She desperately wanted to go back inside. "Fuck!" she swore under her breath as she glanced over at Piper. Man, she forgot how much she hated winter and the snow.

It was too cold for her.

But she knew Piper loved the snow and didn't want to ruin the blonde's fun. This seemed to be the first time in a while that she had seen Piper like this.

So happy.

Piper, who had stopped twirling, was now sticking out her tongue to the sky and catching snowflakes again.

"Kid, what are you doing?" asked Alex in amusement.

"Catching snowflakes," murmured back Piper as she continued to look up at the sky.

They stood there for another five minutes before Alex couldn't take it any longer. She was bone cold now and needed to get back inside. "Pipes, come on!" she cried, trying to get Piper's attention. She held out her hand towards Piper.

Piper just shook her head at Alex. "No!" she cried back, a grin once again appearing on her face. She had no desire to go back inside, she was having too much fun in the snow at the moment.

"Come...join me!" she cried out towards the older woman.

Alex just cocked an eyebrow at this. Was Piper being serious?

"Come on!" she cried out again, "Catch snowflakes with me!"

Alex just smirked at Piper before shaking her head. "It's too fucking cold for me!" she cried back. She then began to walk away and back towards the door. She would leave Piper to her fun.

However, the sudden chill of snow hitting the back of her head stopped her dead in her tracks.

"Are you _fucking_ kidding me?" asked Alex as she turned around and glared at Piper. She tried to be pissed off but found the corners of her mouth turning up into a smile as Piper grinned back at her.

"PUSSY!" cried out Piper towards Alex before sticking her tongue out at her. She had her hands on her hips, waiting for Alex to do something.

Alex just cocked an eyebrow at this. She didn't like being called a pussy. "Oh you want to fucking play like that Chapman, uh?" Alex then bent down and ignored the protest of her skin as the snow burned her hands as she made a snowball. "I will show you, you pussy!" She replied back as she suddenly stood up and threw the snow at Piper.

Piper just let out a squeal as she ducked suddenly and allowed the snowball to go flying passed her head.

"Come here you!" cried out Alex as she quickly enclosed the space between her and Piper.

Piper let out another squeal as she felt Alex's arms wrap around her. She grinned like a mad woman as she locked eyes with Alex.

"You little fuck!" whispered Alex, smirking at Piper. She held Piper close in her arms before capturing her lips into a kiss.

"You love me and you know it!" whispered back Piper in between kisses. Her blue eyes pouring into Alex's green ones.

Alex just stared at Piper for a second longer, before pressing a hard kiss to Piper's mouth. "Your right, I do fucking love you Piper Chapman!"

They then kissed again. The kiss was deeper then it had been before.

Piper immediately wrapped her arms around Alex's neck, pressing her body further into her. Alex slid her hands along Piper's sides and up her back.

"HEY! Non-Lesbians!" cried out Nicky towards the couple from the door.

Piper and Alex broke apart immediately at this and looked over at Nicky.

"Pageant's over!" she cried out again, a smirk playing on her face. She then gestured for the two to come back inside. She didn't want to get into trouble.

"Okay!" cried back Alex, towards her friend before turning her attention onto Piper again. She gave the blonde a small smile before pressing a kiss to the side of Piper's neck. "Come on kid," she whispered.

Piper smiled in reply at this. She then took Alex's hand and allowed her to be lead inside.

* * *

Okay, what do ya think? Leave a review, the good, the bad and the nasty!

Thanks for reading!

Julie


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